THREESCOOPS ONLINE

Carmel Swirls' Weigh in on the BET Awards

2007-06-27T19:41:00.000-07:00

When I was about 10 years old I remember anxiously awaiting summer to get popsicles, play "mother may I" in the drive-way of my house, and play outside until the street lights came on. Everyday my mother would utter the same words, " You smell like outdoors!" Everyday was the same until award show day. When the MTV awards came on I would wait all day inside until dinner, grab my plate and sit in front of the television for the 3 hour spectacle. Pre-shows, post-shows, the MAIN EVENT!!! It was all so much as I watched the stars I adored so much in awe. Fast Forwarding to the year 2007, as watched this years BET awards I was thoroughly disappointed. The show started with MoNique's usual parody of Beyonce's latest dance moves. While I myself am a full figured woman who enjoys seeing this sort of empowerment, I only wish she had gone with something a little less predictable. Usually Mo sports the hottest hair and outfits on the award show, but this year I might say she was looking like the drag queen from Holiday Heart. I mean her wig attempts were absolutely horrid, and her poorly tailored wardrobe failed miserably. At this point I will move on from Mo though because I love her and I think she just had an off show...maybe next year will be better.

The performances were another dismal point in the award show. We started with Jennifer Hudson and the Jennifer Holliday. While the performance was a highlight in black history...I am completely and utterly tired of J Hud singing this song. If this is the last time I hear it, it would still be too soon. Furthermore How could she go on to win, 3 awards?!?!?!? She does not even have an album yet? Since when did we start handing out awards for one hit wonders?!?!? ( That question goes for all the other award shows as well) While the Beyonce performance was on point, and Neyo and Fabalous were okay, Fifty could have saved it. I mean who the H*** does he think he is?!?!?! HE completely and utterly disrespected everyone in that audience, not to mention every person that has supported his sorry black a**! And while he tried to correct it by going on 106th and Park the next day these were merely the urgings of his public relations agent. I'm not buying it!!!

On a high note I will commend BET for recognizing the late Gerald Levert, and Don Cheadle for his work in awareness!! And Diana Ross held it down with her speech.

All in all the award show was okay. They get two thumbs to the side. I hope next year they step it up and I can have that same childhood excitement I once knew.

The Fan-F*ckin-Tastic Passion Party

2007-05-09T12:02:00.000-07:00

Hello all, this is Cinnamon Spice and its been awhile since I've posted. But I've got goodies today, so listen up... or point your eyes to the screen and read..hehe.
So this past April 28th I had a interesting day. It started with my frustrated flurry of emotions which was making me panic and turn into a big ole' baby. I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to get up and prepare for my party or anything, I just wanted to chill, watch movies and take a nap, even though at that time I just woke. So the Bf had to whip me into shape, telling me to focus and get happy to show these ladies later on a good time at their Bachlorette Passion Party. So after packing up the car, getting lost even with the directions in my hand (and I wasn't driving, I was driving my bf crazy while he got us lost, hehe) and the finally getting there. I took a deep breath and put on a smile to greet my passion party hostess.
I put all my stuff down in the living room and go straight to the bathroom to breath and put myself together. I was just in a funky mood and unfunk-a-fying myself so I can make some money. Because basically its this, no one will buy anything from a grumpy person.
It took me at least 20 minutes to set up my table and my games the way I liked it, while I was doing this the ladies were socializing and drinking already. And country music was blasting right behind me, I knew these ladies would be fun. I finally gather the ladies to the couches and asked them "How you ladies doing tonight?" And the oldest lady out of the group leaned over with a slight grin and yelled "Fan-F*ckin-Tastic!" Which of course started off the whole night with a shot of happiness.... I cracked up! If you were there to see this woman's face, you'd just know that you've witness a classic moment in time! Hilarious! I found that for the rest of the night I was playing a game between doing my best to keep this drunken lasses focused on what I was saying and not just sitting in a corner with a drink in my hand watching them. I mean, they were seriously silly! I found out later that they had been drinking for 3 hours before I arrived, which was perfect because they picked me right up out of the funky mood I was in and we had more than a rocking fun time. I even made over $500 in sales with this hip-old cat ladies.
It was great, I left that night with money in my bags and a drunken slur in my talk. Oh yea, these ladies made me drink after drink. I was soo glad that I didn't have to drive.

One thing I did notice:
I sometimes play a Sensuality Game (test) with my party participants and I have noticed since I started playing this game that a lot of women are getting their healthy dose of sensuality in their lives. Getting the spice of life that creates a juicy past that you'd love to share in your old age. So what I've decided to do is post one of my sensuality games and you can see where you place in the numbers of it all. The aim of the game is to get the most points. And if you're score is significantly low, like in the 50s and below.... then I'd say you need to ask yourself something.
Am I loving myself? Am I loving myself enough?

Quiz:

In the last 6 months, I've made love in the living room:
Once........ 10pts
Twice........15pts

In the past, I've made love in:
A Car...........5pts
A Pool..........10pts
The Ocean....20pts
A Limo.........25pts
A Boat.........30pts
An Airplane......50

In the last six months, I've enjoyed:
A Candlelight dinner........5
A Sensual Massage.........10
A Gift of Flowers.............10
A Erotic Movie.................15
A Lover's Weekend.........20

When it comes to vibrators:
I own one..............10pts
I use it with my lover......25pts

I make love:
Once a week or less.......5pts
Two or three times a week.......10pts
Four to six times a week..........25pts
Daily..............................50pts

My Sensuality Total __________

Thank you for taking the time to read.
Peace n blessings to you and yours,
Cinnamon Spice

ZZZZZZZ.....

2007-02-26T18:32:00.000-08:00

Well, last night, I attempted to watch the Oscars, but they were boring as hell. So boring that I didn't even bother to try to catch the Dreamgirls performance. But congrats to Jennifer Hudson, and here is the footage of the performance for those who missed it as well. Warning: There's a lot of hollering! I never realized how strong the Dreamgirl's voices really are until seeing this performance. But regardless, it was good hollering that was on key, I won't name any names, but some of the other R&B singers might want to take note on hollerin' 101. Enjoy!

WOOF. AND WEEKLY WORD: MOONWALKER

2007-02-19T13:36:00.000-08:00

It's pretty damn cold outside, which means that you probably are wearing your thick socks. I have no problem wearing thick white socks with heeled boots to give my toes that extra cushion, and to make sure they are nice and toasty. However, it's CRUCIAL that your pants cover up your sock situation! I have been known to throw on a pair of Halloween socks during laundry time, but you better believe they are not visible. If you plan on throwing on a pair on gym socks, prior to leaving out of the house, do a test run by sitting in a chair to make sure your socks are incognito. I just so happened to come across this WOOF at my day job. Not only are the socks visible, but the athletic logo is also very visible! This is a definite no no for work, lol. This person has now acquired the nickname "Socks".

This brings me to another WEEKLY WORD: MOONWALKER

Moonwalker - Moonwalkers are women who visibly wear thick socks with dress shoes/boots. Moonwalkers can also be used to define the thick sock and shoe combination. Only Michael Jackson can get away with thick white socks and black loafers, and I'm sure that if he was on the street in the 07 wearing moonwalkers, he would get a WOOF too.

Need a job? by Smart Cookie

2007-02-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

For those of us who are still obtaining degrees, on the brink of graduation and the entrance to the most dreadful 9 to 5, it's almost that time to start looking for work. It's no longer cool to walk from business to business with a resume in hand, in hopes that someone is hiring. There is a web full of opportunities, and most corporations are relying on the Internet to post their job openings. Here are a few helpful online job sites...

HotJobs.com and Monster.com
These are the most obvious online job sites. Though there are a lot of job postings on these sites, there are also a lot of scam jobs. Not to mention that everyone goes on Monster and Hot Jobs, so the competition will be pretty tough. Everybody and they momma will be applying to the job that you find interesting.

Job-hunt.org
Rated the best site for finding work by Forbes, this site doesn't play games. Not only does it have a large search engine for finding work, but it also provides job research help, online job searching basics (how to begin searching), and online resume advice!

Job-Central.com
This site is a search engine that searches through overs 2600 company/employer sites, then finds the appropriate postings and delivers them in daily e-mails and RSS feeds.

Indeed.com
This is another search engine that goes after postings not just on employer sites, but also on major job boards, blogs and newspaper and professional association listings.

Mediabistro.com
If you are interesting in media careers this is the site for you. You can find jobs in television, magazine publishing, pr/marketing, radio, online/new media, etc. Just a side not, Harpo Studios tends to post their job openings on here, so you know it's legit.

Idealist.org
This site is dedicated to nonprofit jobs.

Chronicle.com
If you check on the career page, there is a ton of information for those looking for work in higher education.

College/University online job boards
Also, utilize any online job postings that your school might have. These are great because the employers have established a relationship with your institution which means if your credentials are on point, you are likely to get hired over someone from another school. If you are out of school already, get a hook up and get one of your friends to search their university's job board for you.

Company sites
For the most part, every business has a website. So if you are interested in a particular company, simply search their site for job openings. If they don't list them on their site, they will more than likely direct you to the site where they list them.

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SEARCH!

WEEKLY WORD: CLOWN CAR

2007-02-19T12:33:00.000-08:00

Clown Car - An extremely small car, more than likely a two-door, that is always packed beyond capacity with the driver's friends and/or family. Though the clown car is quite snug, it's always the first option amongst friends to take to the club because it doesn't take much to fill up its tank, and it has the ability to get into nearly any parking space.

Ex. Gurrrl, I heard Kristen couldn't afford the car note on that benz she just bought. And she had to trade it in for a clown car. I guess she'll be driving us to the party this weekend.

Even A Passionately Peaceful Being Must Vent with a Vengeance

2007-02-17T23:37:00.000-08:00

Well well, how to start. I guess I’ll start with waking up in the morning…. Well it was rough getting up at 5:30am again since I did it the morning before and Im a late bird, I like to wake up in the early afternoon, like 11am, 12pm.
Either way, my bf pushes me out of the bed gently and Im up and slowly running. We are late getting me to the train (blue line) from Long Beach to Los Angeles. I was going to pick up the front door key to my dad’s apartment. So I was going to have to take the blue line to the green line…..get off, say hello to dad, get the key and then get back on the train, back to the blue line, to the red line, to the orange line and then one final bus to my street and then walk to the crib…. (and I’ve done this whole charade before and it’s tiring) So after all that, I get in the apartment and piss cuz I had been holding it since the red line. And take a bath to relax and slowly get prepared for this passion party I had coming that night and maybe take a nap for my tired ass.
I finally lay my ass down to fall slightly into a dream when the nerve wrecking door bell buzzes.
Now, Im not here at my dad’s crib continuously, Im all over the place and no one should have been visiting anyway, so I didn’t know to answer or not. So I call dad to make sure it wasn’t him at the door. And the door bell kept buzzing, and frantically. After grumpiness and almost getting pissed I talk to the person at the door through the raggedy intercom to find out it’s the crazy DHL man dropping off a package of mine. (Now, Im glad he has as crazy as he was to get me my sh*t)
In the package was my brand new business cards that I think are f*cking awesome (to get tubular on ya) So that put a smile on my face, also when I was looking through the package I’ve receive since I was gone, I got one from one my College soror sista, Lydia. It was a late Valentine gift and card, and the words on the card made me cry from joy. I was loved!!
So after half-way taking a nap I just decided to just get dressed. Now I already knew that I was going to be late to this Passion party that was supposed to start at 5Pm!!! Which is ridiculous in whatever city you live in to have a party at 5pm on a Friday night…. Its way TOO f*cking early… people gotta get off work, get through traffic and still get to their destination, beit their homes to change their clothes or just to get to the part itself. And that’s true in Chicago and definitely true in California. So I don’t know what the Hostess was thinking, oh yea I know, SHE WASN’T thinking at all!
And plus, I had already warned the hostess two nights previous that I knew I was going to be late because I would be waiting for my father to get off work to borrow his car. Now, this day, Friday…. My dad doesn’t get to me with the car until 6pm and this chick lives at least an hour east of where I was coming from. And there was HELLA traffic…. I mean, 20mi per hour, stop and go traffic for long stretches of road. And the chick kept blowing up my phone!!!!
Now, at this time, Im feeling all the energy from her and her people through her voice and her replies…. It was nothing I could do, I couldn’t do any magic to make the traffic disappear, I couldn’t have said “biddy-boppity-boo” and then be in her house all set up and everything. Naw, it didn’t happen that way. I got to the party 3 hours later (2 and a half in traffic) and I felt the frustration as soon as I got in the door. But I didn’t care, cuz in my mind I was thinking “Sh*t, my services are free!! Free!! They don’t pay for my gas….sh*t they don’t pay for sh*t of mine, they just sit there waiting to be entertained! Which Im happy to do for those that are grateful and receptive… not for the b*tches that’s just looking for the next come up. And if I feel like Im getting too much flax from these heifers then I won’t even unpack and I’ll get back In the car and drive right back home.”

So I didn’t play any passion games with them, I passed out the rest of the gifts I had left. And I presented just a bit of the stuff I had, and then I started taking orders…and still got over $300.00 in retail sales!! I still got ya da money, and for the travel and attitudes I was receiving, I had better had left with something instead of nothing. So all in all, I vented to my other college soror Lindsay all the way back home on my celly. I talked to my mom and some friends from college, even my sponsor. People that love me!
So now I'm done venting, now on to the positive side of things.
I’m ever grateful for these shining stars that live in my life. Thank you Universe for all the blessings you have given me and are giving me! You’re the best! I love Earth, Mother and Father. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Peace n blessings to all,
Kiwi

The broke & the fameless, by Smart Cookie

2007-02-08T19:16:00.000-08:00

So, tonight, I was able to sneak my way into Fashion Week. I know, I should be frontin' like Threescoops just has it like that, but we keep it real here. Luckily, I had a major hookup and was given an unused name on "THE LIST". I avoided the black girl with a list like the plague and went to the white woman, lol. Ya'll all know damn well the black woman would have busted me out and called me on my fake name. I mean, how many black women do you know named Elizabeth? After telling the people with "THE LIST", that I was Liz __________, a marketing director, while sipping my free Chambord Manhattan, and talking on my Blackberry (you have to play the part)I was able to get in. It's amazing how after loads of dramatics, the show is really only about ten minutes long. However, I had a great time, and enjoyed the taste of the "good" life. While at Custo Barcelona's show, I ran into Michelle Williams, who was extremely friendly, but really that's no surprise, you can't sing gospel and be a bitch; That clearly would be unethical. After snapping a few photographs, me and Keith (who will soon be contributing to Threescoops...stay tuned) were able to manuever our way to the third row!

But after ten short minutes of being rich and famous, I returned to my normal life, and the harsh reality of the fact that seriously, there weren't any black people there. And that is really quite upsetting that we are not rightly represented in an industry that we obviously have more than a great influence on. Ofcourse Diddy and Russell Simmons were at Zac Posen, but other then them, me and keith, there were only sprinkles of African-Americans there, and half of them were passing out flyers at the door. With that said, get on your hustle, and don't be taken advantage of. African-Americans have so much influence on fashion, music, pop culture, etc. If we were to just start taking ownership of our ideas and realizing our power, we could really turn the tables. We should be running things, and we can.

Sorry, I had to turn a simple hookup story into a lecture, but it's black history month, what do you expect.

Fight the Power!

ps. Kudos to Keith for manuevering the hell out of the tents, I owe you one!

Passionate Partying, by Cinnamon Spice

2007-02-07T10:31:00.000-08:00

Well well well, before I get started with my story I would like to introduce myself.
I am CinnamonSpice and Independent Sensual Consultant for Passion Parties, Inc.
You may ask yourself what is a Passion Party, well the corporate office would define it like this:

Passion Parties® is the premier sensual products, party-plan company in the United States and Canada. For more than a decade, our Passion Consultants™ have been enhancing the sexual relationships of our clients with sensual products designed to promote intimacy and communication between couples.

While I define it as a Girl's Night in party with a personalized theme where they laugh, giggle and order some sexual goodies for themselves or some they can share with their partner.

Now that, that part is done with I'll let you ladies in on my most recent Passionate night.
This past Saturday I had a Passion Party scheduled in Burbank, Ca and I also had promised my sponsor (another Consultant) that i would drop by to one of her P parties afterwards.
The party in Burbank was fabulous. As soon as I got there the ladies were alread drinking and snacking on shrimp cocktail. These ladies were so kind as to invite me to have dinner with them before we started the festivities. I obliged happily because the hostess had already put a tantalizing drink in my hand with penis ice cubes floating in it with the added bonus of a penis on my straw, hehhee. So I sat there ate with them, listened to their stories of previous nights they have partied together and got to see their personalities a bit. (which i found very beneficial for when it was time to present I knew what kind of audience i had, plus by that time all the ladies were nice and tipsy)
So I presented to them, they listened, we played some passionate games like "Complete the Willies" which is a penis draw off, the woman with the best drawing gets a prize. And at the end of the night these lovely ladies left me with a nice amount of money in my pocket.
SO I left with a smile and with 2 women willing to book a party with me in the near future.
Beautiful!

But then....dun dun dun duuuuuuuunnnnn.... I got in my dad's jeep to drive to the next party in LA (that i had promised to go and help at with my sponsor) and it was complete chaos.
First off, this party was a birthday themed Passion Party which was, for lack of a better term, GHETTO FABULOUS!! I mean, the house was tiny and in it was close to 50 or more women smashed into it. Why? Why were these women willingly smashed into this little crib? Well because the birthday girl had 2 strippers on the way and the ladies were nice and DRUNK by the time I had arrived. Nevermind the fact that my sponsor had got there late as well because her previous party went over time. We were there no longer then 20 mins when a fine ass black man and a attractive woman walks into the house (the strippers!) Now, any other time i would have been amped for some stripper fun and drinks, but i was tired and I was there on business...
and most of all I didn't know these women like that. Oh yea, the party also had men coming in, so it turned into a full-fledge party, which is optimal is this is what you're going for, but for a Passion Consultant, this is the wrong atmosphere to get people to sit down and listen then order something.....
The stripping started around 10:30 and went until 1:45am and longer, and i was asking myself why i was still there but i remembered that i was there to support my sponsor and plus I didn't want to leave her alone in this strange and chaotic place. Also the hostess(birthday girl) still wanted my sponsor to present and demo after all that time, which is F*cking ridiculous when our services are free to come out, we get our money off the sales and it was like 2 something in the damn morning. I was irritated, grumpy and tired and waiting for my sponsor to woman up and tell the hostess that it's time for us to go, 'give me a call when you wanna book another party where it is the right atmosphere and timing.'
Either way, we got out of there around 2:30 am and I got home around 3 or 3:30am and passed out into dreamland.

Now being that it is nearing Valentine's Day, I will leave you all with some positive and sensual goodies to ponder over:

Ladies, do your Kegels!!! To enhance love-making with even the smallest guy if you're doing your kegels you can internally tighten up on him to feel every bit of friction to get you to esctasy.
What is a Kegel? It is the muscle you use when you are holding back the intense urge to pee and there is no bathroom in sight. If you practice your kegels you'll be able to strengthen that muscle to the point of being able to hold him inside of your longer, be able to push him out, be able to control the sensation to something that makes you tingle and tremble all over.
How: Tighten your PC muscle (Kegel) and hold for a minute, and then release.
So practice your KEGELS!

Ladies, take care of yourself!
If you don't give enough love to yourself, how can you give to others, especially your partner.
Take time for baths, throw some Dead Sea Salts in their and soak away your blues (soak for 20-30mins) Massage yourself, surround yourself with pleasants scents and candles.
Recommended Salts: Masada Dead Sea Salts (www.masada.com) (Women's Formula, Cold & Flu, Skin Calming, Euclyptas, Lavender, and many more), RomantaTheraphy Sensuous Dead Sea Salts w/phermones (www.passionparties.com)

And on that note,
Peace n blessings sistas.
"Live the Spicy Life"

Paris Exposed.

2007-02-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

I know we are focusing on Black History Month, however, it's still important to keep up with current "pop cultural" events especially when they are regarding the N-word. First Kramer, now Paris Hilton...

It's funny how she talks about public schools when she barely has an elementary education.

Bad News Bears

2007-02-05T15:23:00.000-08:00

Too bad the Chicago Bears couldn't squeeze out a win yesterday. However, divalicious Prince did his thing while wearing a doo-rag (head scarf, they're all the same). As long as you are black, rain and perm don't mix no matter how famous or wealthy you may be. Needless to say, Prince tied the hair up and brought down the house. I admit, after the halftime show I popped in a movie, but I did manage to catch a rather cute commercial featuring Oprah and David Letterman. It's always interesting to see Oprah in everyday, "real life" situations, seeing that she is a ga-billionaire. It's rather hard to imagine that Oprah is leading a normal life, complete with mediocrity and mundance activities such as sitting on a 10+ year old sofa and stuffing her face with bbq beef sandwiches, while the Super Bowl plays on a 32" television resting on top of a broken floor model. A bit of an exaggeration I know, but you get the point...Oprah doesn't do the same things we do.

Hmmm...They actually don't look that bad together. I'm sure if Oprah was to get involved in an interracial relationship, all other black women would follow suit, lol.

Where's My Receipt? by Smart Cookie

2007-02-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

Earlier today I purchased Jill Scott's recent release, "Collaborations". Being a huge Jill Scott fan, with no hesitation I tossed the cd into my cart. I didn't even bother to look at the tracks; Jill Scott never puts out trash...so I thought. This cd is straight garbage! I came home from a long, hectic day, expecting to chill and relax to some new mellow tracks. Instead, I sat on my couch in shock, desperately skipping the tracks to find at least one hit single. "This can't be right," I said to myself, hoping that the bonus Target cd contained a completely new set of tracks. Unfortunately, it only included the footage of the making of another wack song. The only good tracks on the cd are "Daydreaming" and "Love Rain", both old tracks that we've all heard. I hate to do this to you, Jill, but I have to give "Collaborations" a 1/2 of star out of 5, and hope that in the future, you collaborate with different producers.

After wishing that I hadn't thrown away my receipt, or even opened the cd in the first place, my mistake of a purchase was redeemed by my other instinctual buy...Mos Def's "True Magic". After what I had just went through, I was immediately weary of what I was about to hear, especially after realizing that Mos Def's cd had no type of insert, and had appeared to be made on his personal computer. However, after listening to the cd, I can say that it's truely magical revolutionary music at it's best. And, I'm sure that Mos Def intentionally understated the "image" of the cd packaging to draw attention to what's most important...the actual music. Just in the packaging, Mos Def has snidely critiqued the state of music, black culture, etc. "True Magic" is a phenomenal cd; No bells and whistles, no collabos, just straight hotness. Every track can be listened from beginning to end. And ofcourse, Mighty Mos has a few singing tracks, which are more informed and modernized versions of Umi Says. If you are into revolutionary, underground hip hop, black panther-esque, music, then by all means pick this cd up. "True Magic" is an intelligently written, positively, conscious album. Pick this one up, it offers a great start to the month of February. And I give it 5 stars and the fist, POWER TO THE PEOPLE!

A Taste of Black History, by Chocolate Therapy

2007-02-03T20:30:00.001-08:00

In honor of Black History Month, I wanted to inform those who do not know, and remind those who do, about Nat Turner. On October 2, 1800, Turner was born on a plantation in Virginia to his African-born slave mother. At the time his slave master’s name was Samuel Turner, hence Nat’s last name. Turner was known as an intelligent person and was seen as a prophet by his people; He had several visions which led him to believe that a slave revolt was necessary, including signs in the heavens and lights in the sky.

In February of 1831, an eclipse of the sun was the sign in the heavens Nat Turner needed to commence with his revolt. He then told 4 others he trusted of his plan. On August 13th of the same year, an atmospheric disturbance where the sun appeared bluish-green was the go-ahead final sign, and on August 21st Turner and six of his men met in the woods to eat and make plans. At 2:00 a.m., they headed to their master’s house killing the entire family in their sleep. They continued throughout the neighborhood going from house to house freeing slaves and killing any white person they came in contact with. They eventually amounted over 40 slaves and free blacks to assist with the rebellion, many on horseback.

On August 22nd, word had gotten out concerning the rebellion, and Turner and his rebels were confronted by whites causing them to scatter. After more encounters with whites, several rebels were captured. Turner was able to escape and hide near his master’s farm, but was eventually captured on October 30th. He was tried and sentenced to execution on November 11th of that year, in which he was hanged, skinned and dismembered by whites for souvenirs. In the aftermath, close to 200 black people were eventually accused of having a connection to the rebellion and/or were hanged or murdered by white mobs. In the end, the Turner revolt led to the killings of at least 55 white men, women and children.

Information provided by http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/aia/part3/3p1518.html.

PROFILE: Wangechi Mutu, by Smart Cookie

2007-02-03T06:55:00.000-08:00

Wangechi Mutu, a Kenyan-born artist based in New York, and Master's graduate of Yale School of Art, makes luscious yet grotesque pictures of female figures. Her painted and collaged works serve as social critiques on contemporary society’s obsession with physical appearance.

33-year-old Mutu is an internationally recognized artist. Her work belongs to the permanent collections of the MOMA in New York, the Whitney Museum, and the Studio Museum of Harlem. Don't count on purchasing one of her masterpieces for yourself. Her paintings can command as much as $40,000!

However, it wasn't too long ago that Mutu couldn't afford to work on any other material besides paper. Upon finishing her master's at Yale, a school that supplied all materials, studio space and tools, Mutu was faced with the reality of being a recent graduate with low funds; a starving artist. But paper, ink, and pencil carried Mutu a looooong way. After a studio visit with a very influential and well-connected curator, Mutu's luck changed dramatically. Her work was put into an exhibit at the Studio Museum of Harlem and the response to her work was extraordinary.

Now, Wangechi Mutu is living the life: She has been able to purchase a brownstone in which she can live and work, her career has taken off, and most importantly, she is now able to be financially independent by pursuing her passion. Wangechi Mutu is truely an inspiration to recent graduates who can't seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel. She proves that with a little patience, determination, and faith, things will eventually work out just fine.

Rum Raisin Presents: The Volcano

2007-02-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

I know the SuperBowl is this weekend, and most of ya'll will be at semi-triflin party. Meaning you will be eating "catered" chicken from your local chicken joint, stale chips, and babysitting a Miller High Life (yucko) cuz someone was too cheap to get Heineken. Kick things up a notch and make a Volcano. It will be an explosive party...

Ingredients:
1 bottle sparkling wine or Champagne
4 cups cranberry juice
2 quarts orange juice
2 quarts orange sherbet, softened
Vodka
15 pounds dry ice chips

Directions:
Pour sparkling wine into a large bowl. Add cranberry and orange juice. Scoop sherbet into bowl until it has produced a nice coating over the top. Add Vodka.

Drop in pieces of dry ice for volcano steam effect, but WARNING: No one should put dry ice in their mouth.

WOOF.

2007-01-31T22:59:00.000-08:00

MOVIE SCOOP: For Thy Love, by Smart Cookie

2007-01-31T20:18:00.000-08:00

GENRE: Drama

SYNOPSIS: A story about the search for love in all the wrong places. When Belinda decides to leave her boyfriend after tolerating five years of sexual frustration, she falls straight into the arms of a smooth operator who works as a trainer at the gym. She thinks she's landed in paradise but it all turns to hell when he reveals his shady sexual lifestyle - and doles out more than she can handle. Now her search for love and adventure has taken an ominous turn that will change her forever.

REVIEW: This movie is a combination of an Uncut video and a chitlin circuit play. However, I enjoyed this movie for it's irony. Trust me, you won't be prepared for the ending. This movie sheds light on the stereotypical "nice guy" and leads the viewer to question the idea of forgiveness. Though the film tends to border between low budget and home video, it's lack of funding works in it's favor. This movie is good to watch on a Saturday, after you've finished cleaning your house or running a few weekend errands. Not too sure if the guys would enjoy this one, they are bound to yell a couple of "fuck that's" or "hell naw's", but I, myself had that reaction on a few parts as well. Needless to say this movie will cause some debate amongst your crew. A decent movie at least sparks up conversation and this film leaves a lot to be discussed.

I was able to find this DVD in Walmart, but you can purchase it for around 15 bucks on www.image-entertainment.com, or even check Amazon.

Black Power, by Smart Cookie

2007-01-31T17:36:00.000-08:00

Black History Month has begun, so get ready for the cheesy Coca Cola commericals, the McDonald's tribute to Martin Luther King, and the occasional Black History Month Stamp. We all know that "our" month doesn't get the proper attention. But we promise to give this month the attention it deserves. I'll kick it off with a little history...

WEEKLY WORD: MURSE

2007-01-30T18:42:00.000-08:00

MURSE - A man purse. They are usually in the form of a fancy messenger bag, a planner, or an oversized "wallet". The perfect accessory for the extra metro...not really. If your man is carrying a murse, you might want to make sure he isn't going to dark alleys at night to snuggle with Tyrone. Any man carrying a murse is questionable. Unless openly gay, most murse carriers deny the fact that what they are carrying resembles a purse, and will use such a line as, "I have too many things to carry".

Ex. Steve attempted to pass his murse for a planner, but planners don't have compartments for your keys and cologne.

I'm 2 Grown 4 Games...SIKE!, by Pistachio

2007-01-30T16:50:00.000-08:00

Last night I was harassed in the internet crack house...MySpace. Yes, I'm addicted like everyone else, and it's beyond a guilty pleasure. All of us are guilty of putting our best foot forward on our pages, boasting about our "achievements", both personal and professional. The former hamburger flippers are now party promoters, and former hoes are now "models". Former fat asses and fugs send you friend requests for "Look at me now bitch" purposes, and the snooty suburbanites set their profiles to private. There are also the Miss Jenkins', the anonymous floaters without profile pictures who just want to get the inside scoop. Every other hour they're online, hanging out of their imaginary windows to confirm the juicy gossip. And how can I forget the Z-list rappers? Quick to put flyers in your comments and quick to upload their demos. MySpace should really be more selective on who gets a Music page. And lastly, you have the thirsty guys looking for MySpace Jump Offs.

Now let me get back to my harassed on the internet story....

Last night I logged on with the intention of changing my layout and checking my messages. Much to my surprise I found a message with the subject line reading, "Bitch". Slightly amused, yet slightly irritated, I opened the message, which read as follows:

Bitch,

Why the fuck is ___________ in your top ate? You ain't even cute.

Ate? My point exactly. Being the mature woman that I am, I should've just ignored the message. For one thing the guy that she was referring to is simply a college buddy. Secondly, I don't pick fights with those who have learning disabilities. But I'm only 23 and have room to make mistakes, plus she basically called me fugly, so I responded:

Bitch,

Instead of keeping tabs on me, you need to be getting a hot oil treatment for that broom. Is your mother a scarecrow? ________ and I went to S-C-H-O-O-L together. Maybe you should consider going....application deadlines are usually around February "ate".

I didn't receive a response, and I don't plan on it. I did, however, make a point to tell __________ to check his hoe. Girls, it's time to get more sophisticated with how you are trying to catch your man up. Get his password and work with concrete evidence. Don't just attack random women.

I think I have found my new anthem...

The Last Word: ASSumptions, by Chocolate Therapy

2007-01-30T15:15:00.000-08:00

You know, it’s funny…it seems that the people who know the least about a subject are the most outspoken. Now don’t get me wrong, I have strong opinions about many issues, but when you talk about my period you are entering “No Man’s Land” (literally). Guys, especially guys in their 20’s, think they somehow have a wealth of knowledge that no one else has figured out yet, and constantly feel the need to let everyone know how things should be. Well, I’m going to let you guys in on a secret: You are not doing/saying anything that hasn’t been done before. With that being said, why do you guys always feel the need to challenge Mother Nature? Things have been this way for years, and you just can’t grasp a simple concept. Listed below are my Points to Ponder…

If a female is using her period as an excuse not to mess around, take that as a hint. Either she doesn’t like you or she is messing around with someone else. Stop trying to track when her next cycle is and focus on why she don’t want your ass!

Just because you had Biology class doesn’t mean a thing. When I was in high school, most of the guys were too worried about the girl sitting next to them to even pay attention to what the teacher was saying. Most science books are written by men anyways, and last time I checked men don’t have periods. That’s like me writing a book on jock itch!

My period won’t mess up your day if you would just stay out of my way. If you know I’m going to be in a bad mood why even talk to me? Why would you say “Guess what!! I found $20 today!” when you know I have been lying in the bed trying to fight cramps and bloating. My response is likely to be a piercing, “are you kidding me?” stare or a chide remark. Save your good news for when I tell you I am hungry and would like to go out to dinner.

At least a woman president would know how to express her emotions better than previous president’s have. Men always try to play hardball. Just tell the other person how you feel, plain and simple, and there will be no need to try to decipher silly “man laws.” And hey, what better time to do it than when it’s that time of the month? The emotions will be raw and honest, so there will be no need to request clarity.

When was the last time you were unable to fit the pants you wore last week due to involuntary weight gain (and no, beer bellies do not count)? When was the last time you had uncontrollable cravings for sweets or your stomach cramped up so bad that you could hardly walk? Yeah…that’s what I thought. All guys have to worry about is hereditary baldness and putting on clean underwear daily…and sometimes you can’t even do that!

Guys, we are tired of you making ASSumptions on how we are supposed to act and feel. It only happens once a month, so just deal with it. Either stay out of our way or sit there in complete silence. Anything you say can or will be used against you when the crimson tide is over.

HIS TWO CENTS: Periods...Stop Using Them As Excuses

2007-01-27T20:43:00.000-08:00

Ladies,

There are so many times when we just wonder what's going on in the heads of the opposite sex. We find ourselves over analyzing in many situations, which inevitably leads us to make assumptions on the male perspective. Assume no more! This year we are going to give you "His Two Cents", which will feature a blurb, interview, article, etc. from an anonymous male. Let me just warn you now...the topics are very controversial and are bound to cause some serious debates. And we encourage you to respond...you know a Black woman always get's the last word. With that said let the games begin...

PERIODS...STOP USING THEM AS EXCUSES...Written By Anthony
My friends and I were doing our usual roasting of each other last week, when we randomly start discussing how girls try to milk the shit out of their periods and use them as an excuse for everything. It makes no damn sense; every time something goes wrong a lot of females will blame it on their "Michael Redd" (inside joke). While a lot of females say we don’t try to understand them during this 5-7 day process, just hear us out for a min...

Points to ponder

1) C'mon it’s just a period, it can’t be that bad...S.A. Davis just had a period last week, and it didn’t even slow him down. You all act like nuclear warfare just bust out all in your insides. Relax Grasshopper!

2) Ladies, we went through biology too, that shit aint lasting as long as you try to make it out to be. Be a woman and just tell the guy you don’t want to sleep with him...

3) Do not use the period as an excuse that you can’t do nothing sexual. Are you bleeding out your mouth? No, that’s what I thought, SET OUT THAT AWESOME JAWSOME!

4) Your period should not mess up my good day! If I got a promotion to work, found $20 in my pocket, or someone saved my life, don’t bring my high down with your bitching and moaning. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!

5) This is why the WNBA playoffs last no longer than three games a series! Could you imagine game 7 and Lisa Leslie couldn’t play due to that time of the month...plain foolishness...

6) This also the reason why we probably couldn’t have a woman president. She would be signing peace treaties with everybody off emotion, or start war, cause another president called her fat!

Some of these things were serious, some were jokes. I would like to hear everyone’s comments on this, guys don’t be scared, this is an issue that we all talk about! Ladies especially, I’ll probably get cussed out in 3 languages but so what! Holla at me!

Email: Contact@threescoopsonline.com

If Looks Could Kill...

2007-01-27T10:09:00.000-08:00

SHEEEEE'S BAAAAACK! Congrats go out to Serena Williams for quite frankly, whoopin' some serious ass last night at the Australian Open. She easily won her third trophy 6-1, 6-2. Her snooty opponent, Sharapova really didn't stand a chance from jump, but after hitting Serena with an overhead in the first set, she was doomed for failure. You don't hit a black woman and get away with it! Serena proceeded to paint the lines with fireballs; Sharapova couldn't even get her racquet on the ball...She was swinging at air.

Serena started the tournament lookin' a bit rusty, but she came through when it counted most. Kudos to the first black woman to dominate the tennis game while wearing a Nike booty dress. Also if you were able to peep her warmup attire, you should have notice that Serena has a Nike Big Body Bag! Unfortuantely, the Nike bag isn't for sale, but you can scoop up her tennis dress for $100. And guess what? The dress is called the 'Serena Disruptive Dress', lol, go figure.

GO SERENA!

Status Check, by Smart Cookie

2007-01-18T08:08:00.000-08:00

In my younger years I was quite the Tomboy. I wouldn't be caught dead carrying a purse of any kind. Well, I did get caught up in the ever so popular Coach wallet phase of the 90's, but take notation of the the word, 'wallet'. Now that I'm in my mid-twenties, I've come to realize that I have more than a divalicious liking toward huge purses. Fashionable, overly large purses portruding with a Scoops daily essentials (cell phone, Ipod, Carmex, lotion, etc.) just reeks of status and importance. Here in Scoopsville, large purses are known as "Big Bodies". Just like when your parents take the big body car to church or special events, the big body bag lives by the same rules. The big body serves so many purposes it's ridiculous, here are a few:

1. No matter how busted you are looking on a lazy Saturday, i.e., your favorite raggedy sweats and head scarf, as long as you throw on your big body you can walk into any store looking like a star.

2. You never have to buy overpriced popcorn and snacks at the movies ever again! Big bodies allow you to damn near fit a Foreman grill inside, so you can stop by your nearest corner store and stuff your favorite movie goodies into the bag and have a feast on the cheap.

3. If any snobby store attendant tries to get snippy with you as if you can't afford something, all you have to do is use your big body as leverage and say,"B--- did you happen to glance at this bag I'm carrying? I can buy you and this raggedy ass store!" Indeed, you may only have enough money to buy a small fry on the dollar menu, but who'd ever guess?

4. Random unwanted encounters. Dammit, here comes Aquanetta, the gossip queen from your old high school. Luckily, you just came from the hair salon and you are carrying your big purse. Now the only gossip that Aquanetta can relay is,"Dang, gurrrl, I saw so and so in the store and she was looking like a kept woman. She must be dating a drug dealer or something." Now, Who doesn't want that kinda gossip?

Ok, now that you've completed Big Body Bag 101, here are a few cute purses that I've recently come across. Right now, I'm feelin' satchel style bags. Satchels are classy and sophistcated, perfect for the 20-somethin' year old. Let's start with the DKNY Mixed Media Satchel, priced at $160 (Shown at the top of page). This bag is precious. It will make for a good business meeting purse. Throw this bag on with a nice pant suit and heels and you will walk into the office looking like the HBIC.

If you are the HBIC and makin' major paper, scoop up the MICHAEL, by Michael Kors Harness Flannel Satchel priced at $398. Me being fairly (smirk) artistic and not afraid of a little color and preppiness, find this bag to be quite appealing. I think this bag is perfect for the creative director. I understand that everyone doesn't have that salaried job yet, but you can still purchase a big body for cheap. Take for example, the BP Accessory Network 'Erin' Satchel priced at $20. This bag comes in black, red, grey, and patent leather. It's simplistic with a hint of vintage and can easily be spruced up by tying a fancy scarf or sparkly charm around one of the hooks. This is a nice big body for a lightweight, fun outing, like bowling, or a boredom trip to Target.

All of the purses featured in the article can be found on Nordstrom's website. Happy purse shopping!

WEEKLY WORD: HURTIN'

2007-01-17T17:24:00.000-08:00

Hurtin: An overwhelming willingness or need to obtain what you want. A deep yearning or eagerness. For maximum effectiveness, hurtin’ should be followed by ass.

Example: Carla’s hurtin’ ass couldn’t wait till dinner.

Happy belated Birthday, Martin!

2007-01-17T14:27:00.001-08:00

I know you are thinking, "How in the hell did they miss Martin Luther King's birthday?" I know, I know, it's a damn shame, but we've been busy. Anyway, I hope everyone celebrated the occasion by doing something meaningful and productive. And I don't mean sleeping in and watching Maury's millionth paternity test show. I'm sure Martin wouldn't approve of such of thing, just watch the following clip! Enjoy!

Tech Scoop: Have a Flashback, by Buttercup

2007-01-12T17:11:00.000-08:00

Last week I came to a revelation: Ms. PacMan is a bitch.

My younger brother and his friends had gotten in the habit of chillin' at my new crib to use their Xbox and Playstation on my new Plasma. And I’m sure any coherent female can guess what game they play...that damn Madden. I really don't understand how guys can play the same game over and over again, with the same enthusiasm they had when they first purchased it. I attempted at living out the saying, "If you can't beat them, join them", but with my video game console experience consisting of the Atari 7800 and Nintendo, I didn't have a clue what the hell I was doing. I remember laughing hysterically when my mother made her first attempt at Super Mario Bros. Like most parents who are not tech-savvy, she thought if she turned her body to the right, as she held the controller, Mario would magically mimic her movements. Well, somehow, I must've caught the "grownup disease" because I was totally clueless with that stupid football game. My brother and his friends laughed and laughed, and I admit, I was a little embarrassed, but they were clearly in MY house, on MY television, and they would not get the best of me...I had a plan.

My brother and his crew of dimwits were constantly talking about how easy the old video games were. But, from my memory, the majority of those who beat Super Mario had a Game Genie, and I have yet to meet someone who has beaten Donkey Kong. Which got me to thinking, "hmmmm....All that trash talk and I bet their dumbasses can't even play Atari". Immediately, I jetted to my parents house and rummaged through some old boxes in the basement. I finally found my old Atari with a variety of games. After taking me nearly a century to figure out how to hook up my Atari to a brand new television, I was ready to brush up on my skills. At least I thought I was ready until I realized that I had to blow on the cartridges like 20 times until I could get the it to work, but after more than a little dust, things worked out. And like I predicted...the games were impossible. One of my girls mentioned how hard Ms. Pac Man was, but hard was an understatement. Ms. Pac Man had me cussin' out her and every single ghost on the screen. "Run BITCH!" I repeatedly screamed as I was tempted to bust out with a 2-year old tantrum. I then became obssesed and determined to outsmart "the man" also known as the computer. All this led to an addiction and I eventually tried out all of my old games. The old Atari is back and is the new crack...Hell to the naw!

With my new habit, my brother came over like usual, but things would be different. After calling my games everything from A-tracks to hockey pucks, I finally challenged my brother and his friends to a game of football....Atari football. And guess what? I got in that ass like toilet paper! And I realized that these poor children are being too spoiled by these new games. The old games required work. There weren't any fancy controllers...just a joystick with one button, and it was up to you to learn how to maneuver and tap that button to do tricks. There weren't any cheat codes...just three lives and you had better make it work.

Things are much different now. I am a respected video gamer. I taught my brother that, you may be able to beat anyone in the latest Madden, but you really ain't shit if you can't beat something as "easy" as Pac Man. You have to know how to crawl before you can walk.

If you can't dig out your old Atari, you can definitely find the old ones in the original boxes, with many games on Ebay. Or if you would like an improved throwback, then you can visit Atari.com and purchase the Atari Flashback at only $19.99. This is a great toy to have, and you can sit back after work and have a little fun. Also, if you have some disrespectful know-it-all siblings, this is a great lesson teaching tool. Additionally, if you have a boyfriend/husband/etc., use the Atari as a cute bargaining tool. Bet on a game of Donkey Kong or Frogger to get a candlelit dinner, massage, or those cute earrings you've been scopin' out.

Yo, don't sleep on Tetris or Duck Hunt!

Highfalutin Finery, by Coffebean

2007-01-12T14:40:00.000-08:00

The manicured hand flossing the engagement ring bling--The Jimmy Choo pumps matched perfectly with the “new money” handbag. Its Sex in the City meets Girlfriends mixed with Beauty Shop, served with a double dose of Toni Childs (Girlfriends). There are no out-dated Jet Magazines. The latest bootleg is not being played. Booster lady and sock man won’t be pedaling their products here.

Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada are frequent cohabitants of the women who are serviced by my upscale salon in downtown Chicago. The multi-cultural staff and clientele bring an ambiance to the salon that is not present at the Flare for Hair or the Dominican Hair Emporium. The hair dryers suspended from the ceiling, the hardwood floors, and the exposed duct work let me know that this salon has the potential to be bourgeois-central! The career women, the kept women, and the on the grind women, sashay into this establishment with one point intended, to get their hair done, or is it?

No Applebottom sisters, no do-rag wearing, not even Air Max covered feet. No current gossip, celebrity or personal. A Euro-imported receptionist greets you at the door. It is rigid and stuffy! A rolling of the eyes and a salient snub if you dare enter the salon with your mane tamed by the black woman’s holy grail—the do rag.

Perhaps an idle mind is the devil's playground. But my idleness brought questioning. Questioning about the women who are serviced by this establishment. Is there an unspoken assumption that only a “certain” type of black woman can patron this salon? The college educated women, the women who married up, the women who are successful in their careers. Yes, the salon will impress you with the speedy-individualized service (even on a Saturday). Not to mention, the possibility to network with other career women. The salon has a Who’s Who clientele—another bragging point to mention to ones pretentious and snobbish acquaintances. Some women come for the service, some for the status. Snooty, stuck-up, supercilious: It is a premier salon that yields outstanding results and retains a clientele of women with questionable motives for patronage.

Two Weeks Later,

Two weeks later I am back. It’s a brutal 15 degree December Day in Chicago. I pull out my one of a kind, floor length, great coat. I stuff my black leather mini-pumps into my bag and race out of the door with by Black Gucci clinging to my free arm. Its salon day and it has taken more time than normal to get ready. As I race out of the house, I question myself; am I becoming one of those women I am writing about?

mmmmm....good, by Smart Cookie

2007-01-12T13:25:00.000-08:00

I'm currently in Chicago for my break, and ofcourse my trip wouldn't be complete without a 5 piece with mild sauce from Harold's...

Can I Getcha Number? by Pistachio

2007-01-11T10:17:00.000-08:00

It's a typical Saturday night at the club. I'm enjoying my overpriced martini when the most hideous creature sits right next to me. A total fug...a fuzzy three-week old cornroll havin', old spice stankin', cat daddy suit and fake bling wearin' fug. Ofcourse, my girl is a few feet away talkin' to the fine Metrosexual brotha, and i'm stuck with someones uncle. I purposely try to act uninterested, but the shit doesn't work, and a funky mix of dookie breath and Winterfresh blows in my direction as he says,"Hey there, can I have your number?" Unfortunately, it's not as easy to say no as you would think. I could bluntly say "no", and risk getting cursed out and embarrassed. Guys are startin' to get straight ignant when it comes to rejection, talkin' bout, "You uppity bitch! I ain't really want yo' number anyway" etc. etc. you catch my drift. Or I could lie and say I have a boyfriend, but ofcourse that doesn't work anymore. Most guys don't even care, and still want your number...damn. Last, but not least, you could always give out a fake number, but now everyone has a damn cell phone, and guys are bold enough to call you right in the club to make sure that you've given out the correct number. And don't get caught up, you will once again be cursed out in the club. Or you have those guys who can't even take a hint, and will actually walk up to you and say, "excuse me, I think you gave me the wrong number" As if the shit was an accident...what a dumbass. But girlies, there is a God. There is someting calleld a rejction hotline, 617-861-3962. You simply give out this number instead of your own, and later on at night when the fug tries to give you a call, he will hear a humorous recording stating that you are not interested. For a phone number specific to your area, simply visit http://www.rejectionhotline.com/. This site is crazy too, you can even get business cards made with this number to pass out to fugs! It's pure genius if you ask me! I'm sure with this piece of information your trip to the club this weekend will be a little more enjoyable. Shut 'em down!

WEEKLY WORD: UNPROTECTED SLEEP

2007-01-11T09:02:00.000-08:00

1. Unprotected Sleep
Turning off your alarm clock and immediately going back to sleep; risking not waking up for a job, class, or other daily task.

I'm extremely lucky I didn't miss my meeting this morning after having 30 minutes of Unprotected Sleep.

Rum Raisin Presents: The Razzle Dazzle

2007-01-11T08:38:00.000-08:00

Girlies, no more radically druken nights, it's the age of the slow buzz. The Razzle Dazzle allows you to be a little tipsy while keeping the drink tasty.

"Keep it light and you will still enjoy your night"
- said by a drink babysitter

RAZZLE DAZZLE

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups frozen rasberries
1 (12-ounce) can frozen concentrated pink lemonade or rasberry lemonade
1 bottle (750ml) Chardonnay
3 cups lemon lime soda (recommended: Sprite)
1/2 cup Cognac

Directions:
In a large pitcher, combine all ingredients and stir. Refrigerate for 1 hour.

5 means 7, by Merry Cherry

2007-01-10T07:32:00.000-08:00

It had been at least 30 minutes and I was still waiting in her driveway. She said that she was walking towards the front door like 20 minutes ago. And she said she would be waiting outside when I called to say I was on my way, like an hour ago. I was just about to lay on the horn when she finally comes out of the house. She’s talking on the cell phone, sippin’ on a Capri Sun, and holdin’ a plate of breakfast wrapped in aluminum foil.

"Look at this bitch," I mumble to myself...I’m pissed.

After hanging up the phone, she says, “Sorry gurrrrl, I couldn’t find anything to wear.” She completely ignores the fact that while she couldn’t find an outfit, she managed to find enough time to cook herself an IHOP breakfast sampler with pancakes. After devouring a piece of bacon she says, “You need to step on it! We are going to be late.” My patience…gone. My stomach grumblin’…since I bypassed cooking myself breakfast so I could be ON TIME. We are stuck in traffic and she is smackin’ on food, telling me how to drive, making radio station demands, and we are clearly going to be late as hell to work. But rather than drop her ass off at the nearest bus station, I take a deep sigh and ask for a hash brown. For she is permanently in the carpool because she is my friend…my triflin’ friend.

We all have one. You gave her your old television for free, and she complains about how small it is. She brings last night’s leftovers to the pot luck. You are in a rush, yet she insists on waiting 30 minutes until the egg roll sample at Sam’s Club is finished cooking. She’ll take a hookup on a VIP pass to any club, even, a 50+ supper club. She’s never been on time in her life, yet the one day you are running a little late, she's majorly bitchin’. Always speaking before thinking, always on CPT, always thirsty for some free shit…She’s your triflin’ friend.

Unfortunately, a “triflin’ friend” is set in their ways for life, and cannot be changed. But there are a few things you can do to avoid the effects of their actions…

5 means 7. If you have to pick her up before you go out, you must tell her to be ready like 2 hours before you need to be at your destination. This way, she can bullshit all day long, but you will still be on time. For a more severe case of CPT, in addition to lying about the time, you must also go inside of her house and wait rather than sit in the car. Now you can see firsthand what she is doing and she has no room to get off track.

Just ask for money and take the initiative. You know she is going to drink a few Corona’s before bringing the 12-pack to the Super Bowl party. So why are you depending on her to get the liquor? You need to just pick up the party stuff yourself and have her give you the money for it. If she also has “never pay you back syndrome”, then you need to get the money up front before you go to the store.

Be selective. Stop taking every flyer that advertises a free party, and don’t lay any coupons or these types of things around in your house or car. Especially the ones that you can really throw in the garbage. You know if she sees it, she is going to want to go. She will want to drive an hour out to get that free 12 oz. drink from select Burger King’s. She will want to use that free pass to the 16 and older club that your younger sister left in the car. If you don’t want to go through the drama, throw that stuff away. Or at least only keep around the things that you wouldn’t mind doing. I’ll drive 15-30 minutes to get my Victoria’s Secret free panty, who wouldn’t? But there’s a fine line between good and bad free stuff.

The triflin’ friend can really work your nerves, but you gotta love ‘em. Just use these tips to get you through the rough times and you should be just fine.

Monday's Reserved, by Smart Cookie

2007-01-09T12:30:00.000-08:00

This January brings in fresh new sitcoms and reality shows. Mondays are particularly good because...New York is in the mutha-f*ckin' house! I knew this show would live up to its expectations when the intro included New York lighting a cigarette and moisturizing her ashy legs with Vaseline...pure comedy at its finest. Coffee Bean put me onto New York's mom's bogus weave. Somehow, I didn't notice her invisible hairline. She looks bald, it's a little creepy.

Ofcourse, this show is full of coonery, but it's a Scoops guilty pleasure. You can catch the HBIC on I Love New York at 10/9 c on VH1.

Another decent show is Lincoln Heights on ABC Family. Lincoln Heights is about a young cop and his POSITIVE black family who move back to his old neighborhood to be bombarded with different struggles. This show comes on at 7/6 c and is something you can watch with the entire family.

Immediately after watching a laid-back family sitcom you can test your gay-dar with Lifetimes new game show, Gay, Straight, or Taken? which airs at 8/7 c. In this game, a single woman must go out with three men and figure out which one is gay, straight, and taken. If she is to choose the straight and single man, they will win a trip. However if she choses incorrectly, then man that she mistakenly chooses as straight and single will win the trip for him and his boyfriend/girlfriend. I must admit, I was stumped on a couple of the men. This is a Scoops MUST WATCH. I'm sure many of you have come across a handsome man, but weren't sure if he was gay, straight, or taken. Well, this show will definitely improve your ability to detect the available and straight man. Also, Lifetime airs two different episodes back-t0-back, so you get double the fun trying pick out who's who.

Honorable Mention: Jennifer Lopez is the Executive Producer of MTV's new reality series, Dancelife. This show is basically about real world dancers trying to make it in Hollywood. It Premieres next Monday, Jan. 15th at 10:30/9:30 c. This show looks pretty good, at least good enough to watch as you eat dinner or do some work on the labtop.

WTF: Can anyone tell me what has happened to Girlfriends??? They are showing so many re-runs, I am beginning to believe that they have officially taken the show off air. They really should have taken this show off last season and ended on a good note. However, the reruns are always MUST SEES.

Reserve Monday nights, relax, and have fun!

Put Your Personality on a Diet, by Milky "Weigh"

2007-01-09T12:01:00.000-08:00

I'm sure most of us have been on a diet since the "freshman fifteen". When you have to stay up past 11 to do homework, who is really thinking, "Let me grab a broccoli pop to snack on"? With those of us who are working 40 hours a week, and getting home in the late evening, i'm pretty sure no one actually cooks a healthy meal when they walk in the door. Hell, I don't even cook. The domestic gene missed me completely. Despite the slight setbacks, I was able to reach my ideal weight by acquiring a maintainable lifestlye, inclusive of both diet and exercise. Today, I would like to talk about diet.

My friends and I found that certain personality traits of ours were causing us to overeat. So we were able to look at our individual situations and come of with successful ways to change our bad eating habits. Here they are...

1. You are impatient

If you are impatient you are less likely to keep track of what you are eating. As a result, you are probably consuming more than you think. Stop eating dinner while you are talking on the phone, chatting on aol, watching television, and typing a paper. Eat your dinner without distractions and allow yourself to notice when you feel full. How many times have you opened a bag a chips as you were doing other things, and when you finally decided to close the bag, you realized there were only crumbs left? How many of you ate the crumbs and kept it movin'? Slow down! If eating slowly feels awkward, that's proof that you are in some type of hurry or frenzy.

2. You are easily discouraged

I used to have trouble sticking to a diet if I couldn't see measurable results right away. If I was eating Subway, while my friends were eating gyros then I had better see a six-pack forming. To rid myself of that mentality, I started setting small, reachable goals. Rather than telling myself that I could no longer eat fast food, I only allowed myself to have fast food on the weekends. Instead of drinking at least 2 glasses of pop/juice on a daily basis, I vastly increased my water intake. I would require myself to drink a glass of water before I could drink a glass of juice or pop. Small achievements increase your confidence in yourself and motivation. Stop feeling guilty because you cannot eat salad everyday. Start by having a salad twice a week. Start small, and slowly increase the intensity of your diet. You have to create a diet for yourself that is realistic.

3. You are social

My best friend is a social butterfly. But she was relying on food , as well as friends, for comfort, so she would cave in to all of her cravings. If there was a day in which she was bored with nothing to do, she would eat. I have experienced this myself. There's nothing on television on a Saturday, all of your friends are busy, so you are left to sit and channel surf. All of sudden those Twizzlers in the cabinet start calling your name, then the Doritos, then the Sunkist in the fridge, and so on. Keep all of your favorite snacks out of the house, so when you do indulge, you are forced to go to the grocery store. If you have to drive to the gas station, then drive to the grocery store for one measely bag of Doritos, chances are you will just settle for the pretzels in the cabinet.

MOVIE SCOOP: Motives, by Smart Cookie

2007-01-09T10:53:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed that in most big pictures, there might indeed be a black actor/actress in the film, but they are always the sidekick of the white star actor/actress? They are simply put there to enhance the white character. This is done by some form of degradation of the black character, done by using them for comic relief, the charity case, etc. Case in point: Blood Diamonds, a great film, however, the emphasis is put on Leonardo Di'Caprio. Or, let me bring out some old examples... Let's take a look at Regina King's past roles in Clueless 3, and Miss Congeniality 2. We all know how great an actress Regina King is, however in those films, she is the stereotypical "Angry black woman" used solely to enhance the image of Alicia Silverstone and Sandra Bullock.

How can an African American woman possibly relate to these films? Yeah, there might indeed be an African American actress in the film, but how can we identify with a character that is basically "shuckin' and jivin"?

In some of her previous essays, Bell Hooks, a black feminist and astounding film critic, writes about what she calls the "Oppositional Gaze". To put it simply, the oppositional gaze is when a black woman cannot identify with a film and its characters, and rather than enjoy the film, is forced to look at the film in a critical manner. I don't want to get into psychoanalysis, in which the topic of the oppositional gaze resides but just think about your past experiences at the movies. How did you feel, for example, watching a movie like Monster's Ball versus watching Boomerang? I'm sure when watching Monster's Ball, which was a pretty good film, you were on guard, but when watching Halle in Boomerang, you are able to just relax and enjoy the film.

Every new movie that comes out about African Americans tends to be a little stereotypical and cliché these days...We never get the good romance films, chick flicks, and dramas. With a few exceptions, we seem to be stuck in a rut filled with comedies, inner-city school drama, dance offs, thug life, and musician's biographies. But don't worry, there are a plethora of underground, aka low budget films, as well as old skool films that can fulfill your need for good, entertaining cinema that doesn't play off the stereotypical and/or negative aspects of the black community for the economical gains of the majority.

I, Smart Cookie and Coffee Bean will be giving our movie reviews of films that are on DVD/VHS and available for purchase. I personally like dramas and romance flicks, but Coffee Bean tends to lean toward more historical films. But between the both of us, we guarantee your movie collection will be on point. This brings me to my first movie review: Motives with Shemar Moore and Vivica Fox.

GENRE: Thriller, Drama

PLOT SYNOPSIS: Motives is an edgy thriller that centers around Emery Simms, a highly educated and successful business tycoon who happens to be married to the quintessential wife Constance. Things go dangerously awry when the thrill seeking Emery engages in an adulterous fling with the wildly free-spirited and exotic Allanah. Timing couldn't be any worse when the politics of high society, shady business deals, bad press, and a violent murder collide, they threaten to destroy more than just his shaky marriage. As police probe into his situation, they uncover a labyrinth of deception, agendas and motives, where the stakes are enormous and nothing is what it seems.

REVIEW: This movie offers no easy answers, I'm sure that you will not figure out the plot by the end of the film. So you can tell your one "know it all" friend to shut the hell up, when they are constantly hollering at the end, "I knew it, I knew it, didn't I tell you? Didn’t I tell you?" Yes, we all know how annoying that shit is, however, you can call them on their bullshit, because this one is a rather difficult one to figure out. The movie is a tad bit low budget, but the acting is decent, and you get more than enough eye candy with Shemar Moore. I must also mention the cast is packed with known black actors/actresses. Many don't realize that they are on the hustle and a lot of them turn to the independent black films (just a lil' tidbit). Anyway, you can purchase this DVD for about 12.99 or less if you don't mind a used film at Amazon.com. Or, if you stay in a majority black neighborhood, your local Wal-Mart/Target should have it. Leave the kids at your mom’s; there are a few risky sex scenes. This is a great 4th or 5th date movie, or if you are taken, then watch it with boo. Enjoy!

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: I'm Sick (cough, cough) by Ginger Snap

2007-01-06T08:17:00.000-08:00

I knew Friday afternoon that I wasn't going to come into work on Monday. It was just one of those "girl, f*ck that job" moments. For once I wanted to sleep in, watch Oprah in my pj's and relax. The only problem was in figuring out what excuse I was going to use. They were worse than the military at my job. I swear you had to damn near bring in your doctor to the office to validate your absence. My arsenal of lies was running low. My dog died twice, I had a bladder infection, the runs at least three times a month, a sleep walking grandmother, an emotional breakdown every other week, and the only brand new audi on the market that broke down once a month. Needless to say, the people in HR weren't exactly inviting me to their after work socials. With my tank of "good" excuses running on empty, I had to come up with something before Monday.

It was Sunday evening and I was ready to put my plan into action. I was going to pull one of the classics. I was going to call and leave a voicemail on my boss's machine and explain that I was having a severe emergency and would not make it to work the next day. I mean, who in the hell is in the office on a Sunday? My boss would most likely check her messages late Monday evening and not even bother to extensively question me on Tuesday. I would get both documentation that I called in sick and an extra day to come up with a great lie. I dialed the number and waited as the phone rang. All of a sudden I hear, "Hello?" Sh*t, my boss was in the office! I couldn't hang up because we had caller id at work, so I immediately panicked. Word vomit just kept spilling out of my mouth until I became a shoulder to lean on for my friend and co-worker, Tianna who was only skipping work on Monday because she found out that she was pregnant. I was supposedly taking her to the abortion clinic. I was clearly lyin my ass off. Tianna was really going to be out on Monday to close on her new home. She was going to cuss me the hell out on Tuesday, I know that much. All this for one stupid day off. I didn't even enjoy my "sick" day because I was too busy worrying about the altercation that was bound to happen between Tianna and I.

Just as I was drowning my sorrows in a bag of Doritos, my phone rang. It was Tianna. I figured it would be better to get cussed out in the privacy of my own home so I answered. "Hey girl, what's up?" I asked. "Don't play stupid b*tch! You know what's up," Tianna yelled. Ewww, she was pissed. However, I continued to play stupid, "No, I don't know!" "Girrrrl, the boss gave us the week off!", Tianna screamed. "What? Really?" I asked in astonishment. "Yeah, she told me that she once had an abortion in high school and was very understanding of how I must have been feeling. In the process, she said that we could have the day off, since I would need a shoulder to lean on." "So....you aren't angry at me?" "Naw, I was able to peep game, and I ended up telling her that you were really the one who had the abortion. I can't have a lie that drastic trickling down to that fine ass suga daddy lookin brotha in accounting...Shytttt, I'm tryin to get my mortgage paid. Girl, not only did we get some juicy gossip on the boss, but we got a week off! Let's go shopping!"

Despite the fact that I had a stack of counseling pamphlets on my desk the next week, you could say I got off pretty lucky. However, things may not work out so well for you. But there's a solution...There's a new book on the market called "The Sick Day Handbook" by Ellie Bishop. It only costs $10 and I'm sure it will help you out more that I obviously can. However, here's a few helpful tips Tianna, the excuse-ologist gave me.

1. Having a migraine is a good excuse. You don't want to do anything that would take you to the emergency room. Try adding a slew of sent "get well" flowers to your guilty conscious.

2. If you actually have children, go for the "My child is sick" over the "My elderly mother is sick". Kids are often sick so it's believable.

3. Keep the lie simple. Make sure you don't do what I did and take the lie too far. You want to get in and get out. The longer you talk the more questions are to be asked and soon you are having to remember an hour conversation about a rare disease caused by perm.

HAVE FUN ON YOUR DAY OFF!

WOOF.

2007-01-05T17:57:00.000-08:00

WEEKLY WORD: SAFETY FLUSH

2007-01-05T07:41:00.000-08:00

1. SAFETY FLUSH - The act of a pre-emptive flush of the toilet BEFORE sitting down. Normally to ensure that the toilet will flush when needed and not back up. Usually performed when expecting to do the "number two". A safety flush is crucial if you are visitng someone for the first time at their home.

Ex. Last night I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time and his mom cooked chilli for dinner. It was pretty tasty, but my stomach was trippin'. When I went to the bathroom, I noticed that their toilet was a little raggedy, so I knew I had to do a SAFETY FLUSH before I went to work.

Recipe: Fried Ice Cream, aka brownie points

2007-01-05T00:19:00.000-08:00

Hey,

This recipe is guaranteed to get you major brownie points with that potential boo. Your crush is destined to give you a smooch after you serve him this tasty treat.

Ingredients:
2 eggs
Vegetable oil
four scoops vanilla ice cream
cinnamon
sugar
frosted flakes
nuts, pecans, almonds, whatever you like...
whipped cream, cherries, hot fudge

Directions:

Freeze four scoops of ice cream on a baking pan with wax paper for an hour or more, you want to make sure the scoops are nice and firm.

dip ice cream scoops in nuts and put back into the freezer for about 30-45 minutes.

beat 2 eggs, add cinnamon and sugar (about 2 pinches) to crumbled frosted flakes.
Add ice cream scoops to frosted flakes, egg, etc. mixture. MAKE SURE SCOOPS ARE COMPLETELY COVERED WITH FROSTED FLAKES.

Freeze scoops for about an hour.

heat a pot of vegetable oil until it's sizzlin'. throw a bread crumb or something in there to make sure the oil is hot. Dip your prepared scoop of ice cream in there for 30 sec.

Serve on plate with whipped cream, cherries, hot fudge, whatever your boo likes...

Enjoy!!!!!

MEET JAY

2007-01-04T12:27:00.000-08:00

Ladies Meet Jay...

Jay holds a bachelor's degree from Augustana College in business management. However, Jay is quite the basketball star and has spent the last two months playing professionally in Fray Bentos, Uruguay. It's not a question that Jay is athletic with an athletic build to match. He loves to workout. Off the court, you can catch Jay reading a novel, or just hanging out with his buddies. Jay is very laid back and just likes to enjoy life.

What does this eligible bachelor find attractive in a woman? No wallflowers, girls...Jay really loves women who can dance, and can have a good time on the dancefloor. Confidence is key when it comes to Jay's ideal woman. He wants a confident woman who exudes femininity. After a hard day at practice, Jay is also looking for a woman who isn't afraid to spoil her man with an occasional back rub. If you snag a date with this handsome caramel cutie, expect to have a fun time bowling on a double date, or just chillin' with his closest friends and family. While Jay is a romantic, he doesn't believe in the cliche dinner and a movie date. He's much more creative, ladies, and he would rather plan a date according to your interests. So, if you enjoy poetry, expect a tailored date by Jay to a nice, candle-lit open mic night.

If you are interested in Jay, Please send your information to us, and we will forward your digits to Jay, and Hook you up!

Email: contact@threescoopsonline.com

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: The Book Scam, by Smart Cookie

2007-01-04T12:24:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of the semester, you end up dishing out over $300 for two books. And you are pissed when it's time to sell your textbooks back to the school...the school only gave you back $80. You have been swindled, bamboozled! All colleges and universities over price textbooks and then underpay you for them. So how do you avoid the scam and become a scammer? It's very simple...

DUH! GO TO THE LIBARY

Most school libraries have the ability to get the books that you are looking for from another library. They usually call the process an interlibrary loan. And guess what? You get your textbooks for free! There really isn't a catch. You might have to renew your books from time to time, considering that you will have them the entire semester. If they don't allow you to renew the books, what's ten cents per day that they are late versus $300? Much of nothing. If you get your books through the library, I strongly suggest you do it way in advance of your actual class start date. It can take a while for the books to come into the library, or worse case scenario, the library will be unable to get them. However, if you plan ahead, you still have time to get your books by other means.

Tip: Once you register for classes, go get the required reading lists from the professors that you plan to have. If they are hesitant to give it to you, don't be afraid to tell them that you are tight on money and must know what costs to expect.

BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS ONLINE

Check out websites like Amazon.com and Ebay. You can usually find textbooks and novels at lower prices, and at over 50% off if you purchase them used. Don't be afraid to buy a used book! I have personally purchased numerous used books from Amazon.com that could be mistaken for brand new. If you are purchasing books online, allow yourself one to two weeks for shipping. But don't forget that you can usually get faster shipping for an extra fee.

ASK AROUND

Look for other students who have already taken the courses that you plan to take. They should be more than willing to sell their textbooks to you, unless they are building their own personal library. Depending on when your college or university buys books back, you can even ask the students in line if they have the books that you need. If so, all you have to do is offer them a few bucks more than what the school is willing to offer. I would take $30 over $5 any day! In essence, steal the business from the school, and don't tell them I told you to do so. Keep it on the hush.

Ok, so now you have gotten your textbooks and used them. You are either going to keep them, return them to the library, or sell them. If you decide to sell your books, you can sell them on amazon.com, Ebay, or directly to a student at your school. If you are slick, sometimes you can sell books ordered online back to your college or university, and as a result, you scam the scammer. Revenge is the sweetest thing, but you didn't hear that from me!

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: SEEK AND FIND: 5 PLACES TO FIND A GUY, by Pecan Perfection

2007-01-02T19:51:00.000-08:00

Ladies, I hate to say but yes, it’s come to this. We can no longer wait for a man to approach us, sweep us off our feet and have instant thoughts that he is the man of our dreams. It’s time to turn the other cheek and just as you would seek advice for that perfect job, try these places to seek or at find least a guy…well he may not be perfect, an NBA player but damn let’s hope he at least has a car.

Pick #1 Home Depot

Well, well, well, I thought I was creative here but after doing a little research seems like some of you have been on this seek-out for a minute. In my opinion it’s still a good seek out why: because it has manly things, stuff that we women could care less about. The hammers, the power-tools, building supplies; your conscious should scream: “ THESE MEN HERE MUST BE GREAT WITH HANDS.” Yippie! In addition some perks for us ladies is that this place does have a Garden Center and paint colors that are made by clothing designers like Ralph Lauren’s, sweatshirt gray, and scholar green. C’mon I know you’ve been dying to re-decorate your bathroom.

Pros: Visiting the garden center won’t make it look too obvious that you’re on a manhunt.
Cons: Since the men that frequent Home Depot are obviously on a mission to get things they really need, like a front door or some wood…chances are they may not look their best. So, be prepared for MAN X who has a lawn mowing service to approach you and smell like grass and manure.
Outfit suggestions: Unwrap your hair, throw on a little lip-gloss, hoop earrings, cute sneakers and a form fitting sweat-suit.

2nd Pick – Car Wash, Oil Change Places

I’m thinking along the line of Jiffy Lube, All Tune-lube . Please disregard that fact that’s probably what your body needs at the moment. When your car has hit that 3-month time frame look in Sunday’s paper cut the coupons for oil-changes and carwashes $$$$$money saving tip$$$$$ and handle your business. Also use same approach when going to get your car wash. Note: any car wash that bears the name of a street 79th street car wash is bound to have men galore. Extra tip- If it’s a self-serve car wash, pack your own supplies i.e. Towels, armor oil, air fresheners, the men may see that you are really into cleaning your car and possibly try to borrow some of your stuff. Hint* If they are cute share…if not tell them to get lost and get their own…

Pros: Men love doing preventive maintenance and making sure that their Rims are shiny.
Cons: Squeegee man may approach you or the guy with the raggedy whip.
Outfit Choice: Fitted jeans, cute sneakers, shirt that shows cleavage, hoodie. If it’s summer replace cute sneakers with flat thong sandals. Make sure those toes are presentable.

3rd pick – Grown Men’s Basketball League

When I was in a so-called relationship, my ex-would have basketball games 3 days out of the week. While picking him up, I couldn’t help but to notice the extra-hotness’ giving my ex a dap and as I sat their wondering how come I’d never seen him before. The Grown Men’s league, (please refer to yellow pages or your city’s internet page on park’s and recreation for the actual name) is held inside a gym, but on extremely hot days they take it to the outside basketball court, and …as an added bonus some of the guys actually take off their shirts. YUMMY! It’s kind of cute to see these most of these men still have a child-hood ambition of wanting to “Be Like Mike.”

Pros: Most recreational centers offer yoga, aerobics, dance, ceramics and even cooking classes. Please I repeat: Get involved in one of these activities so that you don’t seem like a DBW… desperate black woman.
Cons: When you’re coming out of that aerobics class please pack a stick of deodorant in your bag…you wouldn’t want to finally nab the cutie and he notices a stench that’s not fresh.
Outfit Choice: Casual clothing is okay since you’ll probably only see each other in passing, make sure though the casual clothing is something memorable like cute baseball cap and or nice hoodie.

4th Pick – Kenneth Cole Shoe Store

I am getting specific because if I said “The Mall” well you already know the mall harbors teenagers, baby mamas, and gangsta wannabes, but Kenneth Cole, ahh…there’s a certain clientele that shops here. Men with money & style. The average shoe, accessory, blazer or pair of cuff links starts at $50.00.

Pros: They have women’s clothing & shoes
Cons: A lot of gay-men shop here so beware of Down low Brothers, but know how to flip that con into a pro, a gay friend can turn into a great stylist.
Outfit Choice: Rip The Runway… Wear an accessory that screams: Notice Me Damnit!

5th Pick – Community Service Organizations, Career Oriented Organizations, Social Change Organizations

Community service organizations allow you to do something for the benefit of others and it’s a great opportunity for you to meet men who obviously have the same interest as you. Every city has community service organizations. Career Oriented Organizations such as NABJ (that’s if you’re into journalism) not only allow you to explore and network with men in your field, but they also hold these cool conventions were you can meet other people in various cities. Social Change Organizations such as Urban League, and your local chapter of NAACP are also places that you meet men, and it will allow you to work with them to fulfill another common goal other than sex.

Pros: I stress, that most of the men in these organizations may be established and it’s likely you will have very intellectual conversations
Cons: Watch out for those that are too militant and learn to detect bullshitters especially if you think they’re bluffing on their credentials.
Outfit Choice: Business Chic. Cute button-ups, flare leg trousers, blazers and here’s where you bust out with the pumps and banging’ handbag.

In no way am I saying that you will be able to find your dream guy… it’s time we try different approaches to meet and greet rather than going to the club or local bar every week. It’s worth a try.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2006-12-31T08:41:00.000-08:00

ThreeScoops Online would like to wish everyone a happy and safe New Year's Eve!

Here's a to do list for tonight:

1. Get a designated driver. Everyone has a friend who doesn't drink at all, or is tipsy after a wine cooler. You need to invite them out tonight regardless of any possible setbacks. Yeah, One Kooler Keisha might come out tonight wearing a one-piece silk catsuit, but at least you know you and the girls will get home SAFELY.

2. Bring in the new year cute and classy. Please, Please, Please, don't let us have to put any of ya'll on the WOOF section. We have eyes everywhere, So go ahead and return that extra medium tube top. And make sure if you are wearing skin tight clothing, to give yourself a little extra room for tonight. You know you will be nibbling on some winglets and drinking lots of liquor...No one wants to see your after meal stomach pooch peering from under a glittery cami.

3. No drunk phone calls. Ladies, we are too good too fall back on PLAN D, which is the semi fugly backup for the other two backups. If you know you have the tendency to call up a brotha, try to make plans for the "booty call" ahead of time. Call up your "PLAN A" early in the afternoon, flirt a little, and make your reservation. Nothing is worse than realizing the next day that you called all of your ex-boyfriends the previous night.

Well, that's all. Anything should really be common sense. Have a great time tonight!

The legal weed: Hookah, by Smart Cookie

2006-12-28T08:21:00.000-08:00

I recently had my first experience with a Hookah Lounge about a month ago, and let me tell you...I thought I was breaking the law....

For those of you, who've never heard of a Hookah Lounge, it's basically a place where you smoke "flavored tobacco". The atmosphere was very tranquil and relaxing. Everyone sits on plush couches and in the middle, the Hookah sits on a sits on a table. As you can see in the photo, there is a large contraption that is used. There is a menu that lists different flavors, and in my case we chose strawberry-orange. Hookah typically costs around $15 and last about 45 minutes plus depending on how many people you are with. There were four of us, and sorry, I was in a rather drunkenly state, so I don't quite remember, but I know it lasted more than 30 minutes. Ofcourse there is specific etiquette, but we didn't know any better and just used the ol' "puff puff pass". At first you feel slight crackheadish, in that you are basically sucking on this huge pipe. Bubbling water at the bottom of the pipe ensures that you are smoking it properly. If you don't get any bubbles as you inhale, you aren't doing it properly, and you have to take it "to the head", so to speak. I must say after about two rounds and a few drinks, I was feeling pretty damn nice. I was floating on cloud nine, I couldn't believe that "flavored tobacco" could have such an effect. Please broaden your horizons and visit a Hookah Lounge, you'll enjoy it. Also, some of the more posh lounges actually turn into more of a club atmosphere after hours, in which the hookah becomes only available to those who actually have a vip room. I recommend going with a group of friends and reserving a room. That way once everyone is pretty nice, you can dip in and out into the club area if you choose. Only reserve a room if you are going to a lounge that turns into a club atmosphere, and keep in mind that hookah lounges vary depending on the set up, so you might not need to reserve a room.

Here are a few hookah lounges that I found to be pretty nice...

NEW YORK: Kush Lounge, located on 191 Chrystie Street, between Stanton and Rivington. There website is http://www.kushlounge.com/

CHICAGO: Sigara Lounge, located on 2013 W. Division Street, phone number: 773.292.9190, There website is http://www.sigaralounge.com/

WASHINGTON D.C.: Chi Cha Lounge, located on 1624 U st. NW, phone number: 202.234.8400, There website is www.latinconcepts.com/chica

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: The Home Depot Hustle

2006-12-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

The Home Depot Hustle

Purchasing your first home is a metamorphic event. You are no longer under the obligations of rental living; nor, are you relegated to the restive covenants of living at home with your mama. You can finally fix your bacon-breakfast-biscuit in you birthday suit. I purchased my first home this summer, after a uneventful house hunt. I bought in a “up and coming” (still corner action around the block) South Side Chicago neighborhood. The vintage condo is accented with ornate crown molding, antiquated original cabinetry, and deeply varnished hardwood floors. However, my vintage condo was in need of some serious TLC. I bought the three bedroom, two bathroom, 2000 square feet condo at a great price. But, I was in for a surprise when I begin the renovation. Here begins my Home Depot woes.

The Theory

Once upon a time, Pecan Perfection mentioned that Home Depot was an excellent place to meet a man. She theorized that men who frequent this store MUST be good with their hands. However, she did not mention that Home Depot is the Mecca for the Handy-man Hustlers of Home Improvement.

Here, Take My Card!

While in the process of looking for tile, a three-fingered brother in a one-piece painter’s suit approaches me. “Hey, uh, you know I do everything. Here, take my card.” Note to self, he might actually be some good considering he is missing a few body parts. Ten minutes later at the register, this same brother is asking me for some loose change because he left his wallet in the car. WTF? Let me make a prediction. This man is the type of repairman who only wants to get paid in cash. As soon as he gets paid, he has the potential to disappear for several weeks, leaving me with a gutted kitchen and no plumbing.

Everybody, and They Mama!

Over budget and tired. Rushing and stressing. I was looking for paint to go in my kitchen and my bathrooms. Money was getting tight and my patience was disintegrating. I’m picking up paint samples and trying to figure out what colors would complement my home. As I glance to my left, I notice two men walking down the aisle. A hostile and bitchy grimace must have come across my face. One immediately said, “Ay . . . I ain’t trying to talk to you. I just wanted to know if you had someone to paint, because you know, I paint.” I beg your pardon! No, I’m not interested in your services. Are you that strapped for customers that you have to solicit in Home Depot? I’m sorry, but I must decline!

Time to Pick Out Cabinets

An extremely knowledgeable and helpful gentleman was helping me pick out my cabinets. He took his time designing my kitchen cabinets according to my measurements. He answered my questions and offered his suggestions. I was overwhelmed by the competent and skillful customer service. The man, who is clearly the beneficiary of a social security check, flirts with me as he calculates the cost of my cabinets. Not a problem! Who knows, maybe he can give me a discount? Then, here comes the side hustle! “Who are you going to get to install the cabinets?” Damn, is everybody at this home improvement store, customers and staff, moonlighting as a handyman? I told the man that I not only had someone to install them, I had a crew who was going the load and unload the cabinets onto their truck, drive them to my home, and carry them to my third floor apartment. Are you still interested? Nonetheless, the gentleman was helpful and polite, but his actions yielded a NEW theory.

Yes you might be able to find a date at Home Depot. But the date might be with a leaky faucet and a three-fingered handy man instead of Mr. Right.

WEEKLY WORD: BATCH

2006-12-26T08:54:00.000-08:00

Batch

A development of the word bitch. However it is used in a more friendly context. It is used for those who cant get away with calling their mothers or friends a bitch.

Ex. Towards your friend: Damn! I've been waiting outside in the car for over 30 minutes! You are a late ass batch!

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: You know you be lookin' at it... By Dulce Leche

2006-12-26T08:39:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or do other young professional women find themselves taking a quick look at his, you know…left ring-finger? I would have to say this habit began after graduating from college. It was then that I became a more avid user of facebook and a new member of MySpace—you know, to remain connected to the wonderful group of friends I made in college. Well little did I know that graduation was the official welcome sign for another phase in life, marriage. On many occasions, while looking at my peeps profile pics from time to time, I found myself saying, “She got MARRIED!?”

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against marriage, or those that have gotten married, but as I look at these pictures, they seem to do something to my nature. I mean, it wasn’t until after seeing those pictures do I glance at a man’s finger. It’s like those magazines that picture skinny-assed women as the ideal standard of beauty. For some reason, those wedding pics are doing the same. With all my married friends, engaged friends, or friends in serious relationships, I begin to question my own status. WTF is wrong with me?

After slapping myself silly, I realized, nothing. I am young, intelligent, attractive (and I can cook). It was from that point forward, I began to study my newly formed habit of looking at a man’s left ring-finger. Here is what I came up with:

1. Your friends have gotten married, and now you feel as if you should be too. Just like those damn popular stilettos everyone seems to have, why is it that I don’t have a pair yet? You head to the store because…

2. You are interested in what the market looks like. Just like any tangible item you consider taking home with you, a pair of black-leather stilettos or a man, you like to consider your options. Glancing at the finger to learn their status is your way of knowing if the good ones are still around. This buys you time. But then, you come across ‘the’ pair of stilettos…

3. Do I get ‘em? –is what I often ask myself when confronted with an extraordinary pair of black-leather stilettos. You try them on for size, they feel alright. You stroll through the store isle to test em out. But, you will not know for sure until they are home with you and you’ve really spent some time with them. Little did you know—they would irritate your big toe. Just like a man, you assess their initial impression on you; he’s a cool cat. You go out with him a couple of times, opens the doors for me –check plus; offers to pay for the bill – check plus; GREAT in bed – check PLUS PLUS! Move in together; bad bad bad call. A self declared man mooch. By the time you get around to this stage, you feel as if you wasted your time on this dude, and your money on the shoes! Moving on with your life…

4. You are running into the department store one day to get a belt, when you do a double take on what appears to be the finest, most exquisite man ever made…you don’t care if he’s a stiletto a whole size too small or a dog, you’re takin’ this one home! And the cycle repeats itself…

Ladies, the lesson is…there is no rush. The market will always be there, and is ever-changing. No need to feel the pressure of finding a man, being in a relationship, or rushing into marriage! Enjoy the silly little moments of innocent flirting. Look at the man’s finger, and if he catches you, slip him a lil’ smile and a quick wink. This is what being single is all about! Years from now, when you do get married, you will wish you had these moments back. At least, that is what I have been told.

PERFECT PORTFOLIO = PERFECT JOB, by Smart Cookie

2006-12-23T12:49:00.000-08:00

If you are trying to land a creative position, then having a great portfolio is a must. My personal portfolio included work samples that were beyond outdated. I was in desperate need of a portfolio makeover. After reading several resourceful books from the pros, I was able to "pimp out my portfolio", Here are the tips that I found most useful...

1. MORE ISN'T NECESSARILY BETTER

Who cares that you have 20 plus pieces in your portfolio, if they are all crappy? You are definitely only as good as your weakest piece, so when choosing portfolio pieces, be very selective. Only choose your top work. Most executives expect to see about twelve high quality work samples in your portfolio.

2. ORGANIZE YOUR PORTFOLIO ACCORDING TO THE COMPANY THAT YOU ARE APPLYING TO

Prior to an interview, heavily research the company and assess their needs. The company's specific needs should determine which pieces you select for your portfolio. So if you are applying to O Magazine, you might not want to include that article you wrote for King Magazine.

3. YOUR PORTFOLIO SHOULD EXEMPLIFY YOUR UNIQUE STYLE

In the creative world, you have to brand yourself. Therefore, your portfolio should clearly demonstrate your talent, and showcase the skills and style that make your projects unique from your competitors. The creative world is brutal and highly competitive, so you definitely don't want to bring the "norm". You want to stand out of the crowd.

4. START STRONG AND END STRONG

Your first piece should be your strongest piece. You want to wow them at the beginning and immediately grab their attention and interests. Nothing is more embarrassing than an employer who is uninterested and unimpressed. If this is the case, chances are that your interview will be so short, you won't even realize it even started. Your last piece should also be a very strong piece. That way if you happen to lose the employer a tad bit in the middle, you can bring them back into focus. You also want to leave a good lasting impression.

MEET MIKE

2006-12-23T12:48:00.001-08:00

Ladies, Meet Mike . . . .

A twenty-four year old finance major graduating in December 2007, Mike is a goal-oriented man with charm, style, and wit. While not in school or working full time for the city of Chicago, Mike enjoys playing golf, shooting pool, and reading the Wall Street Journal. Intelligence, although an admirable trait, is not the only selling point for this eligible bachelor. Mike is also quite ambitious! After obtaining his bachelors degree, Mike plans to continue his education by attending law school or earning his MBA. This handsome young man with a promising future also enjoys patroning the arts: museums, theaters, and art galleries. Not only can Mike help you crunch your numbers, he can also accompany you in exploring some of the most renowned exhibits the City of Chicago has to offer. Obviously, Mike is a brother who has an appreciation for culture and learning! Not to overemphasize his dignified side, Mike enjoys watching sports, especially the Chicago Bears. It is not unusual to find Mike sitting around the plasma TV, watching the game and talking shit with his boys. Mike’s ideal woman should possess intelligence, personality, and humor. Equally important to Mike is a woman who is goal-orientated and focused. A black man to the heart, Mike loves a woman who can cook! So ladies click and point to the threescoopsonline cooking section for some pointers. Mike is a teddy bear at heart and will treat his one and only like a princess.

If you are interested in corresponding with Mike please email me at coffeebeanonline@yahoo.com

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: THE ONE NOTCH THEORY, by Hot Chocolate

2006-12-23T12:46:00.000-08:00

My girls and I are constantly talking about whether we will every find true love and happiness. Well, the future isn't looking to bright to be honest. The pickings are slim to none, and you have to hit the lotto to come across an elgible hot commodity. However there are some secrets to success: The One Notch Theory of Relationship Success.

Here is how it works. Every person's thrown into the dating pool can be rated from one to ten. This rating isn't just your looks, but the whole package: Intelligence, accomplishments, fitness level (man boobs equals a 3 point deduction), transportation, etc. you get the point. The idead is that if your say, a seven, you will not feel satisfied unless you find someone who is exactly one notch better than you are, an eight. The catch is that the other person has to feel that being with you is also a step up. So the next time you are out recruiting, scope a brother out, and ask yourself two questions: "Is he an upgrade? Am I an upgrade?" If the answer to both is yes, then you might be a perfect match. Basically everyone is looking for the next best thing. Don't front, you know if you are a seven, and you found a six, you will still have your eye out for that eight or above. I know it sounds really superficial, but who are we kidding, most are attracted to those who appear to be unattainable.

However, the real secret is in how to delude the unattainable into thinking that they've hit the dating jackpot with you. For example, say you've met a handsome seven. And you are a seven who would've been a eight if only you know how to cook. Then, you want to pull the ol' FAKE AND BAKE, ladies, you should know this one...Have mom come over early in the day to throw down in the kitchen, or even get some shit catered. Later on that night, put the food on your own dishes and spruce it up with some garnishings and serve it to your date, as if you just got done slaving in the kitchen. Your perfect eight will get the illusion that you are a cookin' seven, when you are really a frozen dinner six. Hey you gotta do what you gotta do. You never know when you will come across those seven and aboves, and you can't let them slip out of your hands. I am going to write a sequel to this article, giving some of the major tricks of the trade on how to delude the perfect 10's, lol. to be continuted...

Rum Raisin Presents: Barbie Punch

2006-12-20T19:33:00.000-08:00

This punch is for the prissy girls who like to entertain. It's not meant to get you drunk, just a small buzz...it's cute. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

2 cans frozen pink lemonade concentrate
1 bottle Champagne
Sliced strawberries
Sliced peaches
Sliced mangoes

Directions:

In a large punch bowl, combine pink lemonade concentrate and Champagne. Stir to combine and dissolve frozen lemonade. Add sliced strawberries, peaches and mangoes to punch bowl. Ladle into glasses and serve.

DAILY HOROSCOOPS

2006-12-20T19:03:00.000-08:00

SAGITTARIUS - You are moving up in the world. Don't get arrogant.

CAPRICORN - Make a list of pros and cons before making a decision.

AQUARIUS - You are headed towards a serious burnout. Get some rest.

PISCES - Stop being a wallflower and socialize. You will get some great connections.

ARIES - Be a chatty cathy today. Today is your day to communicate.

TAURUS - You've finally got "good credit and such", now it's time to start investing, "you're all grown up". And I don't mean in a new pair of shoes, try a starter home or someting, hint hint.

GEMINI - What are you doing? I told you yesterday to look for a sugardaddy. He's out there waiting to take you shopping.

CANCER - Stop trying to take on more than you can chew. Delegate some responsibility.

LEO - Everyday you are digging in your purse trying to find your keys. Get organized.

VIRGO - Finish up loose ends regarding a personal matter.

LIBRA - It's time to focus on yourself. Sign up for that gym membership, get that spa treatment, make that hair and nail appointment, buy yourself something nice.

SCORPIO - You have the money, so go ahead and sign up for that night class and enhance your knowledge.

Black Karaoke, by Smart Cookie

2006-12-20T19:01:00.000-08:00

When you typically think of karaoke, you basically envision yourself in a predominately white environment, rummaging through a book full of songs that doesn't include hardly any rap or r&b. The closest you get to a hot song is Blackstreets "No Diggity", which can only be jazzed up so much, yet you sing it like it came out yesterday. I mean it's either "No Diggity" or "Baby Got Back", the pickins' are slim. Well, I found a solution to your karaoke woes. Laristo's II, a sports bar, located on 146th and Torrence Ave., in Calumet City, IL, offers a real laid back environment. On Thursday nights around 10pm, they host a fun-filled karaoke night. There is a well balance mixture of people trying to get records deals, actual old school "sangers", and the everyday shower singers. And you don't have to worry about not having a great song selection. Two huge books include everything from Ludacris, Faith Evans, Luther, to Anita Baker, to Jill Scott. The choices are endless! The crowd is very generous and friendly, so don't worry about getting booed if you sound horrible. Another great plus about Laristo's is that it's BYOF, yeah, i know, not BYOB, but BYOF...BRING YOUR OWN FOOD. With a Harold's just down the block, I highly recommend picking up a 4pc on the way. Also, bring at least four people with you, karaoke is not fun when it's just you and one other person. If you interested in having a night filled with endless laughter check out Laristo's II on Thursday nights.

Laristo's II: phone: 708.891.1343, Located: 146th & Torrence Ave., Calument City, IL

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: The Man Mooch, by Hot Chocolate

2006-12-20T18:57:00.000-08:00

Man Mooch (mn) (mch) n. - A man who does not take on any type of household and financial responsibilties, and instead allows his girlfriend/mate to assume a motherly role, while he comfortably remains a dependant; a sponge.

Unfortunately, I have attracted a man mooch or two in my day, and trust me, it's no picnic. I honestly think the more independent you become, the more likely you are to attract a man mooch. He may not be parasitic when you first meet, but eventually you start to notice warning signs, until one day you realize that you should be claiming another person on your taxes. Man mooches come in all shapes and sizes, and don't get it twisted, a man mooch might very well have his own crib, car, and a job, but he is just cheap as hell and would rather stay at your crib to eat up all your food, sit in your a/c, and ride in your car so he doesn't have to fill his gas tank up. Now, I definitely don't mind sharing my belongings with my man, but it becomes very problematic and quite annoying when I notice that you have paid for 2 of 10 ten dates, one of which we went dutch. Not to mention that, I had to drive way outta the way to pick you up for all of these dates. It seems as if guys have gotten so overwhelmed and intimidated by strong, independent women, that they have just completely loss their minds and have determined that they will just put in as little effort as possible into the relationship and revert to a lifestyle of usin' and abusin'. Ladies, I mean man mooches do extra triflin' things such as, assume that because you have a good job, you don't want your change back from the 20 dollar bill you gave him to put 10 dollars on pump eight. I don't care if i'm holding a stack of hundreds, I want my change! Beware of man mooches...

WEEKLY WORD

2006-12-19T19:14:00.000-08:00

1. LIGHTNING - Hair that sticks up or sticks straight out because it is too short to fit into a ponytail. Lightning cannot be controlled or tamed down, not even with a glob of gel.

Ex. That girl knows her hair is too short to be tryin to wear a ponytail. Lightning is striking all over the place.

DAILY HOROSCOOPS

2006-12-19T18:57:00.000-08:00

SAGITTARIUS - Be grateful for what is new in your life.

CAPRICORN - Take some time for yourself, relax in a quiet space and take time to think.

AQUARIUS - A close friend is under a lot of stress and needs your help.

PISCES - The spotlight is on you no matter how much you try to avoid it.

ARIES - Go ahead with your plans, it's too late to change things now.

TAURUS - Don't feel bad about recounting that money your triflin' borrower finally pays back.

GEMINI - You need to find a sugar daddy, a sponsor or something. Funds are tight and you need a helping hand.

CANCER - Stop trying to buy all name brand groceries, you need to go ahead and put those Rice Krispies back and grab the "Krispy Rice". They all taste the same and you need to cut some corners.

LEO - Link up with an old friend and form a stronger bond.

VIRGO - Stand back and take notes today.

LIBRA - Learning is important today, Study.

SCORPIO - You are lucky today, go ahead and pick up that lotto ticket.

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: Rebirth, by Candice Horton

2006-12-19T18:54:00.000-08:00

I felt as though my confidence was at its highest peak. I just did it. Without a second thought, a tinge of hesitation, an “I’ll sleep on it moment,” I did it. I went natural. As confident as I am today this has been an uphill battle and decision that seemed to have me “sleeping on it” for about 4 yrs now. I wanted to go natural a long time ago. My sister was the first in the family to blossom into her self. She was our guinea pig. I still remember my initial response, so scripted by society; it came out “Why did you do that?” Through a forced smile hiding behind selfish thoughts of how her decision would make me look when we were out together in public. Blooming like a flower, it took her a while to get used to the new woman in the mirror. I saw this new confidence I had never seen in her before. Like a child in a candy store, I wanted some. My mom was next. For her I think it was more of a convenience thing. My mom always found the easy way out when it came to managing her hair. Pull it back, pin it up, set it for a week, whatever she could do to forget about her processed tresses and make more time for the more concerning matters in life. As I watched my mother and sister embrace their kinky curls I grew jealous. Jealous of their bravery to step into such an opinionated world with their heads held high. Jealous of the short amount of time that it took for them to get ready and look like a million bucks. Jealous of the money they saved as I continued to dip into funds that I didn’t really have but would go into debt for, just to get my hair bone straight!

I attempted to go natural two times before going through with it. The first time was after I was in Ghana, Africa for a month. I didn’t touch my hair the entire time I was there. I had a short cut at the time and lived for a month with head wraps and scarves while I embraced my culture and its beauty. After returning I was dead set on going natural. It was my sophomore year at Indiana University and I was going to follow in my sister’s footsteps. I couldn’t do it. That Optimum box perm was speaking louder than my confidence at the time. The second attempt was my junior year of college. I convinced my sister to put micro braids in my hair because I was ready to go natural. She made me promise her I would go natural after hours, even days of braiding a million little braids throughout my thick head of hair. My promises were empty, as empty as the perm container as I sat in a salon, feeling the cool sensation of the no-lye chemical on my scalp. There was no feeling like it.

My perception of myself became less clouded when I graduated from Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana and moved to Brooklyn, New York. I had braids when I moved here and didn’t consider going natural so I did what I always did when I had braids. I spent two grueling days taking them out, went to the hair care store, bought a perm and asked my sister to apply it. My hair was thinner than it had ever been. I looked into the mirror and saw for the first time what I was doing to my hair. The damage, the heat, and for what? The damage was so bad that I had to cut my hair short and shave it in the back. Yes, it was cute. I could always rock a short do and never complained when it came to cutting my hair and giving new colors or styles a chance. After another month of curling, bumping, and gelling I had had enough. Everyday I walked outside I was graced with gorgeous natural styles: twists, locs, groomed fros. I remembered saying to myself, “I want that.” Then it began, I was going to do what it took to get what I wanted. For two months I let my hair grow. It was a grueling wait and a science experiment all it’s own. I didn’t know what to expect. I felt like a chia pet waiting for my hair to sprout out so I could see what it looked like. I wore scarves and head bands to conceal the binary that was being produced on my head: sleek and straight ends and curly and kinky roots. I wanted to break down occasionally but the beautiful, natural women of Brooklyn kept me on track. I kept setting dates for myself as to when I would cut off my processed hair. I would push back the dates because my hair wasn’t long enough. I did this at least three times. It had to be planned. It had to be right. At least that is how I thought it was supposed to be. The day I cut my hair I had no idea I was going to do it. I washed my hair like I usually did on Sunday’s, conditioned it and blew it dry. The next step was the curling iron. I was tired of this routine. I was fed up. I was ready. I called my sister and told her I was ready to make the big cut, she responded with justifiable skepticism because of my empty promises in the past. I didn’t know where the feeling was coming from but I remember not having a concern in the world that this was the wrong decision. I grabbed the scissors and I started cutting chunks of processed hair off. Letting the hair fall to my shoulder, into the sink…to the ground. Unveiling the new me, the real me. I stared into the mirror for hours admiring the new me and seeing my face for what seemed like the first time.

BEFORE

AFTER

MEET ALGENOY

2006-12-19T18:52:00.000-08:00

Meet Algenoy

An up and coming author, speaker, and life coach, Algenoy is a successful businessman with an eye for style. When he his not speaking or writing, Algenoy mentors youth at a local high school. An avid reader and poet, you will likely see Algenoy reading a book or penning his next poem. He has a passion for African culture, self improvement, and metaphysics. Algenoy is a deep conversationalist and loves to talk about a full gambit of issues—politics, spirituality, music, or the latest fashion. Damn, this is a deep brother! But don’t get it twisted, he knows how to have fun. Algenoy believes that his ideal partner should possess beauty, intelligence, ambition, style, discipline, and charisma. Chicken-heads and gold-diggers need not apply! Charming, handsome, and employed, this is a man with more than just good benefits!!! What more can a woman ask for?

Questions, comments, concerns about Algenoy???

Please email me @ coffeebeanonline@yahoo.com

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: SECRET SHOPPING TIPS, by Smart Cookie

2006-12-16T07:12:00.000-08:00

Don’t you just hate going to TJMaxx on Saturday? You spend an hour trying to sift through the mess the other shoppers leave behind, and you finally come across the cutest shoe, only to find that there isn’t a match. Damn! Half the day is gone, and you didn’t even buy anything. Not to mention that you still have to make a trip to Target…damn…Damn…DAMN!

GO SHOPPIING DURING THE WEEK

Most stores get their stock during the weekdays. I guarantee if you go shopping on a Wednesday after class, during your lunch break, or even an hour before the store closes, you will have a lovely shopping experience. TJMaxx will be clean and organized, and they will have an abundance of merchandise. Not only does TJMaxx now have the match to that cute shoe you found previously, they have several pairs. I highly recommend that shopping be done during the week, but if you must venture out on a Saturday or Sunday, please avoid hitting the snooze button in the morning, and be at the store as soon as they open.

Now that you are shopping inside of TJMaxx on a “good” day, you have the entire store inside of your cart, and you are heading directly to the layaway line and/or register.

RE-EVALUATE THE CONTENTS OF YOUR CART BEFORE YOU MAKE YOUR FINAL PURCHASE

Hey, if you are rollin’ in the dough, then this need not apply to you. However, if you are ballin’ on a budget or using your bill money to support your shopping addiction, you might want to follow my advice. Try to organize the items in your cart into three categories:

1. THE GOTTA HAVE IT PILE
This pile should contain the items that you cannot live without. These items are the ones that if you do not buy, you will dream about them; Therefore, forcing you to return to the store the next day, in hopes that your items haven’t been purchased by someone else. The “Gotta Have It Pile” must be purchased or put on Layaway immediately!
2. THE SO/SO PILE

This pile should consist of the items that are cute, but you definitely do not need. These items are usually the ones that you already have at home, but in a slightly different style or color. These are the items that you might think about once you are in the car, but quickly forget about once you realize that your phone bill is due in a few days. Though you might put back items from this pile, you may purchase items from this pile as well. Warning…A side effect of this pile is Indecisiveness. It may be extremely hard to decide which items to keep and which items to return to the shelves.
3. THE YOU ARE GREEDY PILE
You don’t really need ten purses! Nor do you need that silk pajama set, when you and I both know that you usually sleep in a t-shirt. And that leopard print bra, that’s just hideous! This pile is made up the items that you bought during your “shopping high”; you know what I’m talking about. A shopping high is the result of over excitement, which then puts you into a trance in which you are picking up items unconsciously. All of the items in this pile must be taken out of the cart ASAP! I repeat, DO NOT purchase these items!

So regardless if you put items on Layaway or not, you may be headed to the cash register. The cashier gives you your total, and then asks, “Would you like to save 10% on your purchase today?”

TRY TO AVOID ACQUIRING STORE CREDIT CARDS

Really think on this one. If you only have $50 of merchandise, is five dollars off your purchase really worth another opened account going on your credit report? Even if you are spending hundreds of dollars, most of us assume that we will just pay the balance off as soon as the bill comes. But we all know that rarely happens. Time passes, you totally forgot about your big purchase and have spent the money, and a few days later a TJMaxx credit card bill comes with a 25% interest rate. Now you have acquired a new bill. If you must take the discount, then I would suggest you pay the full balance right on the spot if possible, but still consider that you have gained another opened account on your credit report. If you must use a credit card, pull out the Visa, Discover, or MasterCard, but don’t open a store account because chances are your major credit card has a much lower interest rate than the store credit card. So basically the best advice I can give, trust me, I am talking from experience, is to avoid getting the store credit card at any cost. You can survive without new shoes, but you cannot survive with bad credit!So you are finally done with your shopping trip, and you are leaving fulfilled. Whew! What a day, ladies. After a fulfilling shopping experience that hasn’t left you feeling guilty or feeling broke, you must end your day with an important ritual.

PARTAKE IN A SHOPPING COOL DOWN

After a great shopping experience, treat yourself to a tasty treat, or if you are out with your girls, go out to dinner. If you are alone, go ahead and order that large fry. Eat your food on your way home, and as soon as you get home take your items out of the bag and adore them, even try them on if you’d like. Well, it’s been fun, and I hope these few tips will enhance your shopping experience. Good Luck!

UPDATES/IMPROVEMENTS

2006-12-15T23:01:00.000-08:00

NOTE TO VIEWERS/SUBSCRIBERS: HOROSCOOPS ARE ONLY AVAILABLE MON.-FRI., TO ACCESS A WEEKEND HOROSCOPE PLEASE LOOK ON THE RIGHT SIDEBAR UNDER HOROSCOPES.

WE'VE ALSO ADDED A NEWS SECTION IN WHICH YOU CAN ACCESS TOP STORIES FROM CNN, MTV, AND CRUNKTASTICAL (LEADING BLACK CELEB GOSSIP SITE).

THANX,

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

WOOF.

2006-12-15T22:20:00.000-08:00

I feel sorry for that bottle of Hennesey.

CUTENESS: Knekraps, Recommended by Smart Cookie

2006-12-15T13:46:00.000-08:00

Though the weather is acting really strange, it's still rather chilly outside. And what better way to stay warm than with a cute snuggly scarf? However, some scarfs can be a pain in the butt. Too long and getting caught in the door and stuff. And don't let your coat have velcro on it; Your scarf is destined to stick to it, causing ugly fuzz balls. A friend of mine hand knits these really cute scarfs called Knekraps (pronounced neck wraps, duh!). Each one comes with a unique vintage button handpicked from thrift stores around Manhattan. You are getting a one-of-a-kind. You can even request custom colors! I guarantee no one is going to have one in your neck of the woods (no pun intended) Priced at $30 which includes shipping, you are getting a steal. Out here in the NY, they are getting a major buzz...she can't make them fast enough! You definitely want to scoop a few of these up, and they will make very nice Christmas gifts for you late shoppers. And for ya'll who have a boo that's a bit metro, you can get the more masculine black one with a locket button. How cute is that?

If you want to purchase a Knekrap you can visit http://homepage.mac.com/langdon40/PhotoAlbum28.html

Or you can Email us at Contact@threescoopsonline.com for more information.

Which Machine Do I Get On? by Milky "Weigh"

2006-12-15T13:43:00.000-08:00

There are so many cardio machines at the gym, from elliptical trainers to treadmills. It's a bit overwhelming. Most of us often wonder which machines will give us the best workout. Honestly, most cardio equipment can provide a satisfactory workout. So choose the machine that you enjoy the most. If you pick a machine that you enjoy, then you will help maintain your motivation. In conjuction with choosing a machine that you like, you should find one that's safe for you body. If you know you have bad knees, don't get on the treadmill. I would also pick a machine that's fitting to your body. For example, if you have a big butt, then the exercise bike might not be your thing. Or if you have big titties, you might want to bypass running on the treadmill, unless you have the proper sports bra to tame those bad boys.

No matter what machine you end up choosing, remeber that your main goal is to find and stay within your target hear-rate zone. And if you get tired of working out on the same machine, don't be afraid to mix things up. The maximum time spent on cardio should really only be about 60 minutes, 3-5 times per week. So please don't pay any attention to those women in there who are practically killing themselves trying to get on Top Model. I guarantee if you try to compete with the woman next to you who is running an Olympic qualifying time on the treadmill next to you, your ass is going to end up on the ground. Take it from someone who knows. Moving on, rather than staying on the same machine for 60 minutes, you might want to try 15 intense minute cycles on four different pieces of equipment.

In case you still can't decide which machine is best for you, here are a few key differences between the treadmill, elliptical trainer, and the bike.

1. Treadmill

Motion: Running or walking

Benefits: Running and walking are natural movements. Most treadmills are easier on your knees and back than the hard pavement outside.

Caution: Run evenly by making sure your heels hit the treadmill first, then rolling through your arch and pushing off with your toes. However, if you have serious knee or back problems then you need to just avoid the treadmill.

2. Elliptical Trainer

Motion: A cross between stepping and cross-country skiing.

Benefits: This machine reduces the forces on your knees and lower back in comparison to running.

Caution: If you don't have good balance, you need to hold on to the rails for support. Otherwise allow your arms to swing freely at your side. If you are using the full body ellipticals please make sure you use your arms and legs equally.

3. Bike

Motion: Like sitting on a couch. Especially if you are riding while watching the tv in the gym. The best machine for beginners.
Benefits: Because your feet aren't making contact with the ground, there is no shock to your body. The circular movement can also be very meditative.

Caution: Make sure you don't lock your legs out at the bottom of your stride. Do not use this machine if you have serious lower back pain.

DAILY HOROSCOOPS

2006-12-15T13:31:00.000-08:00

SAGITTARIUS - Turn off the television and get your work done. You are easily distracted today.

CAPRICORN - Don't make any assumptions today, they'll prove to be false and you will look like an ass.

AQUARIUS - Your girls will influence your spending habits today.

PISCES - Today you are all over the place, and you accomplish nothing.

ARIES - You don't know what the hell your talking about, so don't try to pretend like you do.

TAURUS - You can't hold water when it comes to secrets. You need to stay away from nosy rosie today so you don't spill the beans.

GEMINI - Don't get in the middle of it. Mind your own business.

CANCER - Patience, patience, patience.

LEO - Your temper is hot today. You have reached the last straw.

VIRGO - Love is in the air. Dress cute today.

LIBRA - Don't try to put anything together without the instructions.

SCORPIO - Don't start tossing around money you don't have to impress friends.

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: Mom what you don't know might hurt you, by Hot Chocolate

2006-12-15T13:26:00.000-08:00

MY FAMILY DOESNT DEPICT THE PERFECT FAMILY, WHERE MOTHER AND DAUGHTER DISCUSS EVERYTHING FROM THEIR FIRST PERIODS TO LOSING THEIR VIRGINITY. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO TELL THEIR MOTHERS EVERYTHING, AND WHEN I SAY EVERYTHING I MEAN IT. "MOM, I HAD SEX LAST NIGHT" AND "MOM, MY FRIEND SUSIE GOT SOOO DRUNK THAT WE HAD TO TAKE HER TO THE HOSPITAL." NOW, THE NEXT TIME SUSIE COMES OVER TO HER FRIENDS HOUSE, SHE WILL PROBABLY BE HANDED PAMPHLETS TO AN "AA" MEETING BY HER FRIENDS MOTHER. HOW EMBARASSING IS THAT? THOUGH MY PARENTS HAVE "BOBBY AND WHITNEY" MANNERISMS, I USED TO REPRESENT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM. A FEW YEARS AGO IF YOU WERE TO ASK MY MOTHER ABOUT ME, SHE WOULD TELL YOU THAT I WAS THE PERFECT ANGEL, SAVING MYSELF UNTIL MARRIAGE. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING, "HER LYIN ASS". AND YES YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, BUT HOW MANY OF YOUR MOTHERS ACTUALLY KNOW THAT INSTEAD OF DRINKING A WINE COOLER ON OCCASION, THAT YOU ARE THROWIN BACK SHOTS OF VODKA EVERY WEEKEND BEFORE A PARTY? HOW MANY OF YOUR MOTHERS KNOW DETAILS OF YOUR SEX LIFE, OR EVEN THAT YOU HAVE A SEX LIFE AT ALL? WHO ACTUALLY TELLS THEIR MOTHER ABOUT A LATE NIGHT BOOTY CALL, A FRIEND WITH BENEFITS, OR THE HANDCUFFS THEY PURCHASED AT A SEX TOY PARTY? HELL, WHO EVEN TELLS THEIR MOTHER THAT THEY WENT TO A SEX TOY PARTY? HOW MUCH INFORMATION CAN YOU ACTUALLY SHARE WITH YOUR MOTHER WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A COMPLETE LIER OR A COMPLETE IRRESPONSIBLE DRUNKEN HOE? WELL, AFTER A RATHER INTERESTING EXPERIENCE, I THINK I MIGHT HAVE FOUND THE ANSWER...

ONE FRIDAY NIGHT MY FRIENDS AND I FOUND OURSELVES BORED OUT OF OUR MINDS. THERE WERE NO PARTIES, EVERYONE HAD ABOUT TEN DOLLARS TO THEIR NAMES, AND THE ONLY THING ON TELEVISION WAS A "REAL WORLD" MARATHON THAT WE HAD WATCHED THE NIGHT BEFORE. WHAT WERE WE TO DO? WELL, IN THE MIDST OF GIRL TALK WHICH USUALLY CONSISTED OF SOME FORM OF MALE BASHING, COMMENTS ON HOW BROKE WE WERE, AND ADMIRATION OF TYRESE'S OR 50 CENTS BODY, SOMEONE BLURTED OUT,"WE SHOULD GO SEE SOME MALE STRIPPERS!" AT FIRST EVERYONE WAS LOOKING AT THE CULPRIT, LIKE "BITCH, PULEEASE!" BUT THEN THERE WAS A MOMEMENT OF SILENCE. WE WERE ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF GOING, WELL, AT LEAST I KNOW I WAS. AFTER A BRIEF THOUGHT OF A DARK HANDSOME MAN WITH A NICE BODY GLISTENIN' IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES...MMMMM...I DARTED TO THE NEAREST COMPUTER AND GOOGLED "MALE STRIP CLUBS". AFTER INTENSE SEARCHING, I FINALLY FOUND A PLACE ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES FROM US THAT JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE HAVING A MALE AMATEUR NIGHT THAT WAS STARTING IN JUST A MATTER OF TIME. NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT WE ALL PILED IN MY GIRLS CIVIC AND SPED OVER TO "ARNIES". WHEN WE PULLED UP TO "ARNIES" THE PARKING LOT WAS PACKED! I GUESS WE WEREN'T THE ONLY WOMEN ON THE PLANET, WILLING AND READY TO TREAT A MAN LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT. AFTER FINDING PARKING, WE SLOWLY HEADED TO THE DOOR. ONCE WE ENTERED, WE WERE OVERWHELMED WITH LOUD WHOOPIN' AND HOLLERIN', BLARING STROBE LIGHTS, THE STENCH OF BEER, A COMPLETEY NUDE MALE POPPIN' ON A HANDSTAND TO R. KELLY'S "BUMP AND GRIND", AND...I HOPE YOU ARE READY FOR THIS...A SLEW OF OLDER WOMEN! YES, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT! THERE WERE A TON OF OLDER WOMEN THROWING OUT DOLLAR BILLS AND YELLING THINGS LIKE,"SHAKE THAT ASS!" AND EVEN WORSE,"BRING THAT @#!? OVER HERE!" I EVEN SAW WOMEN SMACKIN' NAKED BUTTS! I WAS IN TOTAL SHOCK, HERE WE WERE FEELING GUILTY ABOUT GOING TO A MALE STRIP CLUB, AND WOMEN THAT COULD HAVE BEEN OUR OWN MOTHERS WERE THERE ACTIN' A DAMN FOOL. I FELT OUT OF PLACE, LIKE WE WERE INTRUDING ON "GROWN FOLKS BUSINESS", SO I WAS VERY HESITANT TO PULL OUT MY SINGLES. THAT WAS OFCOURSE UNTIL A GROUP OF WOMEN SHARING A BOTTLE OF CROWN ROYAL TURNED TO US AND YELLED," WHAT'S WRONG BABIES ARE YALL SCARED?" AND OUT OF NOWHERE A WOMAN WEARING A ONE-PIECE CATSUIT HANDED ME A SINGLE AND PUSHED ME ONTO THE STAGE AS IF SHE HAD GIVEN ME HER MOTHERLY APPROVAL. AFTER THAT IT WAS ON AND POPPIN'. MY FRIENDS AND I WERE ABLE TO LET LOOSE AND WE ENDED UP HAVING SO MUCH FUN THAT WE MADE A POINT TO COME BACK ONCE A MONTH.

SO BACK TO THE QUESTION AT HAND, HOW MUCH INFORMATION CAN YOU ACTUALLY SHARE WITH YOUR MOTHER WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A COMPLETE LIER OR A COMPLETE IRRESPONSIBLE DRUNKEN HOE? WELL, AFTER MY LITTLE STRIP CLUB EXPERIENCE, I LEARNED THAT YOU CANNOT ASSUME THAT YOUR MOTHER IS A COMPLETE PRUDE. DON'T FORGET THAT YOUR MOTHER WAS ONCE IN HER TWENTIES TOO, AND JUST BECAUSE SHE IS AN OLDER WOMAN DOESN'T MEAN THAT SHE STILL DOESN'T LIKE TO HAVE FUN. CHANCES ARE SHE'S LOOKING AT YOU LIKE YOU ARE A BIG LAME. ALL OF OUR MOMS HAVE MADE SNIDE REMARKS LIKE, "YOU ARE ALWAYS IN THE HOUSE!" OR ASKS, "HOW COME YOU NEVER GO ON ANY DATES?" OR EVEN SAYS,"I KNOW THIS NICE YOUNG MAN WHO IS SINGLE" . YOUR MOTHER ISN'T MAKING THOSE COMMENTS JUST TO START CONVERSATION. IF YOU HAVE BEEN ACTING COMPLETELY INNOCENT IN YOUR MOTHERS PRESENCE, SHE PROBABLY THINKS THAT YOU ARE A COMPLETE LONER, AND FEELS SORRY FOR YOU. BY NO MEANS AM I SUGGESTING THAT YOU TELL YOUR MOM EVERY DETAIL OF YOUR HOT AND STEAMY NIGHTS WITH A SIGNIFICANT OTHER, OR OF YOUR DRUNKEN NIGHTS WHICH RESULTED IN A MASSIVE HANGOVER. YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART WHAT THINGS WOULD JUST CRUSH YOUR MOTHER IF SHE WAS TO EVER FIND OUT, SO KEEP THOSE THINGS TO YOURSELF. JUST LIKE WE DON'T WANT TO EVER ENVISION OUR PARENTS HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS, BEING STUPID DRUNK, OR PARTAKING IN BARELY LEGAL ACTIVITIES, THEY'D RATHER NOT PICTURE US DOING THOSE THINGS EITHER. BUT DON'T KEEP YOUR PARENTS COMPLETELY IN THE DARK, KEEP THINGS LIGHT AND RESPECTFUL. GOD FORBID THAT YOUR PARENTS GET A CALL THAT YOU HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR DRUNKEN DRIVING WHEN THEY DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THAT YOU DRANK. OR EVEN WORSE, YOU COME HOME PREGNANT WHEN YOUR PARENTS THOUGHT YOU WERE A VIRGIN. SO HOW MUCH INFORMATION SHOULD YOU TELL YOUR MOTHER?

JUST ENOUGH TO KEEP YOUR MOM IN THE KNOW, WHILE KEEPING THE DETAILS ON THE LOW! REMEMBER THAT SIMPLE RHYME AND YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO ACT LIKE YOU ARE SPENDING TIME WITH THE GIRLS, WHEN YOU ARE REALLY MEETING UP WITH A HOTTIE FOR DRINKS. YOU CAN NOW SAY,"MOM, I'M GOING OUT ON A DATE...DON'T WAIT UP!" AND YOUR MOM, THOUGH SHE MAY STILL SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN UNTIL YOU HAVE MADE IT BACK HOME SAFELY, WILL RESPOND BY SAYING,"OK HONEY, HAVE A GOOD TIME, DON'T STAY OUT TOO LATE! DO YOU HAVE YOUR CELL PHONE? CALL IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, I'LL KEEP THE PORCH LIGHT ON FOR YOU...."

HEY, YOU CAN'T EXPECT A MIRACLE, A MOM IS STILL GOING TO BE A MOM, LOL.

CUTENESS: Angela Boot, Recommended by Smart Cookie

2006-12-14T11:39:00.000-08:00

I'm slightly picky when it comes to my boots. I don't sacrifice my feet for the sake of looking cute. And I don't like anything extra, no sparkles, be-dazzles, glitter, etc. Because I stay in the NY, I walk everywhere, so i've fallen in love with kitten heels, low heels, flat, etc. They are cute and comfy. No corns here! I can get a pedicure and be worry free (No need to go "overtime on Myra").

Today I found the Angela Boot, by Zigi NY. Priced at $137.95, they're slightly pricey, but that's about how much you should expect to pay for a decent pair of leather boots, not to mention they are mid-calf boots. They come in three colors: brown, black, & red. Unfortunately, they only go up to a size 9.5, so all you big footers will have to pass on these. But if the shoe fits and you want to stunt over the holiday, you can purchase Angela at zappos.com.

WEEKLY WORD

2006-12-14T11:04:00.000-08:00

We here at ThreeScoops have our own special slang. Words that somehow we end up using quite often, so it's only right that we share them. Chances are you will come across these in our articles. This weeks word is: hoe bath. Try to use it in a sentence this week with the crew, and maybe it will catch on.

1. HOE BATH or HOE WASH

When you don't have time to take a bath or shower, but you need to freshen up fast. standing by the sink or sitting on the toilet, clean with wash cloth or hand and soap. Better known as "washing the essentials."

Ex. Girl, i didn't have time to take a bath before he came over so i did a hoe wash real quick before he got here.

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: Learning to Love a Fug, by Merry Cherry

2006-12-14T11:03:00.000-08:00

Fug - A person who is fuckin ugly.

Have you ever come across those odd couples that just make you do a triple take? A very beautiful woman holding hands with a damn wilderbeast, just triggers your gag reflexes. You immediately think that the fug either has an attractive lifestyle or is a guru in bed. I personally couldn't even bring myself to kiss a wilderbeast, but that's another issue. Anyways, so many times you try to convince yourself that you only care about a man's personality, but who are you really trying to fool? You are only fooling yourself. You and I both know that you would take a dumb, broke and triflin' Boris Kodjoe look alike over a sweet and successful Flava Flav look alike, ANYDAY. But somehow a few fugs manage to slip through the cracks. How is this possible? How do you learn to love a fug? I will tell you.

Several months ago, I found myself in an off and on relationship with my Kryptonite. Every woman has one. You know, that man who is triflin' as hell, but yet you can't leave him alone. He can lie, he can cheat, but yet has this special "mojo" that intoxicates you, making you lose all common sense. He's the one who your friends constantly complain about. He's your drunk phone call. Yes, indeed, I was dating my kryptonite.

While I was in this bad relationship, I happened to work with this guy who had been trying to date me since college. He was a fug in my eyes...short as hell, crooked teeth, and an avid wearer of Fubu. Yet there was something about his persistance that was quite intriguing. He would stop by my cubical and give me compliments. Compliments turned into quick conversations. Quick conversations turned into me venting to him about my horrible boyfriend. I was using him as my therapist until one day I finally accepted his invitation to dinner. That night, I was hoping my boyfriend would do something that would make me change my mind about going on the date. But ofcourse, he disappointed me once again. He was out "club promoting", as usual and had no time to spend with me that night. So I went out with the fug. I was expecting him to show up like he had just jumped out of the Staci Adams clearance rack, when my doorbell rang. "Damn!", I said as I opened the door. I could'nt even hold in my thoughts. He cleaned up nice! Yeah, he was still short, and yeah, he still had crooked ass teeth, but everything else was on point. Hair was lined up, outfit was hot, shoes were nice, cologne was smellin' good. I had no complaints. I immediately saw his potential. I could upgrade this fug. After practically breaking his neck to open every door for me, we arrived at the restaraunt. It was breathtaking. He had made reservations and everything. I couldn't had asked for a more perfect time. Then came the true test...the arrival of the bill. Now if I was with my boyfriend I would have been letting him "hold down a couple of bills" until we got home. And ofcourse I would never get it back. But things were much different with this guy. After reaching for my purse to go dutch, he immediately pushed my hand away, as if I had just insulted him. Yesss...there is a God. After my date with the fug, which I will now call Brian, I was seriously questioning the relationship that I was in. Would I rather stay with a man that was extremely attractive, but was making me feel unhappy, or a man that had potential who treating me like a queen? It's easy to fix crooked teeth, but nearly impossible to turn a hoe into a husband. I broke up with my boyfriend and gave Brian a chance.

I've been dating Brian for over 5 months now, and i've never felt better. I've never been this content with a relationship. Brian is no longer a fug, better yet, he was never a fug. In all actuality, I was the fug, in that I was too superficial and self-conscious to give a good man a chance. I would have preferred my friends complain about my man's actions rather than his looks. The situation with Brian made me take a good look at myself. After deep reflection and a good self-evaluation, I realized that my own lack of confidence was causing superficiality, and ultimately affecting my perception of what a good man was.

A few fugs manage to slip through the cracks. How do you learn to love a fug? Easy, just learn to love yourself first.

DAILY HOROSCOOPS

2006-12-14T08:55:00.000-08:00

SAGITTARIUS - Stop being a scaredy cat, and show your true feelings to someone you care about.

CAPRICORN - Stop being lazy and put in the work. Hard work pays off.

AQUARIUS - Your small gathering won't be any fun. You need to invite everyone.

PISCES - Granny is going to dig into her pocketbook and give more than just a peppermint. She knows you are low on cash.

TAURUS - Finish your Christmas shopping. The stores won't be as crowded as you think. Also splurge a little on yourself. That coat you've been drooling over will be on sale.

CANCER - Get together with the girls and have fun catching up and gossiping.

LEO - Figure out what you want, and go get it.

VIRGO - You can finally stop stressing. The check is in the mail.

LIBRA - Stop stalking that cutie that lives around the corner, and just ask him out.

SCORPIO - No one from your greedy family is home, and Aunt Mary has dropped off her mouth watering 7up cake. Hide it and keep it for yourself.

GEMINI - A "Beyonce/Jay-z" relationship is headed your way. Your future boo will be a romantic and a business partner.

ARIES - Some verbal fallout from a recent confrontation is having big repercussions. Get some exercise to clear your head.

Between Friends, by Smart Cookie

2006-12-13T14:33:00.000-08:00

Tamia's fourth album, "Between Friends", is a SCOOP MUST HAVE! Every single song is a hit, and not just a "radio hit", these are songs that will never get played out. It's rare these days to find a cd that you can just let play from beginning to end. Until I purchased this cd recently, I was listening to my old Mary, and Erykah and Jill Scott cds in hopes that something new would come along. Luckily, I can take the "My Life" off repeat and listen to some new music. Not only can Tamia sang, but the songs are well written, 15 tracks of pure genius. This cd is definitely for the grown ass woman, coming home from a long day. I am sipping a glass of wine and singing along as we speak. Please support Tamia and PURCHASE this cd. This is not a cd that you want to burn. You want to have the real thing in your cd collection. To give you a heads up, though every song is really good, my personal favorites are: Happy, Become Us, Last First Kiss, and Day Dreaming. And those are just the songs that I can't help but put on repeat. Why are you still reading? GO TO THE STORE AND PICK UP THE CD!

DAILY HOROSCOOPS

2006-12-13T11:10:00.000-08:00

ARIES - You have too much on your plate. Ask for help.

TAURUS - The work you have to do has piled so high, it's out of control. Stop procrastinating!

GEMINI - Everyone is putting in their two cents, and yeah, it's quite annoying. But listen, because some of these suggestions are actually pretty good.

LEO - Don't just rely on your intuition. Do your research. In this case it's better to make an informed decision.

VIRGO - Things haven't been going your way, but things will turn around. Don't get your blood pressure all up, relax a little and take the "fuck it" attitude for a while so you're not worn out by the time things brighten up.

LIBRA - Start that big project you've been wanting to attempt. The time is finally right.

SCORPIO - You're beginning to look like new money. You are making major connections that will lead to good deals. But maintain your cool, and don't act as if you've never had anything "nice" before. Do the major celebrating amongst your girls.

SAGITTARIUS - You've got a following. Lead the crew and let them know what needs to be done next.

CAPRICORN - Several people who can make things happen are looking out for you.

AQUARIUS - Stop investing your money into your cousin Pookie's Pre-Paid Legal side hustle, and start investing in the business that you've always wanted to start.

PISCES - Like Aaliyah once said, "If at first you don't succeed,Dust yourself off and try again,You can dust it off and try again"

CANCER - Things happening in your home will prompt you to make some changes in your life.

Santa Claus Is A Black Man

2006-12-13T11:02:00.001-08:00

It's Christmas, last minute shopping and all. I'm sure everyone's credit cards are approaching their limits by now, which means there are a lot of sad faces out there. Here's a laugh to cheer you broke heffa's up! You only have about a week and a half to get your aunties much needed bathrobe. (p.s., There are too many black women out there with tattered, wore down, raggedy ass robes, lol.)

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: Wigs are your friends, by Coffee Bean

2006-12-13T10:36:00.000-08:00

Every woman can vouch for the bad hair day. You get out of bed and you take off your head scarf and marvel at the mangled crown own your head. You knew the night before that your hair was a mess, yet you hoped that a little grease and a “do rag,” would create magic underneath your head. But as you look in the mirror, you realize that maybe you shouldn’t have skipped that appointment with your stylist. Unfortunately, you are in a time crunch to get to work and your hair has that “buck wheat effect.” Not to worry sister, whether you are rocking, dreads, a fro’, or a relaxer I guarantee there is a way for your mane to look fabulous in just five minutes. What’s the magic trick? All the celebrities have them; you just don’t know that they do, probably because you think they went out with the Supremes and Labelle. The huge helmet sized masses on the head of Diana Ross and Patti Labelle’s have been replaced with more versatile and natural looking pieces. Wigs have made a substantial comeback because of their easy maintenance and versatility. They are no longer the half cocked toupee sitting on Mother Perham’s head at the First Missionary Rock of the Olive Baptist Church. They are worn by young women whom by choice, decided to forgo the afro picks, hot combs, and flat irons, in favor of a less stressful more convenient style. There are several types of wigs.

The quick weave- These wigs have a natural looking effect; they may be natural or synthetic. A portion of your own hair (usually the bangs) is parted and styled and the hair piece is inserted right behind the bangs. Blend and style your hair with the piece, add oil sheen or wig spray for shine and you are ready to go.

Regular wig- These wigs cover the entire head. They also can be found in natural and synthetic. You can find these in any style and color you want. To give them a more natural looking effect try to find one that has a part towards the crown of your head. That way the scalp is hidden and it looks more like your own.

Natural vs. Synthetic- These wigs come in both natural and synthetic. The choice is up to you! Warning, you cannot use heat on synthetic hair. So if you are looking for something you can curl and blow-dry like your own, you definitely need natural hair. This may cost you a little more money. These wigs usually run between $75-$150 depending on the maker and the quality. Synthetic wigs are also good to have. Because they are usually less expensive than the Natural wigs, you can buy more and increase the versatility of your styles.

Happy Wig Hunting!

Winter Boob Care, by Pistachio

2006-12-13T10:34:00.000-08:00

OLD ASS BRAS

Let's stop cheating ourselves. I know there is alot of you out there buying $150 jeans, but are still wearing the same old ass bras you had in high school. Still wearing bras that barely fit anymore and have had more than their fair share of wear and tear. Ladies, let em' go, put them out of their misery. An ill-fitting bra can cause back, shoulder and neck pain. Women with larger breasts in particular are more susceptible to discomfort in their upper-torso if their cup sizes are off. The weight of your breasts must be distributed evenly to ensure comfort. No matter how big or small you are, a too-tight bra can lead to bad posture, then back pain. Don't hesitate to get fitted for your proper bra size. Don't feel embarrassed to get this done, as you've all probably seen from Oprah's legendary "Bra episodes", most women are not wearing the correct bra size. I vividly remember being in Victoria's Secret when this woman insisted that she was a D cup when she was clearly something like a triple Z. After arguing with the saleswoman, she finally tried on the larger size and came out looking like a new woman.

ASHY BOOBS

You swore up and down that you put some lotion on this morning, yet your breasts are feeling extra dry. The friction between them and your bra is damn near starting a fire. Chilly air has little humidity, and as a result the skin on and above your breasts may become itchy, irritated, or flaky. To avoid this unexpected ashiness, just make sure you stay hydrated by applying a little more lotion than usual after your morning shower. Also try using a thick lotion before bed. You might even want to do like mom would probably suggest, and just bust out the jar of Vaseline.

LET THEM BREATHE

Because the weather is cooling off, we are all digging in the boxes for our sweaters. When you are all bundled up, you tend to trap sweat which can trigger the growth of bacteria and yeast that can causes blemishes. Avoid blemishes by occasionally wearing thin, breathable layers made from natural fibers, such as 100% cotton or silk. Your wool sweater may be a show stopper but your boobs are suffocating, so let them breathe.

MACKIN' CHEESE AND WINGS, by Coffee Bean

2006-12-12T19:42:00.000-08:00

MACKIN' CHEESE AND WINGS

Use this recipe when dining alone or with company. Follow theses step-by step directions and your meal will turn out wonderful.

Mackin’ Cheese:

You will need:

8x8 glass baking dish, 2 cups of elbow macaroni, 2 cups of Colby-Jack cheese, 2 cups of mild Cheddar cheese, 1 cup of Mozzarella cheese, 2 cans of Campbell’s Cheese Soup, 2 cans of milk, and Cooking spray

1. Preheat oven to 350°
2. In a 2 quart saucepan, bring 10 cups of water to boil
3. Add 2 cups of elbow macaroni to the water and boil according to directions 4. While macaroni is cooking, combine 2 cans of Campbell’s Cheese Soup with 2 cans of milk. Cook for 4-7 minutes under a low-medium heat, till mixture is smooth. Be careful, if the fire is too high, the mixture WILL burn!
5. Combine the three types of cheeses into one bowl and lightly toss together
6. Strain the macaroni when it is done
7. In a large bowl, combine the following: 1 Cheese soup mixture, 2 macaroni, and 3 cups of cheese
8. Stir the ingredients together
9. Coat 8x8 glass baking dish with cooking spray.
10. Pour mixture into greased dish
11. Sprinkle left over cheese on top; the entire top of the macaroni should be covered with cheese
12. Place into a 350° degree oven and cook for 35-45 minutes or until the top layer turns golden brown
13. Remove from oven, let the macaroni stand for at least 30 minutes

Wings:

You will need: 11x14 glass baking dish, 10 chicken wings, 3 tablespoons of garlic powder, 3 tablespoons of onion powder, 1 tablespoon of pepper, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 tablespoon of seasoning salt, Cooking spray, and 4 teaspoons of butter (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 350°
2. Rinse and clean the chicken wings
3. Pat the chicken dry with paper towel
4. Season chicken with 3 tablespoons of garlic powder, 3 tablespoons of onion powder, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 tablespoon pepper, 1 tablespoon of seasoning salt
5. Coat baking dish with cooking spray
6. Place the wings, skin side down in the baking dish
7. Add 4 teaspoons of butter to the dish (optional)
8. Place on the lower rack of the oven
9. Turn wings about 45 minutes into cooking
10. Cook for 1hr and 30 minutes on the lower rack of the oven
11. Remove after 1hr and 30 minutes of cooking
12. Let stand for at least 10 minutes

Music to your ears

2006-12-12T19:38:00.000-08:00

Oh, how I love Christmas music! It's really time to get your grownup on at your new place and throw on the classics. Hey, even if you are at your parents crib for break, you can still put on a christmas cd and relax.

I've picked out several christmas cds for you to pick up. The list is really endless, but here are some of the must haves...

1. Anita Baker - Christmas Fantasy
2. Vince Guaraldi - A Charlie Brown Christmas
3. The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole
4. The Jackson 5 Christmas Album
5. Merry Christmas by Mariah Carey
6. 8 Days of Christmas by Destiny's Child
7. Christmas with Yolanda Adams
8. Mahalia Sings Songs of Christmas by Mahalia Jackson
9. My Kind of Christmas by Christina Aguilera
10. One Wish: The Holiday Album by Whitney Houston
11. This is Christmas by Luther Vandross
12. Christmas Interpretations by Boyz II Men
13. Christmas Collection: 20th century masters by Vanessa Williams
14. Nancy Wilson Christmas
15. The Greatest Holiday Classics by Kenny G

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: The case of the ex, by Butterscotch

2006-12-12T19:35:00.000-08:00

It seems to be a generational thing, but why do women try to be friends with their ex's? At work last week, the older women were saying that having friendly ex's must be a "new thang", because in their day, you changed your number, moved to the other side of town, and switched up your whole routine after a break up. Once you and your ex broke up, it would be "Chuck who?" But now for some reason, us younger women tend to think that we can still be friends with our ex's: ex-boyfriends, ex-booty calls, ex-whatever. So I must ask, is your ex a friend or foe? Unfortunately, I think we all know the answer, but why is it so hard to let go? In no way am I suggesting that your ex has to become your worst enemy, but an effort to become friends with an ex usually just ends up in disaster. You end up comparing yourself to every new woman in his life, while plotting every woman's sweetest revenge: For your ex to realize that he has made a mistake in breaking up with you, cheating on you, not wanting a serious relationship with you, etc. Whatever the case may be, you want him to feel as if no other woman can compare to you. So what do you do? Despite the fact that you are now "friends", you find yourself still sleeping with him, which results in you catching old feelings and still wanting him to act like he's your man. Most of the time you are just waiting for him to have regrets, but what happens when there are no regrets? He's now happy and content with his new life that only includes you as his "friend", while you continue to let yourself hurt because you are hoping for something that's not going to happen. Even if you no longer have feelings for your ex, I highly recommend that you examine if your ex is even friend material. A lot of my ex's had no understanding of the word honesty, so how could we possibly have a true friendship if they're bound to lie about something as little as the color of their socks? Therefore, my advice is to go cold turkey, completely ditch the ex until you have given yourself ample time to reflect on your past relationship and relinquish any old feelings before you consider your ex worthy of being a friend (look at old photos, cry a lil' bit, get pissed, rip up the photos, etc.). If you've gotten over your ex, and you truly feel as if you and your ex can maintain a healthy friendship, then go ahead, make your ex one of your best buddies. But be cautious, make sure that you aren't liable to fall back into your "old routine" because you WILL NOT be fully capable of receiving the new cutie who wants to be your man AND friend, if you are carrying old baggage.

Work Gossip 101

2006-12-11T12:25:00.000-08:00

While I was at work last week, I found myself in the midst of some "juicy" gossip. I noticed a few workers were huddled around the water cooler steadily whispering. Ofcourse, i'm nosy, so I suddenly became thirsty. The conversation was in reference to my boss. Supposedly, she's sleeping with the Fed Ex man, who was flirting with the intern, who supposedly was caught giving the janitor "quite a mess to clean up" (READ BETWEEN THE LINES LADIES). Anyway, my boss and I are really cool, and I ended feeling quite uncomfortable knowing a little too much about her personal life. When you find yourself in the middle of "don't tell anyone I told you this but" gossip sessions, do you walk away feeling empowered or guilty? There are actually many advantages to staying "in the know," but finding out unofficial information can also put you in an awkward spot. To be blunt: You don't want to find yourself in the middle of some shit at work...it's not a good look.

Clearly, there's a good way to gossip at work and a bad way. How can you tell which is which? I will let you know...

BAD GOSSIP

1. Bad gossip is petty. This isn't high school. Unless you're working at a beauty shop, talking about Karen's bad weave is off limits. Same goes for any conversation about the sloppy gyro Grady brought for lunch after his gastric bypass surgery.

2. Bad gossip is indiscreet. Why in the hell would you tell Martha that Leah is interviewing for better jobs? If you only knew that Martha has been trying to get her job for the longest. Now you she's going to pass it through the grapevine so it can get back to your boss. Leah will be fired, Martha will be upgraded, and you no longer get Leah's younger sister's discount at Saks. Damn.

3. Bad gossip is intended to harm someone. Ok, so you don't like that bitch in payroll. But if every time you open your mouth all that comes out is a new complaint about her, pretty soon people are going to get annoyed and aren't going to like you.

GOOD GOSSIP

1. Good gossip is relevant. Your boss wants to hire Keisha to be your assistant. However, you know first hand that Keisha takes 4 hour lunches, 4 "breaks", makes 4 hour personal calls, and takes 4 good pens from the supply room everyday. In these cases, share this information with your boss. If your job is going to be directly affected, there's no harm in dishing out a person's work habits. It's not like you're making things up, you are simply stating the obvious. Everyone knows damn well that it shouldn't take Keisha 2 hours to deliver a package next door.

2. Good gossip helps people make decisions. Tyrone, the gay mail clerk, can't decide what to wear for casual Friday, so he asks you your opinion. It's either the see-through mesh muscle shirt and fitted flares, or a polo and slacks. You happen to know that the homophobic Manager from out of town will be in the office on Friday to secretly monitor the workers. This is a situation where you want to give Tyrone the inside scoop. And besides, Tyrone gives you handy beauty tips and a heads up for who's on the down low...you can't afford for him to get fired.

3. Good gossip helps people improve. Before you share some info, especially if it's something negative you've heard about the person you're about to share it with - ask yourself: What can this person do with this information? Is it something he or she can change? Gary told you that Grace, who greets the customers, is notrious for having stank ass breath. Unfortunately, you also overhead the top execs discussing it over lunch. Grace is a sweetheart, and her job is at stake, as well as her reputation. Rather than laugh at the usual doo doo breath jokes in the break room, quietly pull Grace aside. Be discreet and offer Grace a peppermint. Though feelings may be hurt, this is a case where you must spill the beans. I guarantee the next week, Grace will be reeking of Listerine.

FAKE N' BAKE: Reindeer Cookies

2006-12-11T06:17:00.000-08:00

Ok, so a lot of us independent sistas cannot cook. However, as smart educated women, we have the ability to dibble and dabble in a little trickery, also known as Fake n' Bakin'. For those who don't know what that is, Fake n' Bakin' is when you take something store bought or pre-cooked, pre-made, and just add a small twist to it, in which you can call it your own. :) With the Holidays coming up, we've found the cutest little christmas cookies! These are sure to impress your handsome new neighbor, or you can even slap these on a christmas platter and bring them to your boyfriends, "Momma Payne". Enjoy!

Take note: Be creative ladies, take this recipe to the limit. You aren't solely limited to reindeers. For example, get chocolate icing and create black santas! That will get you automatic brownie points...trust me.

Ingredients:

1 roll (16.5 oz) Pillsbury Create n' Bake refrigerated sugar cookies, 1/4 cup all purpose flour, 1 cup vanilla ready-to-spread frosting, 64 small pretzel twists, 64 semisweet chocolate chips (about 1/4 cup), 16 gumdrops (cut if half)

Directions:

Heat oven to 350°F. In large bowl, break up cookie dough; work flour into dough until well blended. Shape roll of cookie dough into triangle-shaped log. (If dough is too soft to cut, place in freezer 30 minutes.)

With thin sharp knife, cut dough into 32 (1/4-inch-thick) triangular slices; place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake 7 to 11 minutes or until set. Cool 1 minute; remove from cookie sheet to cooling rack. Cool completely, about 15 minutes.

Frost cookies with frosting. Place 2 pretzel twists on each triangle near corners for antlers. Lightly press 2 chocolate chips into each cookie for eyes and 1 halved gumdrop for nose. Store between sheets of waxed paper in tightly covered container.

Ladies, don't forget about the christmas tins and/or platters. You are most likely to find cuteness at Target!

WEEKLY WOOF: NO SHE DIDN'T

2006-12-11T06:15:00.000-08:00

WE, AT THREESCOOPS REALLY HAVE NO COMMENT ON THIS ONE...

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: Can you at least leave the damn tip? By Merry Cherry

2006-12-11T06:13:00.000-08:00

I am really wondering how to get through a relationship when you are much more successful than the other party. Say for instance, you are kickin' it with a really nice guy who has never had a steady job, and has been working on the same degree for like 7 years, a super duper senior. You, on the otherhand, are a salaried employee with benefits and your own place and degree. Most articles in magazines only discuss this issue regarding how to deal with a man who is insecure with this type of situation, but let's also be realistic, there is a new wave of man mooches out there, and guys who are more than content with their woman picking up the tab, as well as their asses from their mama's crib on the daily. So, what about us? How do we deal with such a situation? Regardless if the guy is an extremely nice person, the fact that you have to constantly "hold him down until he get's paid" can wear very thin, very quick, to the point where you just outright have a funky attitude.

Here's what I came up with...I think as long as your guy is very aware of his financial situation and is vastly trying to improve it, in addition to making sure that he is going over and beyond with his other "contributions", you won't get annoyed, and the difference in economical status shouldn't be an issue. When I say other "contributions", I basically mean...If you have to be atm machine, then he damn sure better be opening the doors for you, offering to take out your garbage, protecting you rather than leaving you to fend for yourself in a robbery, lol, cooking hamburger helper, massaing feet with our without corns (if with corns, with no complaints or smart ass comments), etc. Basically, Every masculine trait the woman possesses outside the relationship , such as making more money, must be balanced out with a masucline trait for the man inside the relationship. Also, when you go out, maybe you have to get the bill at a more expensive venture, but make sure he picks up the check when you do things like pizza and movies. But ladies, there are some things we have to work on as well...If you know your guy is doin side work for his uncle, why in the hell are you trying to go to a fancy restaraunt every weekend? Switch up your outings, maybe do one expensive thing a month, and keep the rest light. The only goal should be to have fun, whether you are spending 200 bucks or 20 bucks. We all know that a late night trip to Popeye's and the liquor store can be just as satisfying as a fancy pasta dish and wine at a restaraunt. If you are the dominant earner in the couple, you don't neccessarily have to downplay your accomplishments, but don't make the fact that you have a bigger income a constant issue, otherwise you'll set yourself up to feel resentful, and your significant other will feel like a child. There has to be a level of respect where both of you feel the other is contributing is some way.

Well girlies, i'm signing out, I can't stay up too late. I do have a job that I cannot lose due to tardiness, otherwise, I will be the one footing the bill for the 5 pc. dark with biscuits and a side of mashed potatoes and gravy, mmmmm...

Courting, by Coffee Bean

2006-12-10T19:12:00.000-08:00

Courting . . . .

I was once mortified and embarrassed when my mother used an ancient relic to describe my relationship status. A shaking of the head would ensue and I wished my mother more up-to-date with relationship jargon. The word was beyond “old school!” But experience has taught me to have nostalgia for the past. To respect the past, helps you appreciate the present-- especially, when you and your significant other are “courting.”

Courting is when a man actively seeks the affection of a women and woos her with non-sexual social activities thus leading to a relationship and perhaps marriage. Courting can occur during many facets of the relationship. However, it begins before you and the man are a couple. You are treated as a lady, and I repeat it is non-sexual in nature; thus, there is no pressure to “put out.” Courting should be the preferred method for dating; it also helps to eliminate dates that lead to instant booty. It helps you make a level-headed decision about a relationship. Courting also allows you to see the potential in a man. Too often, people jump into relationships without getting to know the person whom they are dating. It is only after they have had sex and done some shacking that they realize they are dating a stranger. Courting allows you do to the following:

Diminish sexual tension
Get to know a man
Understand your relationship needs
See the potential in a man
Enjoy life and youth

If you are fortunate to meet a man and begin “courting,” consider the following list of dates. They allow for maximum courting potential!!!

Bowling Alley - This is a neutral date. It allows you to participate in a physical activity while still creating competition and conversation . Unlike going to dinner or lunch, bowling does not place you in awkward conversational situations. You are not forced to endure a stale conversation with a man who lacks personality. Going bowling allows you see the athletic capabilities and coordination of your date.

Get Together with His Friends- Yes you may be uncomfortable around new people. However, it is beneficial to you if you get to see this man when he is around his friends. The mask he wears when you are on a date is removed when he is around his friends. Men are usually on their best behavior on the first date. Around their friends, they are unwound and relaxed. You get to experience their humorous side as well as their ability to defend themselves (men have a tendency to talk shit about each other). If they can battle with their friends, they might not be as lame as you thought.

A Concert or Play- Whether it is on the Chitlin Circuit or its William Shakespeare. Plays and concerts are great dates because they can create rousing and intellectual conversation afterwards. Not to mention the close theater seats and dim lighting add a romantic touch to the date.

A Walk in the Park- Free 99 ! You can walk hand and hand and you can enjoy the outdoors. This date belongs in that giddy stage: the mention of each others names causes both you and him to reveal your pearly whites. Conversation is the ultimate goal for this date. Perhaps you can have a discussion about where the relationship is headed or what the other person seeks in a mate. This date can be used to have the heart to heart conversation you have been craving.

Apple Picking- The non-traditional date! The apple harvest season is a beautiful season. The weather is getting crisp and the supple colors of autumn sing romance throughout the air. This date gives you an excuse to nudge up to you special interest or play damsel in distress. The results, however, apple pie, apple preserves, fried apples, apple cider, allow you to show off your culinary talents. Great way to score some brownie points! If you can’t boil water, you can usually find a do-it-yourself caramel apple kit in the produce section of your grocer.
Have fun and be open-mined. A man who believes in courting will remind you that you are a lady and that you deserve the utmost respect. He will restore your confidence in love and dating and leave your heart smiling with love and adoration.

MEET EVINN

2006-12-10T18:56:00.000-08:00

Ladies, meet Evinn... Evinn is currently working on a dual degree in Accounting and Business Management. Upon his graduation in May 2007, he plans to acquire his CPA, and work as a private accountant. He also would like to pursue his long-term career goal of starting his own accounting firm. Evinn is also quite the athlete. Outside of the classroom and office, Evinn is the star of his college basketball team, and is droppin' 30 points easily on the court. In his spare time, Evinn enjoys boat riding and going out to clubs. But don't get the wrong impression, he is far from the typical "club goer". Evinn enjoys spending time with his grandmother, and constantly gives back to his community's children by volunteering at his local area basketball camps. Evinn is looking for a woman that has both beauty and brains, enjoys a good workout, is family orientated, has a good sense of humor, and knows how to throw down in the kitchen. Evinn is very adventurous, so he is also looking for a woman who isn't afraid to try new things. Though very adventurous, Evinn is also laid-back, and can find enjoyment in relaxing on his couch and watching some good ol' television. On a perfect date, Evinn would enjoy cooking a nice meal for his lady friend, while snuggling up for a good movie afterwards. Ladies, need I say more?

If you want some of this caramel delight, please contact us at: contact@threescoopsonline.com

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

2006-12-10T09:01:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone,

Happy Holidays! We are coming upon our 1 year anniversary and we plan to celebrate with the launch of a brand new site, complete with mouth watering features. As you can see, we've moved from Wordpress to Blogger. Because we are in transition and trying not to lose our old articles, in addition to new posts, we will feature an old article once a day labeled, "TODAY'S THROWBACK". This month will be filled with articles full of Christmas cheer and laughter. Enjoy!

Best,

Editor-in-Chief

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: I Find Myself Acting Like A Guy, by Pecan Perfection

2006-12-10T08:57:00.000-08:00

“If…Most men would just realize that most women just want a little security; then maybe just maybe, I wouldn’t be writing this article.”

-Pecan Perfection

Or maybe I would, because this is for all the sisters that sit and wait for that call back, or for all the sisters, that go out to the club with their girlfriends, but steady check their watch because in actuality; they really don’t want to be there to begin with. And, this is for the girls that were so into a guy, but after watching Oprah just realized that, “He’s just not that into you”. I too, am a victim of a broken heart, and time and time again I’ve uttered the infamous words of Andre Benjamin’s song, "Prototype.” Dammit, I think I’m in love again. But then, one day something happened; I learned to separate the emotions. Or be damn good at not showing them at all. You know the emotions; the ones that come along with sex. The emotions that come along with not getting what you want, for example, the dates, the holidays together, the gifts to give and receive, and the “normal” things that are done in a relationship. Then it kicks in with the next dude, and the next one, and your ‘Bull-Shit’ detector starts to get the best of you so much that you use your radar for everyone. You’ve found yourself, “acting like a dude.” For the most part, I’m using this term because men are usually less emotional than women. So now, you are now emotionally detached. And that’s “actin’ like a dude.”

The dictionary defines emotional as:

• Arousing or characterized by intense feeling• To have feelings that are easily excited and openly displayed• Based on emotion rather than reason

Detached is defined as:

• Separate or disconnected, aloof.

Nicole Williams, single for a year now, describes her reason’s for being emotionally detached from some men she meets. “I just don’t want to go through the drama, I’m tired”. Well, I am too girl. www.coping.org gives insight as to why people become emotionally detached as they deal with life’s stressors. One reason is that we feel we can get control of the situation. Ahh yes… Control! We want to control, the daily things that happen in our lives, we want to control the way others perceive us, but let’s keep in mind that control and responsibility are too different things, and one must take full responsibility in order to have control in there lives. Is this clicking yet? So…you meet a guy. You do or say things in order for him to like you. You want to have control over the way he will behave. Well like it or not, he already knows how he’s going to act, even if you are trying to CATER 2 Him. Solution: Be yourself. That’s what attracted him to you in the first place. For most guys, yes it’s the booty jeans or the fact you had one too many drinks but trust, he won’t be around long enough for that dream wedding in your head. Let’s get back to the basics. You want control. Ginger Blume, PhD writes that you should avoid emotional detachment, even if we do want to protect our own feelings. Um.... 2nd reason; hope you’re taking notes, could be to protect our own feelings. I mean this makes complete sense. Who wants to “get played"? Especially, after you’ve slept with him and noticed that those intense feelings you had for him were not reciprocated. The last reason is a theory simply called the attachment theory. It speculates that early in childhood, your attachment to your parents stimulates and develops the part of your brain that allows for emotional growth. If you have a dysfunctional relationship with your parents, the theory is that the emotional centers in your brain become disconnected, and they don't fully develop. Um... ring a bells a bell for some of us women who didn’t have a father growing up. I’m not a therapist or a doctor; these are all merely experiences from my own personal life, a couple generalizations mixed with a little research. Ways to tell you are “acting like a dude”, oops I mean emotionally detached are:

• calling for booty calls after excessive drinking. Especially calling someone you would have not intentions sleeping with if you were sober.

• If a guy is showing too much affection, you pull away, because you think it may give you control. You know the ball is in your court. He’s the one who is whipped

• If you are in a so-called committed relationship but still have “friends with benefits”• If you are having sex with a person and can be okay with the fact that he did not think of you as, “wifey material.”

• You don’t give yourself “me time” in between relationships or flings.

So if you can identify with any of these signs, in my opinion, I think you should “think.” Think about your ideal situation, are you finding it with your current significant other. Do you want more? Do you want to be seen in public with each other, come on, I know you do. Write a list. I know Star Jones said to do this and this is supposedly how she met “AL” hum... but that’s a whole ‘nother' topic. Seriously, write a list out with what “you” want out of a mate. Be reasonable. Yes, men are human too. Get a hobby. Do something that you’ve always wanted to do. Kickboxing classes, baking classes’…things that you are interested in always keep your mind off the drama. Remember my comments and suggestions are just those, and it could very well be a broad generalization. Don’t be afraid if you may need to talk to someone, a counselor, best friend, or your mom. I am a hopeless romantic. And I dream of the day, where I can find love. Until then, I guess I’ll drink that Smirnoff and call, “what’s his name” when I get horny, and not even cry when he leaves in the morning, because that’s just how you have to play the game sometimes.

Rum Raisin Presents: The Snuggle & The Hoe Hoe Hoe

2006-12-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

Hey girlies, after a month long hangover, i'm here to bring some christmas gifts. It's getting quite chilly outside, the perfect time to snuggle up with that special someone. This Christmas enjoy The Snuggle as you are cozied up by the fireplace. Merry Drunkness!

The Snuggle

Ingredients:

2 cups milk, 3 1/2 oucnse best quality dark chocolate, bittersweet or semisweet (as preferred), 1 cinnamon stick, 2 teaspoons honey, 1 teaspoon brown sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, 2 tablespoons dark rum (or as much as you can handle), Marshmallows (optional) Whipped Cream (optional)

Directions:

Put the milk into a saucepan and break the chocolate into pieces and add to the milk along with a cinnamon stick, honey, and sugar and heat gently until the chocolate is melted. Add the vanilla and mix with a small hand whisk and still whisking, add a spoonful of the rum first and taste to see if you want more. Add more sugar if you want this sweeter, too. Take out the cinnamon stick and pour into 2 cappuccino or caffe latte cups. Add Marshmallows and/or Whipped Cream if you want.

Hoe Hoe Hoe is our special spiked Egg Nog. Trust me, after a few cups of this, you are bound to be hoein' it up under the mistletoe.

Hoe Hoe Hoe

Ingredients:

Carton of Egg Nog, Bourbon, Hennessy, Freshly grated Nutmeg (for garnish), Chocolate shavings (for garnish), Peppermint stick (optional)

Directions:

Add Egg Nog, Bourbon, and Brandy in a blender (amounts depends upon taste), blend it up, pour into a festive cup, sprinkle nutmeg and chocolate shavings on top. If you are having a party you may want to get a little cute and throw a peppermint stick inside of the glass for decoration.