It's a typical Saturday night at the club. I'm enjoying my overpriced martini when the most hideous creature sits right next to me. A total fug...a fuzzy three-week old cornroll havin', old spice stankin', cat daddy suit and fake bling wearin' fug. Ofcourse, my girl is a few feet away talkin' to the fine Metrosexual brotha, and i'm stuck with someones uncle. I purposely try to act uninterested, but the shit doesn't work, and a funky mix of dookie breath and Winterfresh blows in my direction as he says,"Hey there, can I have your number?" Unfortunately, it's not as easy to say no as you would think. I could bluntly say "no", and risk getting cursed out and embarrassed. Guys are startin' to get straight ignant when it comes to rejection, talkin' bout, "You uppity bitch! I ain't really want yo' number anyway" etc. etc. you catch my drift. Or I could lie and say I have a boyfriend, but ofcourse that doesn't work anymore. Most guys don't even care, and still want your number...damn. Last, but not least, you could always give out a fake number, but now everyone has a damn cell phone, and guys are bold enough to call you right in the club to make sure that you've given out the correct number. And don't get caught up, you will once again be cursed out in the club. Or you have those guys who can't even take a hint, and will actually walk up to you and say, "excuse me, I think you gave me the wrong number" As if the shit was an accident...what a dumbass. But girlies, there is a God. There is someting calleld a rejction hotline, 617-861-3962. You simply give out this number instead of your own, and later on at night when the fug tries to give you a call, he will hear a humorous recording stating that you are not interested. For a phone number specific to your area, simply visit http://www.rejectionhotline.com/. This site is crazy too, you can even get business cards made with this number to pass out to fugs! It's pure genius if you ask me! I'm sure with this piece of information your trip to the club this weekend will be a little more enjoyable. Shut 'em down!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Can I Getcha Number? by Pistachio
It's a typical Saturday night at the club. I'm enjoying my overpriced martini when the most hideous creature sits right next to me. A total fug...a fuzzy three-week old cornroll havin', old spice stankin', cat daddy suit and fake bling wearin' fug. Ofcourse, my girl is a few feet away talkin' to the fine Metrosexual brotha, and i'm stuck with someones uncle. I purposely try to act uninterested, but the shit doesn't work, and a funky mix of dookie breath and Winterfresh blows in my direction as he says,"Hey there, can I have your number?" Unfortunately, it's not as easy to say no as you would think. I could bluntly say "no", and risk getting cursed out and embarrassed. Guys are startin' to get straight ignant when it comes to rejection, talkin' bout, "You uppity bitch! I ain't really want yo' number anyway" etc. etc. you catch my drift. Or I could lie and say I have a boyfriend, but ofcourse that doesn't work anymore. Most guys don't even care, and still want your number...damn. Last, but not least, you could always give out a fake number, but now everyone has a damn cell phone, and guys are bold enough to call you right in the club to make sure that you've given out the correct number. And don't get caught up, you will once again be cursed out in the club. Or you have those guys who can't even take a hint, and will actually walk up to you and say, "excuse me, I think you gave me the wrong number" As if the shit was an accident...what a dumbass. But girlies, there is a God. There is someting calleld a rejction hotline, 617-861-3962. You simply give out this number instead of your own, and later on at night when the fug tries to give you a call, he will hear a humorous recording stating that you are not interested. For a phone number specific to your area, simply visit http://www.rejectionhotline.com/. This site is crazy too, you can even get business cards made with this number to pass out to fugs! It's pure genius if you ask me! I'm sure with this piece of information your trip to the club this weekend will be a little more enjoyable. Shut 'em down!
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