Carmel Swirls' Weigh in on the BET Awards

When I was about 10 years old I remember anxiously awaiting summer to get popsicles, play "mother may I" in the drive-way of my house, and play outside until the street lights came on. Everyday my mother would utter the same words, " You smell like outdoors!" Everyday was the same until award show day. When the MTV awards came on I would wait all day inside until dinner, grab my plate and sit in front of the television for the 3 hour spectacle. Pre-shows, post-shows, the MAIN EVENT!!! It was all so much as I watched the stars I adored so much in awe. Fast Forwarding to the year 2007, as watched this years BET awards I was thoroughly disappointed. The show started with MoNique's usual parody of Beyonce's latest dance moves. While I myself am a full figured woman who enjoys seeing this sort of empowerment, I only wish she had gone with something a little less predictable. Usually Mo sports the hottest hair and outfits on the award show, but this year I might say she was looking like the drag queen from Holiday Heart. I mean her wig attempts were absolutely horrid, and her poorly tailored wardrobe failed miserably. At this point I will move on from Mo though because I love her and I think she just had an off show...maybe next year will be better.

The performances were another dismal point in the award show. We started with Jennifer Hudson and the Jennifer Holliday. While the performance was a highlight in black history...I am completely and utterly tired of J Hud singing this song. If this is the last time I hear it, it would still be too soon. Furthermore How could she go on to win, 3 awards?!?!?!? She does not even have an album yet? Since when did we start handing out awards for one hit wonders?!?!? ( That question goes for all the other award shows as well) While the Beyonce performance was on point, and Neyo and Fabalous were okay, Fifty could have saved it. I mean who the H*** does he think he is?!?!?! HE completely and utterly disrespected everyone in that audience, not to mention every person that has supported his sorry black a**! And while he tried to correct it by going on 106th and Park the next day these were merely the urgings of his public relations agent. I'm not buying it!!!

On a high note I will commend BET for recognizing the late Gerald Levert, and Don Cheadle for his work in awareness!! And Diana Ross held it down with her speech.

All in all the award show was okay. They get two thumbs to the side. I hope next year they step it up and I can have that same childhood excitement I once knew.

The Fan-F*ckin-Tastic Passion Party

Hello all, this is Cinnamon Spice and its been awhile since I've posted. But I've got goodies today, so listen up... or point your eyes to the screen and read..hehe.
So this past April 28th I had a interesting day. It started with my frustrated flurry of emotions which was making me panic and turn into a big ole' baby. I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to get up and prepare for my party or anything, I just wanted to chill, watch movies and take a nap, even though at that time I just woke. So the Bf had to whip me into shape, telling me to focus and get happy to show these ladies later on a good time at their Bachlorette Passion Party. So after packing up the car, getting lost even with the directions in my hand (and I wasn't driving, I was driving my bf crazy while he got us lost, hehe) and the finally getting there. I took a deep breath and put on a smile to greet my passion party hostess.
I put all my stuff down in the living room and go straight to the bathroom to breath and put myself together. I was just in a funky mood and unfunk-a-fying myself so I can make some money. Because basically its this, no one will buy anything from a grumpy person.
It took me at least 20 minutes to set up my table and my games the way I liked it, while I was doing this the ladies were socializing and drinking already. And country music was blasting right behind me, I knew these ladies would be fun. I finally gather the ladies to the couches and asked them "How you ladies doing tonight?" And the oldest lady out of the group leaned over with a slight grin and yelled "Fan-F*ckin-Tastic!" Which of course started off the whole night with a shot of happiness.... I cracked up! If you were there to see this woman's face, you'd just know that you've witness a classic moment in time! Hilarious! I found that for the rest of the night I was playing a game between doing my best to keep this drunken lasses focused on what I was saying and not just sitting in a corner with a drink in my hand watching them. I mean, they were seriously silly! I found out later that they had been drinking for 3 hours before I arrived, which was perfect because they picked me right up out of the funky mood I was in and we had more than a rocking fun time. I even made over $500 in sales with this hip-old cat ladies.
It was great, I left that night with money in my bags and a drunken slur in my talk. Oh yea, these ladies made me drink after drink. I was soo glad that I didn't have to drive.

One thing I did notice:
I sometimes play a Sensuality Game (test) with my party participants and I have noticed since I started playing this game that a lot of women are getting their healthy dose of sensuality in their lives. Getting the spice of life that creates a juicy past that you'd love to share in your old age. So what I've decided to do is post one of my sensuality games and you can see where you place in the numbers of it all. The aim of the game is to get the most points. And if you're score is significantly low, like in the 50s and below.... then I'd say you need to ask yourself something.
Am I loving myself? Am I loving myself enough?


Quiz:

In the last 6 months, I've made love in the living room:
Once........ 10pts
Twice........15pts

In the past, I've made love in:
A Car...........5pts
A Pool..........10pts
The Ocean....20pts
A Limo.........25pts
A Boat.........30pts
An Airplane......50

In the last six months, I've enjoyed:
A Candlelight dinner........5
A Sensual Massage.........10
A Gift of Flowers.............10
A Erotic Movie.................15
A Lover's Weekend.........20

When it comes to vibrators:
I own one..............10pts
I use it with my lover......25pts

I make love:
Once a week or less.......5pts
Two or three times a week.......10pts
Four to six times a week..........25pts
Daily..............................50pts


My Sensuality Total __________




Thank you for taking the time to read.
Peace n blessings to you and yours,
Cinnamon Spice

ZZZZZZZ.....

Well, last night, I attempted to watch the Oscars, but they were boring as hell. So boring that I didn't even bother to try to catch the Dreamgirls performance. But congrats to Jennifer Hudson, and here is the footage of the performance for those who missed it as well. Warning: There's a lot of hollering! I never realized how strong the Dreamgirl's voices really are until seeing this performance. But regardless, it was good hollering that was on key, I won't name any names, but some of the other R&B singers might want to take note on hollerin' 101. Enjoy!

WOOF. AND WEEKLY WORD: MOONWALKER

It's pretty damn cold outside, which means that you probably are wearing your thick socks. I have no problem wearing thick white socks with heeled boots to give my toes that extra cushion, and to make sure they are nice and toasty. However, it's CRUCIAL that your pants cover up your sock situation! I have been known to throw on a pair of Halloween socks during laundry time, but you better believe they are not visible. If you plan on throwing on a pair on gym socks, prior to leaving out of the house, do a test run by sitting in a chair to make sure your socks are incognito. I just so happened to come across this WOOF at my day job. Not only are the socks visible, but the athletic logo is also very visible! This is a definite no no for work, lol. This person has now acquired the nickname "Socks".



This brings me to another WEEKLY WORD: MOONWALKER

Moonwalker - Moonwalkers are women who visibly wear thick socks with dress shoes/boots. Moonwalkers can also be used to define the thick sock and shoe combination. Only Michael Jackson can get away with thick white socks and black loafers, and I'm sure that if he was on the street in the 07 wearing moonwalkers, he would get a WOOF too.

Need a job? by Smart Cookie

For those of us who are still obtaining degrees, on the brink of graduation and the entrance to the most dreadful 9 to 5, it's almost that time to start looking for work. It's no longer cool to walk from business to business with a resume in hand, in hopes that someone is hiring. There is a web full of opportunities, and most corporations are relying on the Internet to post their job openings. Here are a few helpful online job sites...


HotJobs.com and Monster.com
These are the most obvious online job sites. Though there are a lot of job postings on these sites, there are also a lot of scam jobs. Not to mention that everyone goes on Monster and Hot Jobs, so the competition will be pretty tough. Everybody and they momma will be applying to the job that you find interesting.

Job-hunt.org
Rated the best site for finding work by Forbes, this site doesn't play games. Not only does it have a large search engine for finding work, but it also provides job research help, online job searching basics (how to begin searching), and online resume advice!

Job-Central.com
This site is a search engine that searches through overs 2600 company/employer sites, then finds the appropriate postings and delivers them in daily e-mails and RSS feeds.

Indeed.com
This is another search engine that goes after postings not just on employer sites, but also on major job boards, blogs and newspaper and professional association listings.

Mediabistro.com
If you are interesting in media careers this is the site for you. You can find jobs in television, magazine publishing, pr/marketing, radio, online/new media, etc. Just a side not, Harpo Studios tends to post their job openings on here, so you know it's legit.

Idealist.org
This site is dedicated to nonprofit jobs.

Chronicle.com
If you check on the career page, there is a ton of information for those looking for work in higher education.

College/University online job boards
Also, utilize any online job postings that your school might have. These are great because the employers have established a relationship with your institution which means if your credentials are on point, you are likely to get hired over someone from another school. If you are out of school already, get a hook up and get one of your friends to search their university's job board for you.

Company sites
For the most part, every business has a website. So if you are interested in a particular company, simply search their site for job openings. If they don't list them on their site, they will more than likely direct you to the site where they list them.


GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SEARCH!

WEEKLY WORD: CLOWN CAR

Clown Car - An extremely small car, more than likely a two-door, that is always packed beyond capacity with the driver's friends and/or family. Though the clown car is quite snug, it's always the first option amongst friends to take to the club because it doesn't take much to fill up its tank, and it has the ability to get into nearly any parking space.


Ex. Gurrrl, I heard Kristen couldn't afford the car note on that benz she just bought. And she had to trade it in for a clown car. I guess she'll be driving us to the party this weekend.

Even A Passionately Peaceful Being Must Vent with a Vengeance

Well well, how to start. I guess I’ll start with waking up in the morning…. Well it was rough getting up at 5:30am again since I did it the morning before and Im a late bird, I like to wake up in the early afternoon, like 11am, 12pm.
Either way, my bf pushes me out of the bed gently and Im up and slowly running. We are late getting me to the train (blue line) from Long Beach to Los Angeles. I was going to pick up the front door key to my dad’s apartment. So I was going to have to take the blue line to the green line…..get off, say hello to dad, get the key and then get back on the train, back to the blue line, to the red line, to the orange line and then one final bus to my street and then walk to the crib…. (and I’ve done this whole charade before and it’s tiring) So after all that, I get in the apartment and piss cuz I had been holding it since the red line. And take a bath to relax and slowly get prepared for this passion party I had coming that night and maybe take a nap for my tired ass.
I finally lay my ass down to fall slightly into a dream when the nerve wrecking door bell buzzes.
Now, Im not here at my dad’s crib continuously, Im all over the place and no one should have been visiting anyway, so I didn’t know to answer or not. So I call dad to make sure it wasn’t him at the door. And the door bell kept buzzing, and frantically. After grumpiness and almost getting pissed I talk to the person at the door through the raggedy intercom to find out it’s the crazy DHL man dropping off a package of mine. (Now, Im glad he has as crazy as he was to get me my sh*t)
In the package was my brand new business cards that I think are f*cking awesome (to get tubular on ya) So that put a smile on my face, also when I was looking through the package I’ve receive since I was gone, I got one from one my College soror sista, Lydia. It was a late Valentine gift and card, and the words on the card made me cry from joy. I was loved!!
So after half-way taking a nap I just decided to just get dressed. Now I already knew that I was going to be late to this Passion party that was supposed to start at 5Pm!!! Which is ridiculous in whatever city you live in to have a party at 5pm on a Friday night…. Its way TOO f*cking early… people gotta get off work, get through traffic and still get to their destination, beit their homes to change their clothes or just to get to the part itself. And that’s true in Chicago and definitely true in California. So I don’t know what the Hostess was thinking, oh yea I know, SHE WASN’T thinking at all!
And plus, I had already warned the hostess two nights previous that I knew I was going to be late because I would be waiting for my father to get off work to borrow his car. Now, this day, Friday…. My dad doesn’t get to me with the car until 6pm and this chick lives at least an hour east of where I was coming from. And there was HELLA traffic…. I mean, 20mi per hour, stop and go traffic for long stretches of road. And the chick kept blowing up my phone!!!!
Now, at this time, Im feeling all the energy from her and her people through her voice and her replies…. It was nothing I could do, I couldn’t do any magic to make the traffic disappear, I couldn’t have said “biddy-boppity-boo” and then be in her house all set up and everything. Naw, it didn’t happen that way. I got to the party 3 hours later (2 and a half in traffic) and I felt the frustration as soon as I got in the door. But I didn’t care, cuz in my mind I was thinking “Sh*t, my services are free!! Free!! They don’t pay for my gas….sh*t they don’t pay for sh*t of mine, they just sit there waiting to be entertained! Which Im happy to do for those that are grateful and receptive… not for the b*tches that’s just looking for the next come up. And if I feel like Im getting too much flax from these heifers then I won’t even unpack and I’ll get back In the car and drive right back home.”

So I didn’t play any passion games with them, I passed out the rest of the gifts I had left. And I presented just a bit of the stuff I had, and then I started taking orders…and still got over $300.00 in retail sales!! I still got ya da money, and for the travel and attitudes I was receiving, I had better had left with something instead of nothing. So all in all, I vented to my other college soror Lindsay all the way back home on my celly. I talked to my mom and some friends from college, even my sponsor. People that love me!
So now I'm done venting, now on to the positive side of things.
I’m ever grateful for these shining stars that live in my life. Thank you Universe for all the blessings you have given me and are giving me! You’re the best! I love Earth, Mother and Father. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Peace n blessings to all,
Kiwi

The broke & the fameless, by Smart Cookie

So, tonight, I was able to sneak my way into Fashion Week. I know, I should be frontin' like Threescoops just has it like that, but we keep it real here. Luckily, I had a major hookup and was given an unused name on "THE LIST". I avoided the black girl with a list like the plague and went to the white woman, lol. Ya'll all know damn well the black woman would have busted me out and called me on my fake name. I mean, how many black women do you know named Elizabeth? After telling the people with "THE LIST", that I was Liz __________, a marketing director, while sipping my free Chambord Manhattan, and talking on my Blackberry (you have to play the part)I was able to get in. It's amazing how after loads of dramatics, the show is really only about ten minutes long. However, I had a great time, and enjoyed the taste of the "good" life. While at Custo Barcelona's show, I ran into Michelle Williams, who was extremely friendly, but really that's no surprise, you can't sing gospel and be a bitch; That clearly would be unethical. After snapping a few photographs, me and Keith (who will soon be contributing to Threescoops...stay tuned) were able to manuever our way to the third row!

But after ten short minutes of being rich and famous, I returned to my normal life, and the harsh reality of the fact that seriously, there weren't any black people there. And that is really quite upsetting that we are not rightly represented in an industry that we obviously have more than a great influence on. Ofcourse Diddy and Russell Simmons were at Zac Posen, but other then them, me and keith, there were only sprinkles of African-Americans there, and half of them were passing out flyers at the door. With that said, get on your hustle, and don't be taken advantage of. African-Americans have so much influence on fashion, music, pop culture, etc. If we were to just start taking ownership of our ideas and realizing our power, we could really turn the tables. We should be running things, and we can.

Sorry, I had to turn a simple hookup story into a lecture, but it's black history month, what do you expect.

Fight the Power!

ps. Kudos to Keith for manuevering the hell out of the tents, I owe you one!

Passionate Partying, by Cinnamon Spice

Well well well, before I get started with my story I would like to introduce myself.
I am CinnamonSpice and Independent Sensual Consultant for Passion Parties, Inc.
You may ask yourself what is a Passion Party, well the corporate office would define it like this:

Passion Parties® is the premier sensual products, party-plan company in the United States and Canada. For more than a decade, our Passion Consultants™ have been enhancing the sexual relationships of our clients with sensual products designed to promote intimacy and communication between couples.

While I define it as a Girl's Night in party with a personalized theme where they laugh, giggle and order some sexual goodies for themselves or some they can share with their partner.


Now that, that part is done with I'll let you ladies in on my most recent Passionate night.
This past Saturday I had a Passion Party scheduled in Burbank, Ca and I also had promised my sponsor (another Consultant) that i would drop by to one of her P parties afterwards.
The party in Burbank was fabulous. As soon as I got there the ladies were alread drinking and snacking on shrimp cocktail. These ladies were so kind as to invite me to have dinner with them before we started the festivities. I obliged happily because the hostess had already put a tantalizing drink in my hand with penis ice cubes floating in it with the added bonus of a penis on my straw, hehhee. So I sat there ate with them, listened to their stories of previous nights they have partied together and got to see their personalities a bit. (which i found very beneficial for when it was time to present I knew what kind of audience i had, plus by that time all the ladies were nice and tipsy)
So I presented to them, they listened, we played some passionate games like "Complete the Willies" which is a penis draw off, the woman with the best drawing gets a prize. And at the end of the night these lovely ladies left me with a nice amount of money in my pocket.
SO I left with a smile and with 2 women willing to book a party with me in the near future.
Beautiful!

But then....dun dun dun duuuuuuuunnnnn.... I got in my dad's jeep to drive to the next party in LA (that i had promised to go and help at with my sponsor) and it was complete chaos.
First off, this party was a birthday themed Passion Party which was, for lack of a better term, GHETTO FABULOUS!! I mean, the house was tiny and in it was close to 50 or more women smashed into it. Why? Why were these women willingly smashed into this little crib? Well because the birthday girl had 2 strippers on the way and the ladies were nice and DRUNK by the time I had arrived. Nevermind the fact that my sponsor had got there late as well because her previous party went over time. We were there no longer then 20 mins when a fine ass black man and a attractive woman walks into the house (the strippers!) Now, any other time i would have been amped for some stripper fun and drinks, but i was tired and I was there on business...
and most of all I didn't know these women like that. Oh yea, the party also had men coming in, so it turned into a full-fledge party, which is optimal is this is what you're going for, but for a Passion Consultant, this is the wrong atmosphere to get people to sit down and listen then order something.....
The stripping started around 10:30 and went until 1:45am and longer, and i was asking myself why i was still there but i remembered that i was there to support my sponsor and plus I didn't want to leave her alone in this strange and chaotic place. Also the hostess(birthday girl) still wanted my sponsor to present and demo after all that time, which is F*cking ridiculous when our services are free to come out, we get our money off the sales and it was like 2 something in the damn morning. I was irritated, grumpy and tired and waiting for my sponsor to woman up and tell the hostess that it's time for us to go, 'give me a call when you wanna book another party where it is the right atmosphere and timing.'
Either way, we got out of there around 2:30 am and I got home around 3 or 3:30am and passed out into dreamland.

Now being that it is nearing Valentine's Day, I will leave you all with some positive and sensual goodies to ponder over:

Ladies, do your Kegels!!! To enhance love-making with even the smallest guy if you're doing your kegels you can internally tighten up on him to feel every bit of friction to get you to esctasy.
What is a Kegel? It is the muscle you use when you are holding back the intense urge to pee and there is no bathroom in sight. If you practice your kegels you'll be able to strengthen that muscle to the point of being able to hold him inside of your longer, be able to push him out, be able to control the sensation to something that makes you tingle and tremble all over.
How: Tighten your PC muscle (Kegel) and hold for a minute, and then release.
So practice your KEGELS!


Ladies, take care of yourself!
If you don't give enough love to yourself, how can you give to others, especially your partner.
Take time for baths, throw some Dead Sea Salts in their and soak away your blues (soak for 20-30mins) Massage yourself, surround yourself with pleasants scents and candles.
Recommended Salts: Masada Dead Sea Salts (www.masada.com) (Women's Formula, Cold & Flu, Skin Calming, Euclyptas, Lavender, and many more), RomantaTheraphy Sensuous Dead Sea Salts w/phermones (www.passionparties.com)


And on that note,
Peace n blessings sistas.
"Live the Spicy Life"

Paris Exposed.

I know we are focusing on Black History Month, however, it's still important to keep up with current "pop cultural" events especially when they are regarding the N-word. First Kramer, now Paris Hilton...



It's funny how she talks about public schools when she barely has an elementary education.

Bad News Bears

Too bad the Chicago Bears couldn't squeeze out a win yesterday. However, divalicious Prince did his thing while wearing a doo-rag (head scarf, they're all the same). As long as you are black, rain and perm don't mix no matter how famous or wealthy you may be. Needless to say, Prince tied the hair up and brought down the house. I admit, after the halftime show I popped in a movie, but I did manage to catch a rather cute commercial featuring Oprah and David Letterman. It's always interesting to see Oprah in everyday, "real life" situations, seeing that she is a ga-billionaire. It's rather hard to imagine that Oprah is leading a normal life, complete with mediocrity and mundance activities such as sitting on a 10+ year old sofa and stuffing her face with bbq beef sandwiches, while the Super Bowl plays on a 32" television resting on top of a broken floor model. A bit of an exaggeration I know, but you get the point...Oprah doesn't do the same things we do.


Hmmm...They actually don't look that bad together. I'm sure if Oprah was to get involved in an interracial relationship, all other black women would follow suit, lol.

Where's My Receipt? by Smart Cookie

Earlier today I purchased Jill Scott's recent release, "Collaborations". Being a huge Jill Scott fan, with no hesitation I tossed the cd into my cart. I didn't even bother to look at the tracks; Jill Scott never puts out trash...so I thought. This cd is straight garbage! I came home from a long, hectic day, expecting to chill and relax to some new mellow tracks. Instead, I sat on my couch in shock, desperately skipping the tracks to find at least one hit single. "This can't be right," I said to myself, hoping that the bonus Target cd contained a completely new set of tracks. Unfortunately, it only included the footage of the making of another wack song. The only good tracks on the cd are "Daydreaming" and "Love Rain", both old tracks that we've all heard. I hate to do this to you, Jill, but I have to give "Collaborations" a 1/2 of star out of 5, and hope that in the future, you collaborate with different producers.

After wishing that I hadn't thrown away my receipt, or even opened the cd in the first place, my mistake of a purchase was redeemed by my other instinctual buy...Mos Def's "True Magic". After what I had just went through, I was immediately weary of what I was about to hear, especially after realizing that Mos Def's cd had no type of insert, and had appeared to be made on his personal computer. However, after listening to the cd, I can say that it's truely magical revolutionary music at it's best. And, I'm sure that Mos Def intentionally understated the "image" of the cd packaging to draw attention to what's most important...the actual music. Just in the packaging, Mos Def has snidely critiqued the state of music, black culture, etc. "True Magic" is a phenomenal cd; No bells and whistles, no collabos, just straight hotness. Every track can be listened from beginning to end. And ofcourse, Mighty Mos has a few singing tracks, which are more informed and modernized versions of Umi Says. If you are into revolutionary, underground hip hop, black panther-esque, music, then by all means pick this cd up. "True Magic" is an intelligently written, positively, conscious album. Pick this one up, it offers a great start to the month of February. And I give it 5 stars and the fist, POWER TO THE PEOPLE!

A Taste of Black History, by Chocolate Therapy

In honor of Black History Month, I wanted to inform those who do not know, and remind those who do, about Nat Turner. On October 2, 1800, Turner was born on a plantation in Virginia to his African-born slave mother. At the time his slave master’s name was Samuel Turner, hence Nat’s last name. Turner was known as an intelligent person and was seen as a prophet by his people; He had several visions which led him to believe that a slave revolt was necessary, including signs in the heavens and lights in the sky.

In February of 1831, an eclipse of the sun was the sign in the heavens Nat Turner needed to commence with his revolt. He then told 4 others he trusted of his plan. On August 13th of the same year, an atmospheric disturbance where the sun appeared bluish-green was the go-ahead final sign, and on August 21st Turner and six of his men met in the woods to eat and make plans. At 2:00 a.m., they headed to their master’s house killing the entire family in their sleep. They continued throughout the neighborhood going from house to house freeing slaves and killing any white person they came in contact with. They eventually amounted over 40 slaves and free blacks to assist with the rebellion, many on horseback.

On August 22nd, word had gotten out concerning the rebellion, and Turner and his rebels were confronted by whites causing them to scatter. After more encounters with whites, several rebels were captured. Turner was able to escape and hide near his master’s farm, but was eventually captured on October 30th. He was tried and sentenced to execution on November 11th of that year, in which he was hanged, skinned and dismembered by whites for souvenirs. In the aftermath, close to 200 black people were eventually accused of having a connection to the rebellion and/or were hanged or murdered by white mobs. In the end, the Turner revolt led to the killings of at least 55 white men, women and children.

Information provided by http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/aia/part3/3p1518.html.

PROFILE: Wangechi Mutu, by Smart Cookie

Wangechi Mutu, a Kenyan-born artist based in New York, and Master's graduate of Yale School of Art, makes luscious yet grotesque pictures of female figures. Her painted and collaged works serve as social critiques on contemporary society’s obsession with physical appearance.

33-year-old Mutu is an internationally recognized artist. Her work belongs to the permanent collections of the MOMA in New York, the Whitney Museum, and the Studio Museum of Harlem. Don't count on purchasing one of her masterpieces for yourself. Her paintings can command as much as $40,000!

However, it wasn't too long ago that Mutu couldn't afford to work on any other material besides paper. Upon finishing her master's at Yale, a school that supplied all materials, studio space and tools, Mutu was faced with the reality of being a recent graduate with low funds; a starving artist. But paper, ink, and pencil carried Mutu a looooong way. After a studio visit with a very influential and well-connected curator, Mutu's luck changed dramatically. Her work was put into an exhibit at the Studio Museum of Harlem and the response to her work was extraordinary.

Now, Wangechi Mutu is living the life: She has been able to purchase a brownstone in which she can live and work, her career has taken off, and most importantly, she is now able to be financially independent by pursuing her passion. Wangechi Mutu is truely an inspiration to recent graduates who can't seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel. She proves that with a little patience, determination, and faith, things will eventually work out just fine.

Rum Raisin Presents: The Volcano

I know the SuperBowl is this weekend, and most of ya'll will be at semi-triflin party. Meaning you will be eating "catered" chicken from your local chicken joint, stale chips, and babysitting a Miller High Life (yucko) cuz someone was too cheap to get Heineken. Kick things up a notch and make a Volcano. It will be an explosive party...

Ingredients:
1 bottle sparkling wine or Champagne
4 cups cranberry juice
2 quarts orange juice
2 quarts orange sherbet, softened
Vodka
15 pounds dry ice chips

Directions:
Pour sparkling wine into a large bowl. Add cranberry and orange juice. Scoop sherbet into bowl until it has produced a nice coating over the top. Add Vodka.

Drop in pieces of dry ice for volcano steam effect, but WARNING: No one should put dry ice in their mouth.

WOOF.

MOVIE SCOOP: For Thy Love, by Smart Cookie

GENRE: Drama

SYNOPSIS: A story about the search for love in all the wrong places. When Belinda decides to leave her boyfriend after tolerating five years of sexual frustration, she falls straight into the arms of a smooth operator who works as a trainer at the gym. She thinks she's landed in paradise but it all turns to hell when he reveals his shady sexual lifestyle - and doles out more than she can handle. Now her search for love and adventure has taken an ominous turn that will change her forever.

REVIEW: This movie is a combination of an Uncut video and a chitlin circuit play. However, I enjoyed this movie for it's irony. Trust me, you won't be prepared for the ending. This movie sheds light on the stereotypical "nice guy" and leads the viewer to question the idea of forgiveness. Though the film tends to border between low budget and home video, it's lack of funding works in it's favor. This movie is good to watch on a Saturday, after you've finished cleaning your house or running a few weekend errands. Not too sure if the guys would enjoy this one, they are bound to yell a couple of "fuck that's" or "hell naw's", but I, myself had that reaction on a few parts as well. Needless to say this movie will cause some debate amongst your crew. A decent movie at least sparks up conversation and this film leaves a lot to be discussed.

I was able to find this DVD in Walmart, but you can purchase it for around 15 bucks on www.image-entertainment.com, or even check Amazon.

Black Power, by Smart Cookie

Black History Month has begun, so get ready for the cheesy Coca Cola commericals, the McDonald's tribute to Martin Luther King, and the occasional Black History Month Stamp. We all know that "our" month doesn't get the proper attention. But we promise to give this month the attention it deserves. I'll kick it off with a little history...

WEEKLY WORD: MURSE

MURSE - A man purse. They are usually in the form of a fancy messenger bag, a planner, or an oversized "wallet". The perfect accessory for the extra metro...not really. If your man is carrying a murse, you might want to make sure he isn't going to dark alleys at night to snuggle with Tyrone. Any man carrying a murse is questionable. Unless openly gay, most murse carriers deny the fact that what they are carrying resembles a purse, and will use such a line as, "I have too many things to carry".

Ex. Steve attempted to pass his murse for a planner, but planners don't have compartments for your keys and cologne.

I'm 2 Grown 4 Games...SIKE!, by Pistachio

Last night I was harassed in the internet crack house...MySpace. Yes, I'm addicted like everyone else, and it's beyond a guilty pleasure. All of us are guilty of putting our best foot forward on our pages, boasting about our "achievements", both personal and professional. The former hamburger flippers are now party promoters, and former hoes are now "models". Former fat asses and fugs send you friend requests for "Look at me now bitch" purposes, and the snooty suburbanites set their profiles to private. There are also the Miss Jenkins', the anonymous floaters without profile pictures who just want to get the inside scoop. Every other hour they're online, hanging out of their imaginary windows to confirm the juicy gossip. And how can I forget the Z-list rappers? Quick to put flyers in your comments and quick to upload their demos. MySpace should really be more selective on who gets a Music page. And lastly, you have the thirsty guys looking for MySpace Jump Offs.

Now let me get back to my harassed on the internet story....

Last night I logged on with the intention of changing my layout and checking my messages. Much to my surprise I found a message with the subject line reading, "Bitch". Slightly amused, yet slightly irritated, I opened the message, which read as follows:

Bitch,

Why the fuck is ___________ in your top ate? You ain't even cute.


Ate? My point exactly. Being the mature woman that I am, I should've just ignored the message. For one thing the guy that she was referring to is simply a college buddy. Secondly, I don't pick fights with those who have learning disabilities. But I'm only 23 and have room to make mistakes, plus she basically called me fugly, so I responded:

Bitch,

Instead of keeping tabs on me, you need to be getting a hot oil treatment for that broom. Is your mother a scarecrow? ________ and I went to S-C-H-O-O-L together. Maybe you should consider going....application deadlines are usually around February "ate".


I didn't receive a response, and I don't plan on it. I did, however, make a point to tell __________ to check his hoe. Girls, it's time to get more sophisticated with how you are trying to catch your man up. Get his password and work with concrete evidence. Don't just attack random women.

I think I have found my new anthem...

The Last Word: ASSumptions, by Chocolate Therapy

You know, it’s funny…it seems that the people who know the least about a subject are the most outspoken. Now don’t get me wrong, I have strong opinions about many issues, but when you talk about my period you are entering “No Man’s Land” (literally). Guys, especially guys in their 20’s, think they somehow have a wealth of knowledge that no one else has figured out yet, and constantly feel the need to let everyone know how things should be. Well, I’m going to let you guys in on a secret: You are not doing/saying anything that hasn’t been done before. With that being said, why do you guys always feel the need to challenge Mother Nature? Things have been this way for years, and you just can’t grasp a simple concept. Listed below are my Points to Ponder…

1. If a female is using her period as an excuse not to mess around, take that as a hint. Either she doesn’t like you or she is messing around with someone else. Stop trying to track when her next cycle is and focus on why she don’t want your ass!


2. Just because you had Biology class doesn’t mean a thing. When I was in high school, most of the guys were too worried about the girl sitting next to them to even pay attention to what the teacher was saying. Most science books are written by men anyways, and last time I checked men don’t have periods. That’s like me writing a book on jock itch!


3. My period won’t mess up your day if you would just stay out of my way. If you know I’m going to be in a bad mood why even talk to me? Why would you say “Guess what!! I found $20 today!” when you know I have been lying in the bed trying to fight cramps and bloating. My response is likely to be a piercing, “are you kidding me?” stare or a chide remark. Save your good news for when I tell you I am hungry and would like to go out to dinner.


4. At least a woman president would know how to express her emotions better than previous president’s have. Men always try to play hardball. Just tell the other person how you feel, plain and simple, and there will be no need to try to decipher silly “man laws.” And hey, what better time to do it than when it’s that time of the month? The emotions will be raw and honest, so there will be no need to request clarity.


5. When was the last time you were unable to fit the pants you wore last week due to involuntary weight gain (and no, beer bellies do not count)? When was the last time you had uncontrollable cravings for sweets or your stomach cramped up so bad that you could hardly walk? Yeah…that’s what I thought. All guys have to worry about is hereditary baldness and putting on clean underwear daily…and sometimes you can’t even do that!

Guys, we are tired of you making ASSumptions on how we are supposed to act and feel. It only happens once a month, so just deal with it. Either stay out of our way or sit there in complete silence. Anything you say can or will be used against you when the crimson tide is over.

HIS TWO CENTS: Periods...Stop Using Them As Excuses

Ladies,

There are so many times when we just wonder what's going on in the heads of the opposite sex. We find ourselves over analyzing in many situations, which inevitably leads us to make assumptions on the male perspective. Assume no more! This year we are going to give you "His Two Cents", which will feature a blurb, interview, article, etc. from an anonymous male. Let me just warn you now...the topics are very controversial and are bound to cause some serious debates. And we encourage you to respond...you know a Black woman always get's the last word. With that said let the games begin...

PERIODS...STOP USING THEM AS EXCUSES...Written By Anthony
My friends and I were doing our usual roasting of each other last week, when we randomly start discussing how girls try to milk the shit out of their periods and use them as an excuse for everything. It makes no damn sense; every time something goes wrong a lot of females will blame it on their "Michael Redd" (inside joke). While a lot of females say we don’t try to understand them during this 5-7 day process, just hear us out for a min...

Points to ponder

1) C'mon it’s just a period, it can’t be that bad...S.A. Davis just had a period last week, and it didn’t even slow him down. You all act like nuclear warfare just bust out all in your insides. Relax Grasshopper!

2) Ladies, we went through biology too, that shit aint lasting as long as you try to make it out to be. Be a woman and just tell the guy you don’t want to sleep with him...

3) Do not use the period as an excuse that you can’t do nothing sexual. Are you bleeding out your mouth? No, that’s what I thought, SET OUT THAT AWESOME JAWSOME!

4) Your period should not mess up my good day! If I got a promotion to work, found $20 in my pocket, or someone saved my life, don’t bring my high down with your bitching and moaning. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!

5) This is why the WNBA playoffs last no longer than three games a series! Could you imagine game 7 and Lisa Leslie couldn’t play due to that time of the month...plain foolishness...

6) This also the reason why we probably couldn’t have a woman president. She would be signing peace treaties with everybody off emotion, or start war, cause another president called her fat!

Some of these things were serious, some were jokes. I would like to hear everyone’s comments on this, guys don’t be scared, this is an issue that we all talk about! Ladies especially, I’ll probably get cussed out in 3 languages but so what! Holla at me!

Email: Contact@threescoopsonline.com

If Looks Could Kill...

SHEEEEE'S BAAAAACK! Congrats go out to Serena Williams for quite frankly, whoopin' some serious ass last night at the Australian Open. She easily won her third trophy 6-1, 6-2. Her snooty opponent, Sharapova really didn't stand a chance from jump, but after hitting Serena with an overhead in the first set, she was doomed for failure. You don't hit a black woman and get away with it! Serena proceeded to paint the lines with fireballs; Sharapova couldn't even get her racquet on the ball...She was swinging at air.

Serena started the tournament lookin' a bit rusty, but she came through when it counted most. Kudos to the first black woman to dominate the tennis game while wearing a Nike booty dress. Also if you were able to peep her warmup attire, you should have notice that Serena has a Nike Big Body Bag! Unfortuantely, the Nike bag isn't for sale, but you can scoop up her tennis dress for $100. And guess what? The dress is called the 'Serena Disruptive Dress', lol, go figure.

GO SERENA!

Status Check, by Smart Cookie

In my younger years I was quite the Tomboy. I wouldn't be caught dead carrying a purse of any kind. Well, I did get caught up in the ever so popular Coach wallet phase of the 90's, but take notation of the the word, 'wallet'. Now that I'm in my mid-twenties, I've come to realize that I have more than a divalicious liking toward huge purses. Fashionable, overly large purses portruding with a Scoops daily essentials (cell phone, Ipod, Carmex, lotion, etc.) just reeks of status and importance. Here in Scoopsville, large purses are known as "Big Bodies". Just like when your parents take the big body car to church or special events, the big body bag lives by the same rules. The big body serves so many purposes it's ridiculous, here are a few:

1. No matter how busted you are looking on a lazy Saturday, i.e., your favorite raggedy sweats and head scarf, as long as you throw on your big body you can walk into any store looking like a star.

2. You never have to buy overpriced popcorn and snacks at the movies ever again! Big bodies allow you to damn near fit a Foreman grill inside, so you can stop by your nearest corner store and stuff your favorite movie goodies into the bag and have a feast on the cheap.

3. If any snobby store attendant tries to get snippy with you as if you can't afford something, all you have to do is use your big body as leverage and say,"B--- did you happen to glance at this bag I'm carrying? I can buy you and this raggedy ass store!" Indeed, you may only have enough money to buy a small fry on the dollar menu, but who'd ever guess?

4. Random unwanted encounters. Dammit, here comes Aquanetta, the gossip queen from your old high school. Luckily, you just came from the hair salon and you are carrying your big purse. Now the only gossip that Aquanetta can relay is,"Dang, gurrrl, I saw so and so in the store and she was looking like a kept woman. She must be dating a drug dealer or something." Now, Who doesn't want that kinda gossip?

Ok, now that you've completed Big Body Bag 101, here are a few cute purses that I've recently come across. Right now, I'm feelin' satchel style bags. Satchels are classy and sophistcated, perfect for the 20-somethin' year old. Let's start with the DKNY Mixed Media Satchel, priced at $160 (Shown at the top of page). This bag is precious. It will make for a good business meeting purse. Throw this bag on with a nice pant suit and heels and you will walk into the office looking like the HBIC.

If you are the HBIC and makin' major paper, scoop up the MICHAEL, by Michael Kors Harness Flannel Satchel priced at $398. Me being fairly (smirk) artistic and not afraid of a little color and preppiness, find this bag to be quite appealing. I think this bag is perfect for the creative director. I understand that everyone doesn't have that salaried job yet, but you can still purchase a big body for cheap. Take for example, the BP Accessory Network 'Erin' Satchel priced at $20. This bag comes in black, red, grey, and patent leather. It's simplistic with a hint of vintage and can easily be spruced up by tying a fancy scarf or sparkly charm around one of the hooks. This is a nice big body for a lightweight, fun outing, like bowling, or a boredom trip to Target.

All of the purses featured in the article can be found on Nordstrom's website. Happy purse shopping!

WEEKLY WORD: HURTIN'

Hurtin: An overwhelming willingness or need to obtain what you want. A deep yearning or eagerness. For maximum effectiveness, hurtin’ should be followed by ass.

Example: Carla’s hurtin’ ass couldn’t wait till dinner.

Happy belated Birthday, Martin!

I know you are thinking, "How in the hell did they miss Martin Luther King's birthday?" I know, I know, it's a damn shame, but we've been busy. Anyway, I hope everyone celebrated the occasion by doing something meaningful and productive. And I don't mean sleeping in and watching Maury's millionth paternity test show. I'm sure Martin wouldn't approve of such of thing, just watch the following clip! Enjoy!

Tech Scoop: Have a Flashback, by Buttercup

Last week I came to a revelation: Ms. PacMan is a bitch.

My younger brother and his friends had gotten in the habit of chillin' at my new crib to use their Xbox and Playstation on my new Plasma. And I’m sure any coherent female can guess what game they play...that damn Madden. I really don't understand how guys can play the same game over and over again, with the same enthusiasm they had when they first purchased it. I attempted at living out the saying, "If you can't beat them, join them", but with my video game console experience consisting of the Atari 7800 and Nintendo, I didn't have a clue what the hell I was doing. I remember laughing hysterically when my mother made her first attempt at Super Mario Bros. Like most parents who are not tech-savvy, she thought if she turned her body to the right, as she held the controller, Mario would magically mimic her movements. Well, somehow, I must've caught the "grownup disease" because I was totally clueless with that stupid football game. My brother and his friends laughed and laughed, and I admit, I was a little embarrassed, but they were clearly in MY house, on MY television, and they would not get the best of me...I had a plan.

My brother and his crew of dimwits were constantly talking about how easy the old video games were. But, from my memory, the majority of those who beat Super Mario had a Game Genie, and I have yet to meet someone who has beaten Donkey Kong. Which got me to thinking, "hmmmm....All that trash talk and I bet their dumbasses can't even play Atari". Immediately, I jetted to my parents house and rummaged through some old boxes in the basement. I finally found my old Atari with a variety of games. After taking me nearly a century to figure out how to hook up my Atari to a brand new television, I was ready to brush up on my skills. At least I thought I was ready until I realized that I had to blow on the cartridges like 20 times until I could get the it to work, but after more than a little dust, things worked out. And like I predicted...the games were impossible. One of my girls mentioned how hard Ms. Pac Man was, but hard was an understatement. Ms. Pac Man had me cussin' out her and every single ghost on the screen. "Run BITCH!" I repeatedly screamed as I was tempted to bust out with a 2-year old tantrum. I then became obssesed and determined to outsmart "the man" also known as the computer. All this led to an addiction and I eventually tried out all of my old games. The old Atari is back and is the new crack...Hell to the naw!


With my new habit, my brother came over like usual, but things would be different. After calling my games everything from A-tracks to hockey pucks, I finally challenged my brother and his friends to a game of football....Atari football. And guess what? I got in that ass like toilet paper! And I realized that these poor children are being too spoiled by these new games. The old games required work. There weren't any fancy controllers...just a joystick with one button, and it was up to you to learn how to maneuver and tap that button to do tricks. There weren't any cheat codes...just three lives and you had better make it work.

Things are much different now. I am a respected video gamer. I taught my brother that, you may be able to beat anyone in the latest Madden, but you really ain't shit if you can't beat something as "easy" as Pac Man. You have to know how to crawl before you can walk.

If you can't dig out your old Atari, you can definitely find the old ones in the original boxes, with many games on Ebay. Or if you would like an improved throwback, then you can visit Atari.com and purchase the Atari Flashback at only $19.99. This is a great toy to have, and you can sit back after work and have a little fun. Also, if you have some disrespectful know-it-all siblings, this is a great lesson teaching tool. Additionally, if you have a boyfriend/husband/etc., use the Atari as a cute bargaining tool. Bet on a game of Donkey Kong or Frogger to get a candlelit dinner, massage, or those cute earrings you've been scopin' out.

Yo, don't sleep on Tetris or Duck Hunt!

Highfalutin Finery, by Coffebean

The manicured hand flossing the engagement ring bling--The Jimmy Choo pumps matched perfectly with the “new money” handbag. Its Sex in the City meets Girlfriends mixed with Beauty Shop, served with a double dose of Toni Childs (Girlfriends). There are no out-dated Jet Magazines. The latest bootleg is not being played. Booster lady and sock man won’t be pedaling their products here.

Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada are frequent cohabitants of the women who are serviced by my upscale salon in downtown Chicago. The multi-cultural staff and clientele bring an ambiance to the salon that is not present at the Flare for Hair or the Dominican Hair Emporium. The hair dryers suspended from the ceiling, the hardwood floors, and the exposed duct work let me know that this salon has the potential to be bourgeois-central! The career women, the kept women, and the on the grind women, sashay into this establishment with one point intended, to get their hair done, or is it?

No Applebottom sisters, no do-rag wearing, not even Air Max covered feet. No current gossip, celebrity or personal. A Euro-imported receptionist greets you at the door. It is rigid and stuffy! A rolling of the eyes and a salient snub if you dare enter the salon with your mane tamed by the black woman’s holy grail—the do rag.

Perhaps an idle mind is the devil's playground. But my idleness brought questioning. Questioning about the women who are serviced by this establishment. Is there an unspoken assumption that only a “certain” type of black woman can patron this salon? The college educated women, the women who married up, the women who are successful in their careers. Yes, the salon will impress you with the speedy-individualized service (even on a Saturday). Not to mention, the possibility to network with other career women. The salon has a Who’s Who clientele—another bragging point to mention to ones pretentious and snobbish acquaintances. Some women come for the service, some for the status. Snooty, stuck-up, supercilious: It is a premier salon that yields outstanding results and retains a clientele of women with questionable motives for patronage.

Two Weeks Later,

Two weeks later I am back. It’s a brutal 15 degree December Day in Chicago. I pull out my one of a kind, floor length, great coat. I stuff my black leather mini-pumps into my bag and race out of the door with by Black Gucci clinging to my free arm. Its salon day and it has taken more time than normal to get ready. As I race out of the house, I question myself; am I becoming one of those women I am writing about?

mmmmm....good, by Smart Cookie

I'm currently in Chicago for my break, and ofcourse my trip wouldn't be complete without a 5 piece with mild sauce from Harold's...

Can I Getcha Number? by Pistachio

It's a typical Saturday night at the club. I'm enjoying my overpriced martini when the most hideous creature sits right next to me. A total fug...a fuzzy three-week old cornroll havin', old spice stankin', cat daddy suit and fake bling wearin' fug. Ofcourse, my girl is a few feet away talkin' to the fine Metrosexual brotha, and i'm stuck with someones uncle. I purposely try to act uninterested, but the shit doesn't work, and a funky mix of dookie breath and Winterfresh blows in my direction as he says,"Hey there, can I have your number?" Unfortunately, it's not as easy to say no as you would think. I could bluntly say "no", and risk getting cursed out and embarrassed. Guys are startin' to get straight ignant when it comes to rejection, talkin' bout, "You uppity bitch! I ain't really want yo' number anyway" etc. etc. you catch my drift. Or I could lie and say I have a boyfriend, but ofcourse that doesn't work anymore. Most guys don't even care, and still want your number...damn. Last, but not least, you could always give out a fake number, but now everyone has a damn cell phone, and guys are bold enough to call you right in the club to make sure that you've given out the correct number. And don't get caught up, you will once again be cursed out in the club. Or you have those guys who can't even take a hint, and will actually walk up to you and say, "excuse me, I think you gave me the wrong number" As if the shit was an accident...what a dumbass. But girlies, there is a God. There is someting calleld a rejction hotline, 617-861-3962. You simply give out this number instead of your own, and later on at night when the fug tries to give you a call, he will hear a humorous recording stating that you are not interested. For a phone number specific to your area, simply visit http://www.rejectionhotline.com/. This site is crazy too, you can even get business cards made with this number to pass out to fugs! It's pure genius if you ask me! I'm sure with this piece of information your trip to the club this weekend will be a little more enjoyable. Shut 'em down!

WEEKLY WORD: UNPROTECTED SLEEP

1. Unprotected Sleep
Turning off your alarm clock and immediately going back to sleep; risking not waking up for a job, class, or other daily task.

I'm extremely lucky I didn't miss my meeting this morning after having 30 minutes of Unprotected Sleep.

Rum Raisin Presents: The Razzle Dazzle

Girlies, no more radically druken nights, it's the age of the slow buzz. The Razzle Dazzle allows you to be a little tipsy while keeping the drink tasty.

"Keep it light and you will still enjoy your night"
- said by a drink babysitter

RAZZLE DAZZLE

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups frozen rasberries
1 (12-ounce) can frozen concentrated pink lemonade or rasberry lemonade
1 bottle (750ml) Chardonnay
3 cups lemon lime soda (recommended: Sprite)
1/2 cup Cognac

Directions:
In a large pitcher, combine all ingredients and stir. Refrigerate for 1 hour.

5 means 7, by Merry Cherry

It had been at least 30 minutes and I was still waiting in her driveway. She said that she was walking towards the front door like 20 minutes ago. And she said she would be waiting outside when I called to say I was on my way, like an hour ago. I was just about to lay on the horn when she finally comes out of the house. She’s talking on the cell phone, sippin’ on a Capri Sun, and holdin’ a plate of breakfast wrapped in aluminum foil.

"Look at this bitch," I mumble to myself...I’m pissed.

After hanging up the phone, she says, “Sorry gurrrrl, I couldn’t find anything to wear.” She completely ignores the fact that while she couldn’t find an outfit, she managed to find enough time to cook herself an IHOP breakfast sampler with pancakes. After devouring a piece of bacon she says, “You need to step on it! We are going to be late.” My patience…gone. My stomach grumblin’…since I bypassed cooking myself breakfast so I could be ON TIME. We are stuck in traffic and she is smackin’ on food, telling me how to drive, making radio station demands, and we are clearly going to be late as hell to work. But rather than drop her ass off at the nearest bus station, I take a deep sigh and ask for a hash brown. For she is permanently in the carpool because she is my friend…my triflin’ friend.

We all have one. You gave her your old television for free, and she complains about how small it is. She brings last night’s leftovers to the pot luck. You are in a rush, yet she insists on waiting 30 minutes until the egg roll sample at Sam’s Club is finished cooking. She’ll take a hookup on a VIP pass to any club, even, a 50+ supper club. She’s never been on time in her life, yet the one day you are running a little late, she's majorly bitchin’. Always speaking before thinking, always on CPT, always thirsty for some free shit…She’s your triflin’ friend.

Unfortunately, a “triflin’ friend” is set in their ways for life, and cannot be changed. But there are a few things you can do to avoid the effects of their actions…

5 means 7. If you have to pick her up before you go out, you must tell her to be ready like 2 hours before you need to be at your destination. This way, she can bullshit all day long, but you will still be on time. For a more severe case of CPT, in addition to lying about the time, you must also go inside of her house and wait rather than sit in the car. Now you can see firsthand what she is doing and she has no room to get off track.

Just ask for money and take the initiative. You know she is going to drink a few Corona’s before bringing the 12-pack to the Super Bowl party. So why are you depending on her to get the liquor? You need to just pick up the party stuff yourself and have her give you the money for it. If she also has “never pay you back syndrome”, then you need to get the money up front before you go to the store.

Be selective. Stop taking every flyer that advertises a free party, and don’t lay any coupons or these types of things around in your house or car. Especially the ones that you can really throw in the garbage. You know if she sees it, she is going to want to go. She will want to drive an hour out to get that free 12 oz. drink from select Burger King’s. She will want to use that free pass to the 16 and older club that your younger sister left in the car. If you don’t want to go through the drama, throw that stuff away. Or at least only keep around the things that you wouldn’t mind doing. I’ll drive 15-30 minutes to get my Victoria’s Secret free panty, who wouldn’t? But there’s a fine line between good and bad free stuff.

The triflin’ friend can really work your nerves, but you gotta love ‘em. Just use these tips to get you through the rough times and you should be just fine.

Monday's Reserved, by Smart Cookie

This January brings in fresh new sitcoms and reality shows. Mondays are particularly good because...New York is in the mutha-f*ckin' house! I knew this show would live up to its expectations when the intro included New York lighting a cigarette and moisturizing her ashy legs with Vaseline...pure comedy at its finest. Coffee Bean put me onto New York's mom's bogus weave. Somehow, I didn't notice her invisible hairline. She looks bald, it's a little creepy.

Ofcourse, this show is full of coonery, but it's a Scoops guilty pleasure. You can catch the HBIC on I Love New York at 10/9 c on VH1.

Another decent show is Lincoln Heights on ABC Family. Lincoln Heights is about a young cop and his POSITIVE black family who move back to his old neighborhood to be bombarded with different struggles. This show comes on at 7/6 c and is something you can watch with the entire family.

Immediately after watching a laid-back family sitcom you can test your gay-dar with Lifetimes new game show, Gay, Straight, or Taken? which airs at 8/7 c. In this game, a single woman must go out with three men and figure out which one is gay, straight, and taken. If she is to choose the straight and single man, they will win a trip. However if she choses incorrectly, then man that she mistakenly chooses as straight and single will win the trip for him and his boyfriend/girlfriend. I must admit, I was stumped on a couple of the men. This is a Scoops MUST WATCH. I'm sure many of you have come across a handsome man, but weren't sure if he was gay, straight, or taken. Well, this show will definitely improve your ability to detect the available and straight man. Also, Lifetime airs two different episodes back-t0-back, so you get double the fun trying pick out who's who.

Honorable Mention: Jennifer Lopez is the Executive Producer of MTV's new reality series, Dancelife. This show is basically about real world dancers trying to make it in Hollywood. It Premieres next Monday, Jan. 15th at 10:30/9:30 c. This show looks pretty good, at least good enough to watch as you eat dinner or do some work on the labtop.

WTF: Can anyone tell me what has happened to Girlfriends??? They are showing so many re-runs, I am beginning to believe that they have officially taken the show off air. They really should have taken this show off last season and ended on a good note. However, the reruns are always MUST SEES.

Reserve Monday nights, relax, and have fun!

Put Your Personality on a Diet, by Milky "Weigh"

I'm sure most of us have been on a diet since the "freshman fifteen". When you have to stay up past 11 to do homework, who is really thinking, "Let me grab a broccoli pop to snack on"? With those of us who are working 40 hours a week, and getting home in the late evening, i'm pretty sure no one actually cooks a healthy meal when they walk in the door. Hell, I don't even cook. The domestic gene missed me completely. Despite the slight setbacks, I was able to reach my ideal weight by acquiring a maintainable lifestlye, inclusive of both diet and exercise. Today, I would like to talk about diet.

My friends and I found that certain personality traits of ours were causing us to overeat. So we were able to look at our individual situations and come of with successful ways to change our bad eating habits. Here they are...

1. You are impatient

If you are impatient you are less likely to keep track of what you are eating. As a result, you are probably consuming more than you think. Stop eating dinner while you are talking on the phone, chatting on aol, watching television, and typing a paper. Eat your dinner without distractions and allow yourself to notice when you feel full. How many times have you opened a bag a chips as you were doing other things, and when you finally decided to close the bag, you realized there were only crumbs left? How many of you ate the crumbs and kept it movin'? Slow down! If eating slowly feels awkward, that's proof that you are in some type of hurry or frenzy.

2. You are easily discouraged

I used to have trouble sticking to a diet if I couldn't see measurable results right away. If I was eating Subway, while my friends were eating gyros then I had better see a six-pack forming. To rid myself of that mentality, I started setting small, reachable goals. Rather than telling myself that I could no longer eat fast food, I only allowed myself to have fast food on the weekends. Instead of drinking at least 2 glasses of pop/juice on a daily basis, I vastly increased my water intake. I would require myself to drink a glass of water before I could drink a glass of juice or pop. Small achievements increase your confidence in yourself and motivation. Stop feeling guilty because you cannot eat salad everyday. Start by having a salad twice a week. Start small, and slowly increase the intensity of your diet. You have to create a diet for yourself that is realistic.

3. You are social

My best friend is a social butterfly. But she was relying on food , as well as friends, for comfort, so she would cave in to all of her cravings. If there was a day in which she was bored with nothing to do, she would eat. I have experienced this myself. There's nothing on television on a Saturday, all of your friends are busy, so you are left to sit and channel surf. All of sudden those Twizzlers in the cabinet start calling your name, then the Doritos, then the Sunkist in the fridge, and so on. Keep all of your favorite snacks out of the house, so when you do indulge, you are forced to go to the grocery store. If you have to drive to the gas station, then drive to the grocery store for one measely bag of Doritos, chances are you will just settle for the pretzels in the cabinet.

MOVIE SCOOP: Motives, by Smart Cookie

Have you ever noticed that in most big pictures, there might indeed be a black actor/actress in the film, but they are always the sidekick of the white star actor/actress? They are simply put there to enhance the white character. This is done by some form of degradation of the black character, done by using them for comic relief, the charity case, etc. Case in point: Blood Diamonds, a great film, however, the emphasis is put on Leonardo Di'Caprio. Or, let me bring out some old examples... Let's take a look at Regina King's past roles in Clueless 3, and Miss Congeniality 2. We all know how great an actress Regina King is, however in those films, she is the stereotypical "Angry black woman" used solely to enhance the image of Alicia Silverstone and Sandra Bullock.

How can an African American woman possibly relate to these films? Yeah, there might indeed be an African American actress in the film, but how can we identify with a character that is basically "shuckin' and jivin"?

In some of her previous essays, Bell Hooks, a black feminist and astounding film critic, writes about what she calls the "Oppositional Gaze". To put it simply, the oppositional gaze is when a black woman cannot identify with a film and its characters, and rather than enjoy the film, is forced to look at the film in a critical manner. I don't want to get into psychoanalysis, in which the topic of the oppositional gaze resides but just think about your past experiences at the movies. How did you feel, for example, watching a movie like Monster's Ball versus watching Boomerang? I'm sure when watching Monster's Ball, which was a pretty good film, you were on guard, but when watching Halle in Boomerang, you are able to just relax and enjoy the film.

Every new movie that comes out about African Americans tends to be a little stereotypical and cliché these days...We never get the good romance films, chick flicks, and dramas. With a few exceptions, we seem to be stuck in a rut filled with comedies, inner-city school drama, dance offs, thug life, and musician's biographies. But don't worry, there are a plethora of underground, aka low budget films, as well as old skool films that can fulfill your need for good, entertaining cinema that doesn't play off the stereotypical and/or negative aspects of the black community for the economical gains of the majority.

I, Smart Cookie and Coffee Bean will be giving our movie reviews of films that are on DVD/VHS and available for purchase. I personally like dramas and romance flicks, but Coffee Bean tends to lean toward more historical films. But between the both of us, we guarantee your movie collection will be on point. This brings me to my first movie review: Motives with Shemar Moore and Vivica Fox.

GENRE: Thriller, Drama

PLOT SYNOPSIS: Motives is an edgy thriller that centers around Emery Simms, a highly educated and successful business tycoon who happens to be married to the quintessential wife Constance. Things go dangerously awry when the thrill seeking Emery engages in an adulterous fling with the wildly free-spirited and exotic Allanah. Timing couldn't be any worse when the politics of high society, shady business deals, bad press, and a violent murder collide, they threaten to destroy more than just his shaky marriage. As police probe into his situation, they uncover a labyrinth of deception, agendas and motives, where the stakes are enormous and nothing is what it seems.

REVIEW: This movie offers no easy answers, I'm sure that you will not figure out the plot by the end of the film. So you can tell your one "know it all" friend to shut the hell up, when they are constantly hollering at the end, "I knew it, I knew it, didn't I tell you? Didn’t I tell you?" Yes, we all know how annoying that shit is, however, you can call them on their bullshit, because this one is a rather difficult one to figure out. The movie is a tad bit low budget, but the acting is decent, and you get more than enough eye candy with Shemar Moore. I must also mention the cast is packed with known black actors/actresses. Many don't realize that they are on the hustle and a lot of them turn to the independent black films (just a lil' tidbit). Anyway, you can purchase this DVD for about 12.99 or less if you don't mind a used film at Amazon.com. Or, if you stay in a majority black neighborhood, your local Wal-Mart/Target should have it. Leave the kids at your mom’s; there are a few risky sex scenes. This is a great 4th or 5th date movie, or if you are taken, then watch it with boo. Enjoy!

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: I'm Sick (cough, cough) by Ginger Snap

I knew Friday afternoon that I wasn't going to come into work on Monday. It was just one of those "girl, f*ck that job" moments. For once I wanted to sleep in, watch Oprah in my pj's and relax. The only problem was in figuring out what excuse I was going to use. They were worse than the military at my job. I swear you had to damn near bring in your doctor to the office to validate your absence. My arsenal of lies was running low. My dog died twice, I had a bladder infection, the runs at least three times a month, a sleep walking grandmother, an emotional breakdown every other week, and the only brand new audi on the market that broke down once a month. Needless to say, the people in HR weren't exactly inviting me to their after work socials. With my tank of "good" excuses running on empty, I had to come up with something before Monday.

It was Sunday evening and I was ready to put my plan into action. I was going to pull one of the classics. I was going to call and leave a voicemail on my boss's machine and explain that I was having a severe emergency and would not make it to work the next day. I mean, who in the hell is in the office on a Sunday? My boss would most likely check her messages late Monday evening and not even bother to extensively question me on Tuesday. I would get both documentation that I called in sick and an extra day to come up with a great lie. I dialed the number and waited as the phone rang. All of a sudden I hear, "Hello?" Sh*t, my boss was in the office! I couldn't hang up because we had caller id at work, so I immediately panicked. Word vomit just kept spilling out of my mouth until I became a shoulder to lean on for my friend and co-worker, Tianna who was only skipping work on Monday because she found out that she was pregnant. I was supposedly taking her to the abortion clinic. I was clearly lyin my ass off. Tianna was really going to be out on Monday to close on her new home. She was going to cuss me the hell out on Tuesday, I know that much. All this for one stupid day off. I didn't even enjoy my "sick" day because I was too busy worrying about the altercation that was bound to happen between Tianna and I.

Just as I was drowning my sorrows in a bag of Doritos, my phone rang. It was Tianna. I figured it would be better to get cussed out in the privacy of my own home so I answered. "Hey girl, what's up?" I asked. "Don't play stupid b*tch! You know what's up," Tianna yelled. Ewww, she was pissed. However, I continued to play stupid, "No, I don't know!" "Girrrrl, the boss gave us the week off!", Tianna screamed. "What? Really?" I asked in astonishment. "Yeah, she told me that she once had an abortion in high school and was very understanding of how I must have been feeling. In the process, she said that we could have the day off, since I would need a shoulder to lean on." "So....you aren't angry at me?" "Naw, I was able to peep game, and I ended up telling her that you were really the one who had the abortion. I can't have a lie that drastic trickling down to that fine ass suga daddy lookin brotha in accounting...Shytttt, I'm tryin to get my mortgage paid. Girl, not only did we get some juicy gossip on the boss, but we got a week off! Let's go shopping!"

Despite the fact that I had a stack of counseling pamphlets on my desk the next week, you could say I got off pretty lucky. However, things may not work out so well for you. But there's a solution...There's a new book on the market called "The Sick Day Handbook" by Ellie Bishop. It only costs $10 and I'm sure it will help you out more that I obviously can. However, here's a few helpful tips Tianna, the excuse-ologist gave me.

1. Having a migraine is a good excuse. You don't want to do anything that would take you to the emergency room. Try adding a slew of sent "get well" flowers to your guilty conscious.

2. If you actually have children, go for the "My child is sick" over the "My elderly mother is sick". Kids are often sick so it's believable.

3. Keep the lie simple. Make sure you don't do what I did and take the lie too far. You want to get in and get out. The longer you talk the more questions are to be asked and soon you are having to remember an hour conversation about a rare disease caused by perm.

HAVE FUN ON YOUR DAY OFF!