Work Gossip 101

While I was at work last week, I found myself in the midst of some "juicy" gossip. I noticed a few workers were huddled around the water cooler steadily whispering. Ofcourse, i'm nosy, so I suddenly became thirsty. The conversation was in reference to my boss. Supposedly, she's sleeping with the Fed Ex man, who was flirting with the intern, who supposedly was caught giving the janitor "quite a mess to clean up" (READ BETWEEN THE LINES LADIES). Anyway, my boss and I are really cool, and I ended feeling quite uncomfortable knowing a little too much about her personal life. When you find yourself in the middle of "don't tell anyone I told you this but" gossip sessions, do you walk away feeling empowered or guilty? There are actually many advantages to staying "in the know," but finding out unofficial information can also put you in an awkward spot. To be blunt: You don't want to find yourself in the middle of some shit at work...it's not a good look.

Clearly, there's a good way to gossip at work and a bad way. How can you tell which is which? I will let you know...

BAD GOSSIP

1. Bad gossip is petty. This isn't high school. Unless you're working at a beauty shop, talking about Karen's bad weave is off limits. Same goes for any conversation about the sloppy gyro Grady brought for lunch after his gastric bypass surgery.

2. Bad gossip is indiscreet. Why in the hell would you tell Martha that Leah is interviewing for better jobs? If you only knew that Martha has been trying to get her job for the longest. Now you she's going to pass it through the grapevine so it can get back to your boss. Leah will be fired, Martha will be upgraded, and you no longer get Leah's younger sister's discount at Saks. Damn.

3. Bad gossip is intended to harm someone. Ok, so you don't like that bitch in payroll. But if every time you open your mouth all that comes out is a new complaint about her, pretty soon people are going to get annoyed and aren't going to like you.

GOOD GOSSIP

1. Good gossip is relevant. Your boss wants to hire Keisha to be your assistant. However, you know first hand that Keisha takes 4 hour lunches, 4 "breaks", makes 4 hour personal calls, and takes 4 good pens from the supply room everyday. In these cases, share this information with your boss. If your job is going to be directly affected, there's no harm in dishing out a person's work habits. It's not like you're making things up, you are simply stating the obvious. Everyone knows damn well that it shouldn't take Keisha 2 hours to deliver a package next door.

2. Good gossip helps people make decisions. Tyrone, the gay mail clerk, can't decide what to wear for casual Friday, so he asks you your opinion. It's either the see-through mesh muscle shirt and fitted flares, or a polo and slacks. You happen to know that the homophobic Manager from out of town will be in the office on Friday to secretly monitor the workers. This is a situation where you want to give Tyrone the inside scoop. And besides, Tyrone gives you handy beauty tips and a heads up for who's on the down low...you can't afford for him to get fired.

3. Good gossip helps people improve. Before you share some info, especially if it's something negative you've heard about the person you're about to share it with - ask yourself: What can this person do with this information? Is it something he or she can change? Gary told you that Grace, who greets the customers, is notrious for having stank ass breath. Unfortunately, you also overhead the top execs discussing it over lunch. Grace is a sweetheart, and her job is at stake, as well as her reputation. Rather than laugh at the usual doo doo breath jokes in the break room, quietly pull Grace aside. Be discreet and offer Grace a peppermint. Though feelings may be hurt, this is a case where you must spill the beans. I guarantee the next week, Grace will be reeking of Listerine.