Courting, by Coffee Bean

Courting . . . .

I was once mortified and embarrassed when my mother used an ancient relic to describe my relationship status. A shaking of the head would ensue and I wished my mother more up-to-date with relationship jargon. The word was beyond “old school!” But experience has taught me to have nostalgia for the past. To respect the past, helps you appreciate the present-- especially, when you and your significant other are “courting.”

Courting is when a man actively seeks the affection of a women and woos her with non-sexual social activities thus leading to a relationship and perhaps marriage. Courting can occur during many facets of the relationship. However, it begins before you and the man are a couple. You are treated as a lady, and I repeat it is non-sexual in nature; thus, there is no pressure to “put out.” Courting should be the preferred method for dating; it also helps to eliminate dates that lead to instant booty. It helps you make a level-headed decision about a relationship. Courting also allows you to see the potential in a man. Too often, people jump into relationships without getting to know the person whom they are dating. It is only after they have had sex and done some shacking that they realize they are dating a stranger. Courting allows you do to the following:

• Diminish sexual tension
• Get to know a man
• Understand your relationship needs
• See the potential in a man
• Enjoy life and youth

If you are fortunate to meet a man and begin “courting,” consider the following list of dates. They allow for maximum courting potential!!!

Bowling Alley - This is a neutral date. It allows you to participate in a physical activity while still creating competition and conversation . Unlike going to dinner or lunch, bowling does not place you in awkward conversational situations. You are not forced to endure a stale conversation with a man who lacks personality. Going bowling allows you see the athletic capabilities and coordination of your date.

Get Together with His Friends- Yes you may be uncomfortable around new people. However, it is beneficial to you if you get to see this man when he is around his friends. The mask he wears when you are on a date is removed when he is around his friends. Men are usually on their best behavior on the first date. Around their friends, they are unwound and relaxed. You get to experience their humorous side as well as their ability to defend themselves (men have a tendency to talk shit about each other). If they can battle with their friends, they might not be as lame as you thought.

A Concert or Play- Whether it is on the Chitlin Circuit or its William Shakespeare. Plays and concerts are great dates because they can create rousing and intellectual conversation afterwards. Not to mention the close theater seats and dim lighting add a romantic touch to the date.

A Walk in the Park- Free 99 ! You can walk hand and hand and you can enjoy the outdoors. This date belongs in that giddy stage: the mention of each others names causes both you and him to reveal your pearly whites. Conversation is the ultimate goal for this date. Perhaps you can have a discussion about where the relationship is headed or what the other person seeks in a mate. This date can be used to have the heart to heart conversation you have been craving.

Apple Picking- The non-traditional date! The apple harvest season is a beautiful season. The weather is getting crisp and the supple colors of autumn sing romance throughout the air. This date gives you an excuse to nudge up to you special interest or play damsel in distress. The results, however, apple pie, apple preserves, fried apples, apple cider, allow you to show off your culinary talents. Great way to score some brownie points! If you can’t boil water, you can usually find a do-it-yourself caramel apple kit in the produce section of your grocer.
Have fun and be open-mined. A man who believes in courting will remind you that you are a lady and that you deserve the utmost respect. He will restore your confidence in love and dating and leave your heart smiling with love and adoration.