HAPPY NEW YEAR!

ThreeScoops Online would like to wish everyone a happy and safe New Year's Eve!

Here's a to do list for tonight:

1. Get a designated driver. Everyone has a friend who doesn't drink at all, or is tipsy after a wine cooler. You need to invite them out tonight regardless of any possible setbacks. Yeah, One Kooler Keisha might come out tonight wearing a one-piece silk catsuit, but at least you know you and the girls will get home SAFELY.

2. Bring in the new year cute and classy. Please, Please, Please, don't let us have to put any of ya'll on the WOOF section. We have eyes everywhere, So go ahead and return that extra medium tube top. And make sure if you are wearing skin tight clothing, to give yourself a little extra room for tonight. You know you will be nibbling on some winglets and drinking lots of liquor...No one wants to see your after meal stomach pooch peering from under a glittery cami.

3. No drunk phone calls. Ladies, we are too good too fall back on PLAN D, which is the semi fugly backup for the other two backups. If you know you have the tendency to call up a brotha, try to make plans for the "booty call" ahead of time. Call up your "PLAN A" early in the afternoon, flirt a little, and make your reservation. Nothing is worse than realizing the next day that you called all of your ex-boyfriends the previous night.


Well, that's all. Anything should really be common sense. Have a great time tonight!

The legal weed: Hookah, by Smart Cookie

I recently had my first experience with a Hookah Lounge about a month ago, and let me tell you...I thought I was breaking the law....

For those of you, who've never heard of a Hookah Lounge, it's basically a place where you smoke "flavored tobacco". The atmosphere was very tranquil and relaxing. Everyone sits on plush couches and in the middle, the Hookah sits on a sits on a table. As you can see in the photo, there is a large contraption that is used. There is a menu that lists different flavors, and in my case we chose strawberry-orange. Hookah typically costs around $15 and last about 45 minutes plus depending on how many people you are with. There were four of us, and sorry, I was in a rather drunkenly state, so I don't quite remember, but I know it lasted more than 30 minutes. Ofcourse there is specific etiquette, but we didn't know any better and just used the ol' "puff puff pass". At first you feel slight crackheadish, in that you are basically sucking on this huge pipe. Bubbling water at the bottom of the pipe ensures that you are smoking it properly. If you don't get any bubbles as you inhale, you aren't doing it properly, and you have to take it "to the head", so to speak. I must say after about two rounds and a few drinks, I was feeling pretty damn nice. I was floating on cloud nine, I couldn't believe that "flavored tobacco" could have such an effect. Please broaden your horizons and visit a Hookah Lounge, you'll enjoy it. Also, some of the more posh lounges actually turn into more of a club atmosphere after hours, in which the hookah becomes only available to those who actually have a vip room. I recommend going with a group of friends and reserving a room. That way once everyone is pretty nice, you can dip in and out into the club area if you choose. Only reserve a room if you are going to a lounge that turns into a club atmosphere, and keep in mind that hookah lounges vary depending on the set up, so you might not need to reserve a room.



Here are a few hookah lounges that I found to be pretty nice...

NEW YORK: Kush Lounge, located on 191 Chrystie Street, between Stanton and Rivington. There website is http://www.kushlounge.com/

CHICAGO: Sigara Lounge, located on 2013 W. Division Street, phone number: 773.292.9190, There website is http://www.sigaralounge.com/

WASHINGTON D.C.: Chi Cha Lounge, located on 1624 U st. NW, phone number: 202.234.8400, There website is www.latinconcepts.com/chica

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: The Home Depot Hustle

The Home Depot Hustle

Purchasing your first home is a metamorphic event. You are no longer under the obligations of rental living; nor, are you relegated to the restive covenants of living at home with your mama. You can finally fix your bacon-breakfast-biscuit in you birthday suit. I purchased my first home this summer, after a uneventful house hunt. I bought in a “up and coming” (still corner action around the block) South Side Chicago neighborhood. The vintage condo is accented with ornate crown molding, antiquated original cabinetry, and deeply varnished hardwood floors. However, my vintage condo was in need of some serious TLC. I bought the three bedroom, two bathroom, 2000 square feet condo at a great price. But, I was in for a surprise when I begin the renovation. Here begins my Home Depot woes.

The Theory

Once upon a time, Pecan Perfection mentioned that Home Depot was an excellent place to meet a man. She theorized that men who frequent this store MUST be good with their hands. However, she did not mention that Home Depot is the Mecca for the Handy-man Hustlers of Home Improvement.

Here, Take My Card!

While in the process of looking for tile, a three-fingered brother in a one-piece painter’s suit approaches me. “Hey, uh, you know I do everything. Here, take my card.” Note to self, he might actually be some good considering he is missing a few body parts. Ten minutes later at the register, this same brother is asking me for some loose change because he left his wallet in the car. WTF? Let me make a prediction. This man is the type of repairman who only wants to get paid in cash. As soon as he gets paid, he has the potential to disappear for several weeks, leaving me with a gutted kitchen and no plumbing.

Everybody, and They Mama!

Over budget and tired. Rushing and stressing. I was looking for paint to go in my kitchen and my bathrooms. Money was getting tight and my patience was disintegrating. I’m picking up paint samples and trying to figure out what colors would complement my home. As I glance to my left, I notice two men walking down the aisle. A hostile and bitchy grimace must have come across my face. One immediately said, “Ay . . . I ain’t trying to talk to you. I just wanted to know if you had someone to paint, because you know, I paint.” I beg your pardon! No, I’m not interested in your services. Are you that strapped for customers that you have to solicit in Home Depot? I’m sorry, but I must decline!

Time to Pick Out Cabinets

An extremely knowledgeable and helpful gentleman was helping me pick out my cabinets. He took his time designing my kitchen cabinets according to my measurements. He answered my questions and offered his suggestions. I was overwhelmed by the competent and skillful customer service. The man, who is clearly the beneficiary of a social security check, flirts with me as he calculates the cost of my cabinets. Not a problem! Who knows, maybe he can give me a discount? Then, here comes the side hustle! “Who are you going to get to install the cabinets?” Damn, is everybody at this home improvement store, customers and staff, moonlighting as a handyman? I told the man that I not only had someone to install them, I had a crew who was going the load and unload the cabinets onto their truck, drive them to my home, and carry them to my third floor apartment. Are you still interested? Nonetheless, the gentleman was helpful and polite, but his actions yielded a NEW theory.

Yes you might be able to find a date at Home Depot. But the date might be with a leaky faucet and a three-fingered handy man instead of Mr. Right.

WEEKLY WORD: BATCH

Batch

A development of the word bitch. However it is used in a more friendly context. It is used for those who cant get away with calling their mothers or friends a bitch.

Ex. Towards your friend: Damn! I've been waiting outside in the car for over 30 minutes! You are a late ass batch!

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: You know you be lookin' at it... By Dulce Leche

Is it just me or do other young professional women find themselves taking a quick look at his, you know…left ring-finger? I would have to say this habit began after graduating from college. It was then that I became a more avid user of facebook and a new member of MySpace—you know, to remain connected to the wonderful group of friends I made in college. Well little did I know that graduation was the official welcome sign for another phase in life, marriage. On many occasions, while looking at my peeps profile pics from time to time, I found myself saying, “She got MARRIED!?”

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against marriage, or those that have gotten married, but as I look at these pictures, they seem to do something to my nature. I mean, it wasn’t until after seeing those pictures do I glance at a man’s finger. It’s like those magazines that picture skinny-assed women as the ideal standard of beauty. For some reason, those wedding pics are doing the same. With all my married friends, engaged friends, or friends in serious relationships, I begin to question my own status. WTF is wrong with me?

After slapping myself silly, I realized, nothing. I am young, intelligent, attractive (and I can cook). It was from that point forward, I began to study my newly formed habit of looking at a man’s left ring-finger. Here is what I came up with:

1. Your friends have gotten married, and now you feel as if you should be too. Just like those damn popular stilettos everyone seems to have, why is it that I don’t have a pair yet? You head to the store because…

2. You are interested in what the market looks like. Just like any tangible item you consider taking home with you, a pair of black-leather stilettos or a man, you like to consider your options. Glancing at the finger to learn their status is your way of knowing if the good ones are still around. This buys you time. But then, you come across ‘the’ pair of stilettos…

3. Do I get ‘em? –is what I often ask myself when confronted with an extraordinary pair of black-leather stilettos. You try them on for size, they feel alright. You stroll through the store isle to test em out. But, you will not know for sure until they are home with you and you’ve really spent some time with them. Little did you know—they would irritate your big toe. Just like a man, you assess their initial impression on you; he’s a cool cat. You go out with him a couple of times, opens the doors for me –check plus; offers to pay for the bill – check plus; GREAT in bed – check PLUS PLUS! Move in together; bad bad bad call. A self declared man mooch. By the time you get around to this stage, you feel as if you wasted your time on this dude, and your money on the shoes! Moving on with your life…

4. You are running into the department store one day to get a belt, when you do a double take on what appears to be the finest, most exquisite man ever made…you don’t care if he’s a stiletto a whole size too small or a dog, you’re takin’ this one home! And the cycle repeats itself…

Ladies, the lesson is…there is no rush. The market will always be there, and is ever-changing. No need to feel the pressure of finding a man, being in a relationship, or rushing into marriage! Enjoy the silly little moments of innocent flirting. Look at the man’s finger, and if he catches you, slip him a lil’ smile and a quick wink. This is what being single is all about! Years from now, when you do get married, you will wish you had these moments back. At least, that is what I have been told.

PERFECT PORTFOLIO = PERFECT JOB, by Smart Cookie

If you are trying to land a creative position, then having a great portfolio is a must. My personal portfolio included work samples that were beyond outdated. I was in desperate need of a portfolio makeover. After reading several resourceful books from the pros, I was able to "pimp out my portfolio", Here are the tips that I found most useful...

1. MORE ISN'T NECESSARILY BETTER

Who cares that you have 20 plus pieces in your portfolio, if they are all crappy? You are definitely only as good as your weakest piece, so when choosing portfolio pieces, be very selective. Only choose your top work. Most executives expect to see about twelve high quality work samples in your portfolio.

2. ORGANIZE YOUR PORTFOLIO ACCORDING TO THE COMPANY THAT YOU ARE APPLYING TO

Prior to an interview, heavily research the company and assess their needs. The company's specific needs should determine which pieces you select for your portfolio. So if you are applying to O Magazine, you might not want to include that article you wrote for King Magazine.

3. YOUR PORTFOLIO SHOULD EXEMPLIFY YOUR UNIQUE STYLE

In the creative world, you have to brand yourself. Therefore, your portfolio should clearly demonstrate your talent, and showcase the skills and style that make your projects unique from your competitors. The creative world is brutal and highly competitive, so you definitely don't want to bring the "norm". You want to stand out of the crowd.

4. START STRONG AND END STRONG

Your first piece should be your strongest piece. You want to wow them at the beginning and immediately grab their attention and interests. Nothing is more embarrassing than an employer who is uninterested and unimpressed. If this is the case, chances are that your interview will be so short, you won't even realize it even started. Your last piece should also be a very strong piece. That way if you happen to lose the employer a tad bit in the middle, you can bring them back into focus. You also want to leave a good lasting impression.

MEET MIKE

Ladies, Meet Mike . . . .

A twenty-four year old finance major graduating in December 2007, Mike is a goal-oriented man with charm, style, and wit. While not in school or working full time for the city of Chicago, Mike enjoys playing golf, shooting pool, and reading the Wall Street Journal. Intelligence, although an admirable trait, is not the only selling point for this eligible bachelor. Mike is also quite ambitious! After obtaining his bachelors degree, Mike plans to continue his education by attending law school or earning his MBA. This handsome young man with a promising future also enjoys patroning the arts: museums, theaters, and art galleries. Not only can Mike help you crunch your numbers, he can also accompany you in exploring some of the most renowned exhibits the City of Chicago has to offer. Obviously, Mike is a brother who has an appreciation for culture and learning! Not to overemphasize his dignified side, Mike enjoys watching sports, especially the Chicago Bears. It is not unusual to find Mike sitting around the plasma TV, watching the game and talking shit with his boys. Mike’s ideal woman should possess intelligence, personality, and humor. Equally important to Mike is a woman who is goal-orientated and focused. A black man to the heart, Mike loves a woman who can cook! So ladies click and point to the threescoopsonline cooking section for some pointers. Mike is a teddy bear at heart and will treat his one and only like a princess.

If you are interested in corresponding with Mike please email me at coffeebeanonline@yahoo.com

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: THE ONE NOTCH THEORY, by Hot Chocolate

My girls and I are constantly talking about whether we will every find true love and happiness. Well, the future isn't looking to bright to be honest. The pickings are slim to none, and you have to hit the lotto to come across an elgible hot commodity. However there are some secrets to success: The One Notch Theory of Relationship Success.

Here is how it works. Every person's thrown into the dating pool can be rated from one to ten. This rating isn't just your looks, but the whole package: Intelligence, accomplishments, fitness level (man boobs equals a 3 point deduction), transportation, etc. you get the point. The idead is that if your say, a seven, you will not feel satisfied unless you find someone who is exactly one notch better than you are, an eight. The catch is that the other person has to feel that being with you is also a step up. So the next time you are out recruiting, scope a brother out, and ask yourself two questions: "Is he an upgrade? Am I an upgrade?" If the answer to both is yes, then you might be a perfect match. Basically everyone is looking for the next best thing. Don't front, you know if you are a seven, and you found a six, you will still have your eye out for that eight or above. I know it sounds really superficial, but who are we kidding, most are attracted to those who appear to be unattainable.

However, the real secret is in how to delude the unattainable into thinking that they've hit the dating jackpot with you. For example, say you've met a handsome seven. And you are a seven who would've been a eight if only you know how to cook. Then, you want to pull the ol' FAKE AND BAKE, ladies, you should know this one...Have mom come over early in the day to throw down in the kitchen, or even get some shit catered. Later on that night, put the food on your own dishes and spruce it up with some garnishings and serve it to your date, as if you just got done slaving in the kitchen. Your perfect eight will get the illusion that you are a cookin' seven, when you are really a frozen dinner six. Hey you gotta do what you gotta do. You never know when you will come across those seven and aboves, and you can't let them slip out of your hands. I am going to write a sequel to this article, giving some of the major tricks of the trade on how to delude the perfect 10's, lol. to be continuted...

Rum Raisin Presents: Barbie Punch

This punch is for the prissy girls who like to entertain. It's not meant to get you drunk, just a small buzz...it's cute. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

2 cans frozen pink lemonade concentrate
1 bottle Champagne
Sliced strawberries
Sliced peaches
Sliced mangoes

Directions:

In a large punch bowl, combine pink lemonade concentrate and Champagne. Stir to combine and dissolve frozen lemonade. Add sliced strawberries, peaches and mangoes to punch bowl. Ladle into glasses and serve.

DAILY HOROSCOOPS

SAGITTARIUS - You are moving up in the world. Don't get arrogant.

CAPRICORN - Make a list of pros and cons before making a decision.

AQUARIUS - You are headed towards a serious burnout. Get some rest.

PISCES - Stop being a wallflower and socialize. You will get some great connections.

ARIES - Be a chatty cathy today. Today is your day to communicate.

TAURUS - You've finally got "good credit and such", now it's time to start investing, "you're all grown up". And I don't mean in a new pair of shoes, try a starter home or someting, hint hint.

GEMINI - What are you doing? I told you yesterday to look for a sugardaddy. He's out there waiting to take you shopping.

CANCER - Stop trying to take on more than you can chew. Delegate some responsibility.

LEO - Everyday you are digging in your purse trying to find your keys. Get organized.

VIRGO - Finish up loose ends regarding a personal matter.

LIBRA - It's time to focus on yourself. Sign up for that gym membership, get that spa treatment, make that hair and nail appointment, buy yourself something nice.

SCORPIO - You have the money, so go ahead and sign up for that night class and enhance your knowledge.

Black Karaoke, by Smart Cookie

When you typically think of karaoke, you basically envision yourself in a predominately white environment, rummaging through a book full of songs that doesn't include hardly any rap or r&b. The closest you get to a hot song is Blackstreets "No Diggity", which can only be jazzed up so much, yet you sing it like it came out yesterday. I mean it's either "No Diggity" or "Baby Got Back", the pickins' are slim. Well, I found a solution to your karaoke woes. Laristo's II, a sports bar, located on 146th and Torrence Ave., in Calumet City, IL, offers a real laid back environment. On Thursday nights around 10pm, they host a fun-filled karaoke night. There is a well balance mixture of people trying to get records deals, actual old school "sangers", and the everyday shower singers. And you don't have to worry about not having a great song selection. Two huge books include everything from Ludacris, Faith Evans, Luther, to Anita Baker, to Jill Scott. The choices are endless! The crowd is very generous and friendly, so don't worry about getting booed if you sound horrible. Another great plus about Laristo's is that it's BYOF, yeah, i know, not BYOB, but BYOF...BRING YOUR OWN FOOD. With a Harold's just down the block, I highly recommend picking up a 4pc on the way. Also, bring at least four people with you, karaoke is not fun when it's just you and one other person. If you interested in having a night filled with endless laughter check out Laristo's II on Thursday nights.

Laristo's II: phone: 708.891.1343, Located: 146th & Torrence Ave., Calument City, IL

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: The Man Mooch, by Hot Chocolate

Man Mooch (mn) (mch) n. - A man who does not take on any type of household and financial responsibilties, and instead allows his girlfriend/mate to assume a motherly role, while he comfortably remains a dependant; a sponge.

Unfortunately, I have attracted a man mooch or two in my day, and trust me, it's no picnic. I honestly think the more independent you become, the more likely you are to attract a man mooch. He may not be parasitic when you first meet, but eventually you start to notice warning signs, until one day you realize that you should be claiming another person on your taxes. Man mooches come in all shapes and sizes, and don't get it twisted, a man mooch might very well have his own crib, car, and a job, but he is just cheap as hell and would rather stay at your crib to eat up all your food, sit in your a/c, and ride in your car so he doesn't have to fill his gas tank up. Now, I definitely don't mind sharing my belongings with my man, but it becomes very problematic and quite annoying when I notice that you have paid for 2 of 10 ten dates, one of which we went dutch. Not to mention that, I had to drive way outta the way to pick you up for all of these dates. It seems as if guys have gotten so overwhelmed and intimidated by strong, independent women, that they have just completely loss their minds and have determined that they will just put in as little effort as possible into the relationship and revert to a lifestyle of usin' and abusin'. Ladies, I mean man mooches do extra triflin' things such as, assume that because you have a good job, you don't want your change back from the 20 dollar bill you gave him to put 10 dollars on pump eight. I don't care if i'm holding a stack of hundreds, I want my change! Beware of man mooches...

WEEKLY WORD

1. LIGHTNING - Hair that sticks up or sticks straight out because it is too short to fit into a ponytail. Lightning cannot be controlled or tamed down, not even with a glob of gel.

Ex. That girl knows her hair is too short to be tryin to wear a ponytail. Lightning is striking all over the place.

DAILY HOROSCOOPS

SAGITTARIUS - Be grateful for what is new in your life.

CAPRICORN - Take some time for yourself, relax in a quiet space and take time to think.

AQUARIUS - A close friend is under a lot of stress and needs your help.

PISCES - The spotlight is on you no matter how much you try to avoid it.

ARIES - Go ahead with your plans, it's too late to change things now.

TAURUS - Don't feel bad about recounting that money your triflin' borrower finally pays back.

GEMINI - You need to find a sugar daddy, a sponsor or something. Funds are tight and you need a helping hand.

CANCER - Stop trying to buy all name brand groceries, you need to go ahead and put those Rice Krispies back and grab the "Krispy Rice". They all taste the same and you need to cut some corners.

LEO - Link up with an old friend and form a stronger bond.

VIRGO - Stand back and take notes today.

LIBRA - Learning is important today, Study.

SCORPIO - You are lucky today, go ahead and pick up that lotto ticket.

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: Rebirth, by Candice Horton

I felt as though my confidence was at its highest peak. I just did it. Without a second thought, a tinge of hesitation, an “I’ll sleep on it moment,” I did it. I went natural. As confident as I am today this has been an uphill battle and decision that seemed to have me “sleeping on it” for about 4 yrs now. I wanted to go natural a long time ago. My sister was the first in the family to blossom into her self. She was our guinea pig. I still remember my initial response, so scripted by society; it came out “Why did you do that?” Through a forced smile hiding behind selfish thoughts of how her decision would make me look when we were out together in public. Blooming like a flower, it took her a while to get used to the new woman in the mirror. I saw this new confidence I had never seen in her before. Like a child in a candy store, I wanted some. My mom was next. For her I think it was more of a convenience thing. My mom always found the easy way out when it came to managing her hair. Pull it back, pin it up, set it for a week, whatever she could do to forget about her processed tresses and make more time for the more concerning matters in life. As I watched my mother and sister embrace their kinky curls I grew jealous. Jealous of their bravery to step into such an opinionated world with their heads held high. Jealous of the short amount of time that it took for them to get ready and look like a million bucks. Jealous of the money they saved as I continued to dip into funds that I didn’t really have but would go into debt for, just to get my hair bone straight!

I attempted to go natural two times before going through with it. The first time was after I was in Ghana, Africa for a month. I didn’t touch my hair the entire time I was there. I had a short cut at the time and lived for a month with head wraps and scarves while I embraced my culture and its beauty. After returning I was dead set on going natural. It was my sophomore year at Indiana University and I was going to follow in my sister’s footsteps. I couldn’t do it. That Optimum box perm was speaking louder than my confidence at the time. The second attempt was my junior year of college. I convinced my sister to put micro braids in my hair because I was ready to go natural. She made me promise her I would go natural after hours, even days of braiding a million little braids throughout my thick head of hair. My promises were empty, as empty as the perm container as I sat in a salon, feeling the cool sensation of the no-lye chemical on my scalp. There was no feeling like it.

My perception of myself became less clouded when I graduated from Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana and moved to Brooklyn, New York. I had braids when I moved here and didn’t consider going natural so I did what I always did when I had braids. I spent two grueling days taking them out, went to the hair care store, bought a perm and asked my sister to apply it. My hair was thinner than it had ever been. I looked into the mirror and saw for the first time what I was doing to my hair. The damage, the heat, and for what? The damage was so bad that I had to cut my hair short and shave it in the back. Yes, it was cute. I could always rock a short do and never complained when it came to cutting my hair and giving new colors or styles a chance. After another month of curling, bumping, and gelling I had had enough. Everyday I walked outside I was graced with gorgeous natural styles: twists, locs, groomed fros. I remembered saying to myself, “I want that.” Then it began, I was going to do what it took to get what I wanted. For two months I let my hair grow. It was a grueling wait and a science experiment all it’s own. I didn’t know what to expect. I felt like a chia pet waiting for my hair to sprout out so I could see what it looked like. I wore scarves and head bands to conceal the binary that was being produced on my head: sleek and straight ends and curly and kinky roots. I wanted to break down occasionally but the beautiful, natural women of Brooklyn kept me on track. I kept setting dates for myself as to when I would cut off my processed hair. I would push back the dates because my hair wasn’t long enough. I did this at least three times. It had to be planned. It had to be right. At least that is how I thought it was supposed to be. The day I cut my hair I had no idea I was going to do it. I washed my hair like I usually did on Sunday’s, conditioned it and blew it dry. The next step was the curling iron. I was tired of this routine. I was fed up. I was ready. I called my sister and told her I was ready to make the big cut, she responded with justifiable skepticism because of my empty promises in the past. I didn’t know where the feeling was coming from but I remember not having a concern in the world that this was the wrong decision. I grabbed the scissors and I started cutting chunks of processed hair off. Letting the hair fall to my shoulder, into the sink…to the ground. Unveiling the new me, the real me. I stared into the mirror for hours admiring the new me and seeing my face for what seemed like the first time.

BEFORE

AFTER

MEET ALGENOY

Meet Algenoy

An up and coming author, speaker, and life coach, Algenoy is a successful businessman with an eye for style. When he his not speaking or writing, Algenoy mentors youth at a local high school. An avid reader and poet, you will likely see Algenoy reading a book or penning his next poem. He has a passion for African culture, self improvement, and metaphysics. Algenoy is a deep conversationalist and loves to talk about a full gambit of issues—politics, spirituality, music, or the latest fashion. Damn, this is a deep brother! But don’t get it twisted, he knows how to have fun. Algenoy believes that his ideal partner should possess beauty, intelligence, ambition, style, discipline, and charisma. Chicken-heads and gold-diggers need not apply! Charming, handsome, and employed, this is a man with more than just good benefits!!! What more can a woman ask for?

Questions, comments, concerns about Algenoy???

Please email me @ coffeebeanonline@yahoo.com

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: SECRET SHOPPING TIPS, by Smart Cookie

Don’t you just hate going to TJMaxx on Saturday? You spend an hour trying to sift through the mess the other shoppers leave behind, and you finally come across the cutest shoe, only to find that there isn’t a match. Damn! Half the day is gone, and you didn’t even buy anything. Not to mention that you still have to make a trip to Target…damn…Damn…DAMN!

GO SHOPPIING DURING THE WEEK

Most stores get their stock during the weekdays. I guarantee if you go shopping on a Wednesday after class, during your lunch break, or even an hour before the store closes, you will have a lovely shopping experience. TJMaxx will be clean and organized, and they will have an abundance of merchandise. Not only does TJMaxx now have the match to that cute shoe you found previously, they have several pairs. I highly recommend that shopping be done during the week, but if you must venture out on a Saturday or Sunday, please avoid hitting the snooze button in the morning, and be at the store as soon as they open.

Now that you are shopping inside of TJMaxx on a “good” day, you have the entire store inside of your cart, and you are heading directly to the layaway line and/or register.

RE-EVALUATE THE CONTENTS OF YOUR CART BEFORE YOU MAKE YOUR FINAL PURCHASE

Hey, if you are rollin’ in the dough, then this need not apply to you. However, if you are ballin’ on a budget or using your bill money to support your shopping addiction, you might want to follow my advice. Try to organize the items in your cart into three categories:

1. THE GOTTA HAVE IT PILE

This pile should contain the items that you cannot live without. These items are the ones that if you do not buy, you will dream about them; Therefore, forcing you to return to the store the next day, in hopes that your items haven’t been purchased by someone else. The “Gotta Have It Pile” must be purchased or put on Layaway immediately!

2. THE SO/SO PILE

This pile should consist of the items that are cute, but you definitely do not need. These items are usually the ones that you already have at home, but in a slightly different style or color. These are the items that you might think about once you are in the car, but quickly forget about once you realize that your phone bill is due in a few days. Though you might put back items from this pile, you may purchase items from this pile as well. Warning…A side effect of this pile is Indecisiveness. It may be extremely hard to decide which items to keep and which items to return to the shelves.

3. THE YOU ARE GREEDY PILE

You don’t really need ten purses! Nor do you need that silk pajama set, when you and I both know that you usually sleep in a t-shirt. And that leopard print bra, that’s just hideous! This pile is made up the items that you bought during your “shopping high”; you know what I’m talking about. A shopping high is the result of over excitement, which then puts you into a trance in which you are picking up items unconsciously. All of the items in this pile must be taken out of the cart ASAP! I repeat, DO NOT purchase these items!

So regardless if you put items on Layaway or not, you may be headed to the cash register. The cashier gives you your total, and then asks, “Would you like to save 10% on your purchase today?”

TRY TO AVOID ACQUIRING STORE CREDIT CARDS

Really think on this one. If you only have $50 of merchandise, is five dollars off your purchase really worth another opened account going on your credit report? Even if you are spending hundreds of dollars, most of us assume that we will just pay the balance off as soon as the bill comes. But we all know that rarely happens. Time passes, you totally forgot about your big purchase and have spent the money, and a few days later a TJMaxx credit card bill comes with a 25% interest rate. Now you have acquired a new bill. If you must take the discount, then I would suggest you pay the full balance right on the spot if possible, but still consider that you have gained another opened account on your credit report. If you must use a credit card, pull out the Visa, Discover, or MasterCard, but don’t open a store account because chances are your major credit card has a much lower interest rate than the store credit card. So basically the best advice I can give, trust me, I am talking from experience, is to avoid getting the store credit card at any cost. You can survive without new shoes, but you cannot survive with bad credit!So you are finally done with your shopping trip, and you are leaving fulfilled. Whew! What a day, ladies. After a fulfilling shopping experience that hasn’t left you feeling guilty or feeling broke, you must end your day with an important ritual.

PARTAKE IN A SHOPPING COOL DOWN

After a great shopping experience, treat yourself to a tasty treat, or if you are out with your girls, go out to dinner. If you are alone, go ahead and order that large fry. Eat your food on your way home, and as soon as you get home take your items out of the bag and adore them, even try them on if you’d like. Well, it’s been fun, and I hope these few tips will enhance your shopping experience. Good Luck!

UPDATES/IMPROVEMENTS

NOTE TO VIEWERS/SUBSCRIBERS: HOROSCOOPS ARE ONLY AVAILABLE MON.-FRI., TO ACCESS A WEEKEND HOROSCOPE PLEASE LOOK ON THE RIGHT SIDEBAR UNDER HOROSCOPES.

WE'VE ALSO ADDED A NEWS SECTION IN WHICH YOU CAN ACCESS TOP STORIES FROM CNN, MTV, AND CRUNKTASTICAL (LEADING BLACK CELEB GOSSIP SITE).

THANX,

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

WOOF.

I feel sorry for that bottle of Hennesey.

CUTENESS: Knekraps, Recommended by Smart Cookie

Though the weather is acting really strange, it's still rather chilly outside. And what better way to stay warm than with a cute snuggly scarf? However, some scarfs can be a pain in the butt. Too long and getting caught in the door and stuff. And don't let your coat have velcro on it; Your scarf is destined to stick to it, causing ugly fuzz balls. A friend of mine hand knits these really cute scarfs called Knekraps (pronounced neck wraps, duh!). Each one comes with a unique vintage button handpicked from thrift stores around Manhattan. You are getting a one-of-a-kind. You can even request custom colors! I guarantee no one is going to have one in your neck of the woods (no pun intended) Priced at $30 which includes shipping, you are getting a steal. Out here in the NY, they are getting a major buzz...she can't make them fast enough! You definitely want to scoop a few of these up, and they will make very nice Christmas gifts for you late shoppers. And for ya'll who have a boo that's a bit metro, you can get the more masculine black one with a locket button. How cute is that?


If you want to purchase a Knekrap you can visit http://homepage.mac.com/langdon40/PhotoAlbum28.html

Or you can Email us at Contact@threescoopsonline.com for more information.

Which Machine Do I Get On? by Milky "Weigh"

There are so many cardio machines at the gym, from elliptical trainers to treadmills. It's a bit overwhelming. Most of us often wonder which machines will give us the best workout. Honestly, most cardio equipment can provide a satisfactory workout. So choose the machine that you enjoy the most. If you pick a machine that you enjoy, then you will help maintain your motivation. In conjuction with choosing a machine that you like, you should find one that's safe for you body. If you know you have bad knees, don't get on the treadmill. I would also pick a machine that's fitting to your body. For example, if you have a big butt, then the exercise bike might not be your thing. Or if you have big titties, you might want to bypass running on the treadmill, unless you have the proper sports bra to tame those bad boys.

No matter what machine you end up choosing, remeber that your main goal is to find and stay within your target hear-rate zone. And if you get tired of working out on the same machine, don't be afraid to mix things up. The maximum time spent on cardio should really only be about 60 minutes, 3-5 times per week. So please don't pay any attention to those women in there who are practically killing themselves trying to get on Top Model. I guarantee if you try to compete with the woman next to you who is running an Olympic qualifying time on the treadmill next to you, your ass is going to end up on the ground. Take it from someone who knows. Moving on, rather than staying on the same machine for 60 minutes, you might want to try 15 intense minute cycles on four different pieces of equipment.

In case you still can't decide which machine is best for you, here are a few key differences between the treadmill, elliptical trainer, and the bike.

1. Treadmill

Motion: Running or walking

Benefits: Running and walking are natural movements. Most treadmills are easier on your knees and back than the hard pavement outside.

Caution: Run evenly by making sure your heels hit the treadmill first, then rolling through your arch and pushing off with your toes. However, if you have serious knee or back problems then you need to just avoid the treadmill.

2. Elliptical Trainer

Motion: A cross between stepping and cross-country skiing.

Benefits: This machine reduces the forces on your knees and lower back in comparison to running.

Caution: If you don't have good balance, you need to hold on to the rails for support. Otherwise allow your arms to swing freely at your side. If you are using the full body ellipticals please make sure you use your arms and legs equally.

3. Bike

Motion: Like sitting on a couch. Especially if you are riding while watching the tv in the gym. The best machine for beginners.
Benefits: Because your feet aren't making contact with the ground, there is no shock to your body. The circular movement can also be very meditative.

Caution: Make sure you don't lock your legs out at the bottom of your stride. Do not use this machine if you have serious lower back pain.

DAILY HOROSCOOPS

SAGITTARIUS - Turn off the television and get your work done. You are easily distracted today.

CAPRICORN - Don't make any assumptions today, they'll prove to be false and you will look like an ass.

AQUARIUS - Your girls will influence your spending habits today.

PISCES - Today you are all over the place, and you accomplish nothing.

ARIES - You don't know what the hell your talking about, so don't try to pretend like you do.

TAURUS - You can't hold water when it comes to secrets. You need to stay away from nosy rosie today so you don't spill the beans.

GEMINI - Don't get in the middle of it. Mind your own business.

CANCER - Patience, patience, patience.

LEO - Your temper is hot today. You have reached the last straw.

VIRGO - Love is in the air. Dress cute today.

LIBRA - Don't try to put anything together without the instructions.

SCORPIO - Don't start tossing around money you don't have to impress friends.

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: Mom what you don't know might hurt you, by Hot Chocolate

MY FAMILY DOESNT DEPICT THE PERFECT FAMILY, WHERE MOTHER AND DAUGHTER DISCUSS EVERYTHING FROM THEIR FIRST PERIODS TO LOSING THEIR VIRGINITY. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO TELL THEIR MOTHERS EVERYTHING, AND WHEN I SAY EVERYTHING I MEAN IT. "MOM, I HAD SEX LAST NIGHT" AND "MOM, MY FRIEND SUSIE GOT SOOO DRUNK THAT WE HAD TO TAKE HER TO THE HOSPITAL." NOW, THE NEXT TIME SUSIE COMES OVER TO HER FRIENDS HOUSE, SHE WILL PROBABLY BE HANDED PAMPHLETS TO AN "AA" MEETING BY HER FRIENDS MOTHER. HOW EMBARASSING IS THAT? THOUGH MY PARENTS HAVE "BOBBY AND WHITNEY" MANNERISMS, I USED TO REPRESENT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM. A FEW YEARS AGO IF YOU WERE TO ASK MY MOTHER ABOUT ME, SHE WOULD TELL YOU THAT I WAS THE PERFECT ANGEL, SAVING MYSELF UNTIL MARRIAGE. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING, "HER LYIN ASS". AND YES YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, BUT HOW MANY OF YOUR MOTHERS ACTUALLY KNOW THAT INSTEAD OF DRINKING A WINE COOLER ON OCCASION, THAT YOU ARE THROWIN BACK SHOTS OF VODKA EVERY WEEKEND BEFORE A PARTY? HOW MANY OF YOUR MOTHERS KNOW DETAILS OF YOUR SEX LIFE, OR EVEN THAT YOU HAVE A SEX LIFE AT ALL? WHO ACTUALLY TELLS THEIR MOTHER ABOUT A LATE NIGHT BOOTY CALL, A FRIEND WITH BENEFITS, OR THE HANDCUFFS THEY PURCHASED AT A SEX TOY PARTY? HELL, WHO EVEN TELLS THEIR MOTHER THAT THEY WENT TO A SEX TOY PARTY? HOW MUCH INFORMATION CAN YOU ACTUALLY SHARE WITH YOUR MOTHER WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A COMPLETE LIER OR A COMPLETE IRRESPONSIBLE DRUNKEN HOE? WELL, AFTER A RATHER INTERESTING EXPERIENCE, I THINK I MIGHT HAVE FOUND THE ANSWER...

ONE FRIDAY NIGHT MY FRIENDS AND I FOUND OURSELVES BORED OUT OF OUR MINDS. THERE WERE NO PARTIES, EVERYONE HAD ABOUT TEN DOLLARS TO THEIR NAMES, AND THE ONLY THING ON TELEVISION WAS A "REAL WORLD" MARATHON THAT WE HAD WATCHED THE NIGHT BEFORE. WHAT WERE WE TO DO? WELL, IN THE MIDST OF GIRL TALK WHICH USUALLY CONSISTED OF SOME FORM OF MALE BASHING, COMMENTS ON HOW BROKE WE WERE, AND ADMIRATION OF TYRESE'S OR 50 CENTS BODY, SOMEONE BLURTED OUT,"WE SHOULD GO SEE SOME MALE STRIPPERS!" AT FIRST EVERYONE WAS LOOKING AT THE CULPRIT, LIKE "BITCH, PULEEASE!" BUT THEN THERE WAS A MOMEMENT OF SILENCE. WE WERE ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF GOING, WELL, AT LEAST I KNOW I WAS. AFTER A BRIEF THOUGHT OF A DARK HANDSOME MAN WITH A NICE BODY GLISTENIN' IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES...MMMMM...I DARTED TO THE NEAREST COMPUTER AND GOOGLED "MALE STRIP CLUBS". AFTER INTENSE SEARCHING, I FINALLY FOUND A PLACE ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES FROM US THAT JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE HAVING A MALE AMATEUR NIGHT THAT WAS STARTING IN JUST A MATTER OF TIME. NEEDLESS TO SAY THAT WE ALL PILED IN MY GIRLS CIVIC AND SPED OVER TO "ARNIES". WHEN WE PULLED UP TO "ARNIES" THE PARKING LOT WAS PACKED! I GUESS WE WEREN'T THE ONLY WOMEN ON THE PLANET, WILLING AND READY TO TREAT A MAN LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT. AFTER FINDING PARKING, WE SLOWLY HEADED TO THE DOOR. ONCE WE ENTERED, WE WERE OVERWHELMED WITH LOUD WHOOPIN' AND HOLLERIN', BLARING STROBE LIGHTS, THE STENCH OF BEER, A COMPLETEY NUDE MALE POPPIN' ON A HANDSTAND TO R. KELLY'S "BUMP AND GRIND", AND...I HOPE YOU ARE READY FOR THIS...A SLEW OF OLDER WOMEN! YES, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT! THERE WERE A TON OF OLDER WOMEN THROWING OUT DOLLAR BILLS AND YELLING THINGS LIKE,"SHAKE THAT ASS!" AND EVEN WORSE,"BRING THAT @#!? OVER HERE!" I EVEN SAW WOMEN SMACKIN' NAKED BUTTS! I WAS IN TOTAL SHOCK, HERE WE WERE FEELING GUILTY ABOUT GOING TO A MALE STRIP CLUB, AND WOMEN THAT COULD HAVE BEEN OUR OWN MOTHERS WERE THERE ACTIN' A DAMN FOOL. I FELT OUT OF PLACE, LIKE WE WERE INTRUDING ON "GROWN FOLKS BUSINESS", SO I WAS VERY HESITANT TO PULL OUT MY SINGLES. THAT WAS OFCOURSE UNTIL A GROUP OF WOMEN SHARING A BOTTLE OF CROWN ROYAL TURNED TO US AND YELLED," WHAT'S WRONG BABIES ARE YALL SCARED?" AND OUT OF NOWHERE A WOMAN WEARING A ONE-PIECE CATSUIT HANDED ME A SINGLE AND PUSHED ME ONTO THE STAGE AS IF SHE HAD GIVEN ME HER MOTHERLY APPROVAL. AFTER THAT IT WAS ON AND POPPIN'. MY FRIENDS AND I WERE ABLE TO LET LOOSE AND WE ENDED UP HAVING SO MUCH FUN THAT WE MADE A POINT TO COME BACK ONCE A MONTH.

SO BACK TO THE QUESTION AT HAND, HOW MUCH INFORMATION CAN YOU ACTUALLY SHARE WITH YOUR MOTHER WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A COMPLETE LIER OR A COMPLETE IRRESPONSIBLE DRUNKEN HOE? WELL, AFTER MY LITTLE STRIP CLUB EXPERIENCE, I LEARNED THAT YOU CANNOT ASSUME THAT YOUR MOTHER IS A COMPLETE PRUDE. DON'T FORGET THAT YOUR MOTHER WAS ONCE IN HER TWENTIES TOO, AND JUST BECAUSE SHE IS AN OLDER WOMAN DOESN'T MEAN THAT SHE STILL DOESN'T LIKE TO HAVE FUN. CHANCES ARE SHE'S LOOKING AT YOU LIKE YOU ARE A BIG LAME. ALL OF OUR MOMS HAVE MADE SNIDE REMARKS LIKE, "YOU ARE ALWAYS IN THE HOUSE!" OR ASKS, "HOW COME YOU NEVER GO ON ANY DATES?" OR EVEN SAYS,"I KNOW THIS NICE YOUNG MAN WHO IS SINGLE" . YOUR MOTHER ISN'T MAKING THOSE COMMENTS JUST TO START CONVERSATION. IF YOU HAVE BEEN ACTING COMPLETELY INNOCENT IN YOUR MOTHERS PRESENCE, SHE PROBABLY THINKS THAT YOU ARE A COMPLETE LONER, AND FEELS SORRY FOR YOU. BY NO MEANS AM I SUGGESTING THAT YOU TELL YOUR MOM EVERY DETAIL OF YOUR HOT AND STEAMY NIGHTS WITH A SIGNIFICANT OTHER, OR OF YOUR DRUNKEN NIGHTS WHICH RESULTED IN A MASSIVE HANGOVER. YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART WHAT THINGS WOULD JUST CRUSH YOUR MOTHER IF SHE WAS TO EVER FIND OUT, SO KEEP THOSE THINGS TO YOURSELF. JUST LIKE WE DON'T WANT TO EVER ENVISION OUR PARENTS HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS, BEING STUPID DRUNK, OR PARTAKING IN BARELY LEGAL ACTIVITIES, THEY'D RATHER NOT PICTURE US DOING THOSE THINGS EITHER. BUT DON'T KEEP YOUR PARENTS COMPLETELY IN THE DARK, KEEP THINGS LIGHT AND RESPECTFUL. GOD FORBID THAT YOUR PARENTS GET A CALL THAT YOU HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR DRUNKEN DRIVING WHEN THEY DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THAT YOU DRANK. OR EVEN WORSE, YOU COME HOME PREGNANT WHEN YOUR PARENTS THOUGHT YOU WERE A VIRGIN. SO HOW MUCH INFORMATION SHOULD YOU TELL YOUR MOTHER?

JUST ENOUGH TO KEEP YOUR MOM IN THE KNOW, WHILE KEEPING THE DETAILS ON THE LOW! REMEMBER THAT SIMPLE RHYME AND YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO ACT LIKE YOU ARE SPENDING TIME WITH THE GIRLS, WHEN YOU ARE REALLY MEETING UP WITH A HOTTIE FOR DRINKS. YOU CAN NOW SAY,"MOM, I'M GOING OUT ON A DATE...DON'T WAIT UP!" AND YOUR MOM, THOUGH SHE MAY STILL SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN UNTIL YOU HAVE MADE IT BACK HOME SAFELY, WILL RESPOND BY SAYING,"OK HONEY, HAVE A GOOD TIME, DON'T STAY OUT TOO LATE! DO YOU HAVE YOUR CELL PHONE? CALL IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, I'LL KEEP THE PORCH LIGHT ON FOR YOU...."

HEY, YOU CAN'T EXPECT A MIRACLE, A MOM IS STILL GOING TO BE A MOM, LOL.

CUTENESS: Angela Boot, Recommended by Smart Cookie

I'm slightly picky when it comes to my boots. I don't sacrifice my feet for the sake of looking cute. And I don't like anything extra, no sparkles, be-dazzles, glitter, etc. Because I stay in the NY, I walk everywhere, so i've fallen in love with kitten heels, low heels, flat, etc. They are cute and comfy. No corns here! I can get a pedicure and be worry free (No need to go "overtime on Myra").

Today I found the Angela Boot, by Zigi NY. Priced at $137.95, they're slightly pricey, but that's about how much you should expect to pay for a decent pair of leather boots, not to mention they are mid-calf boots. They come in three colors: brown, black, & red. Unfortunately, they only go up to a size 9.5, so all you big footers will have to pass on these. But if the shoe fits and you want to stunt over the holiday, you can purchase Angela at zappos.com.

WEEKLY WORD

We here at ThreeScoops have our own special slang. Words that somehow we end up using quite often, so it's only right that we share them. Chances are you will come across these in our articles. This weeks word is: hoe bath. Try to use it in a sentence this week with the crew, and maybe it will catch on.

1. HOE BATH or HOE WASH

When you don't have time to take a bath or shower, but you need to freshen up fast. standing by the sink or sitting on the toilet, clean with wash cloth or hand and soap. Better known as "washing the essentials."

Ex. Girl, i didn't have time to take a bath before he came over so i did a hoe wash real quick before he got here.

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: Learning to Love a Fug, by Merry Cherry

Fug - A person who is fuckin ugly.

Have you ever come across those odd couples that just make you do a triple take? A very beautiful woman holding hands with a damn wilderbeast, just triggers your gag reflexes. You immediately think that the fug either has an attractive lifestyle or is a guru in bed. I personally couldn't even bring myself to kiss a wilderbeast, but that's another issue. Anyways, so many times you try to convince yourself that you only care about a man's personality, but who are you really trying to fool? You are only fooling yourself. You and I both know that you would take a dumb, broke and triflin' Boris Kodjoe look alike over a sweet and successful Flava Flav look alike, ANYDAY. But somehow a few fugs manage to slip through the cracks. How is this possible? How do you learn to love a fug? I will tell you.

Several months ago, I found myself in an off and on relationship with my Kryptonite. Every woman has one. You know, that man who is triflin' as hell, but yet you can't leave him alone. He can lie, he can cheat, but yet has this special "mojo" that intoxicates you, making you lose all common sense. He's the one who your friends constantly complain about. He's your drunk phone call. Yes, indeed, I was dating my kryptonite.

While I was in this bad relationship, I happened to work with this guy who had been trying to date me since college. He was a fug in my eyes...short as hell, crooked teeth, and an avid wearer of Fubu. Yet there was something about his persistance that was quite intriguing. He would stop by my cubical and give me compliments. Compliments turned into quick conversations. Quick conversations turned into me venting to him about my horrible boyfriend. I was using him as my therapist until one day I finally accepted his invitation to dinner. That night, I was hoping my boyfriend would do something that would make me change my mind about going on the date. But ofcourse, he disappointed me once again. He was out "club promoting", as usual and had no time to spend with me that night. So I went out with the fug. I was expecting him to show up like he had just jumped out of the Staci Adams clearance rack, when my doorbell rang. "Damn!", I said as I opened the door. I could'nt even hold in my thoughts. He cleaned up nice! Yeah, he was still short, and yeah, he still had crooked ass teeth, but everything else was on point. Hair was lined up, outfit was hot, shoes were nice, cologne was smellin' good. I had no complaints. I immediately saw his potential. I could upgrade this fug. After practically breaking his neck to open every door for me, we arrived at the restaraunt. It was breathtaking. He had made reservations and everything. I couldn't had asked for a more perfect time. Then came the true test...the arrival of the bill. Now if I was with my boyfriend I would have been letting him "hold down a couple of bills" until we got home. And ofcourse I would never get it back. But things were much different with this guy. After reaching for my purse to go dutch, he immediately pushed my hand away, as if I had just insulted him. Yesss...there is a God. After my date with the fug, which I will now call Brian, I was seriously questioning the relationship that I was in. Would I rather stay with a man that was extremely attractive, but was making me feel unhappy, or a man that had potential who treating me like a queen? It's easy to fix crooked teeth, but nearly impossible to turn a hoe into a husband. I broke up with my boyfriend and gave Brian a chance.

I've been dating Brian for over 5 months now, and i've never felt better. I've never been this content with a relationship. Brian is no longer a fug, better yet, he was never a fug. In all actuality, I was the fug, in that I was too superficial and self-conscious to give a good man a chance. I would have preferred my friends complain about my man's actions rather than his looks. The situation with Brian made me take a good look at myself. After deep reflection and a good self-evaluation, I realized that my own lack of confidence was causing superficiality, and ultimately affecting my perception of what a good man was.

A few fugs manage to slip through the cracks. How do you learn to love a fug? Easy, just learn to love yourself first.

DAILY HOROSCOOPS

SAGITTARIUS - Stop being a scaredy cat, and show your true feelings to someone you care about.

CAPRICORN - Stop being lazy and put in the work. Hard work pays off.

AQUARIUS - Your small gathering won't be any fun. You need to invite everyone.

PISCES - Granny is going to dig into her pocketbook and give more than just a peppermint. She knows you are low on cash.

TAURUS - Finish your Christmas shopping. The stores won't be as crowded as you think. Also splurge a little on yourself. That coat you've been drooling over will be on sale.

CANCER - Get together with the girls and have fun catching up and gossiping.

LEO - Figure out what you want, and go get it.

VIRGO - You can finally stop stressing. The check is in the mail.

LIBRA - Stop stalking that cutie that lives around the corner, and just ask him out.

SCORPIO - No one from your greedy family is home, and Aunt Mary has dropped off her mouth watering 7up cake. Hide it and keep it for yourself.

GEMINI - A "Beyonce/Jay-z" relationship is headed your way. Your future boo will be a romantic and a business partner.

ARIES - Some verbal fallout from a recent confrontation is having big repercussions. Get some exercise to clear your head.

Between Friends, by Smart Cookie

Tamia's fourth album, "Between Friends", is a SCOOP MUST HAVE! Every single song is a hit, and not just a "radio hit", these are songs that will never get played out. It's rare these days to find a cd that you can just let play from beginning to end. Until I purchased this cd recently, I was listening to my old Mary, and Erykah and Jill Scott cds in hopes that something new would come along. Luckily, I can take the "My Life" off repeat and listen to some new music. Not only can Tamia sang, but the songs are well written, 15 tracks of pure genius. This cd is definitely for the grown ass woman, coming home from a long day. I am sipping a glass of wine and singing along as we speak. Please support Tamia and PURCHASE this cd. This is not a cd that you want to burn. You want to have the real thing in your cd collection. To give you a heads up, though every song is really good, my personal favorites are: Happy, Become Us, Last First Kiss, and Day Dreaming. And those are just the songs that I can't help but put on repeat. Why are you still reading? GO TO THE STORE AND PICK UP THE CD!

DAILY HOROSCOOPS

ARIES - You have too much on your plate. Ask for help.

TAURUS - The work you have to do has piled so high, it's out of control. Stop procrastinating!

GEMINI - Everyone is putting in their two cents, and yeah, it's quite annoying. But listen, because some of these suggestions are actually pretty good.

LEO - Don't just rely on your intuition. Do your research. In this case it's better to make an informed decision.

VIRGO - Things haven't been going your way, but things will turn around. Don't get your blood pressure all up, relax a little and take the "fuck it" attitude for a while so you're not worn out by the time things brighten up.

LIBRA - Start that big project you've been wanting to attempt. The time is finally right.

SCORPIO - You're beginning to look like new money. You are making major connections that will lead to good deals. But maintain your cool, and don't act as if you've never had anything "nice" before. Do the major celebrating amongst your girls.

SAGITTARIUS - You've got a following. Lead the crew and let them know what needs to be done next.

CAPRICORN - Several people who can make things happen are looking out for you.

AQUARIUS - Stop investing your money into your cousin Pookie's Pre-Paid Legal side hustle, and start investing in the business that you've always wanted to start.

PISCES - Like Aaliyah once said, "If at first you don't succeed,Dust yourself off and try again,You can dust it off and try again"

CANCER - Things happening in your home will prompt you to make some changes in your life.

Santa Claus Is A Black Man

It's Christmas, last minute shopping and all. I'm sure everyone's credit cards are approaching their limits by now, which means there are a lot of sad faces out there. Here's a laugh to cheer you broke heffa's up! You only have about a week and a half to get your aunties much needed bathrobe. (p.s., There are too many black women out there with tattered, wore down, raggedy ass robes, lol.)

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: Wigs are your friends, by Coffee Bean

Every woman can vouch for the bad hair day. You get out of bed and you take off your head scarf and marvel at the mangled crown own your head. You knew the night before that your hair was a mess, yet you hoped that a little grease and a “do rag,” would create magic underneath your head. But as you look in the mirror, you realize that maybe you shouldn’t have skipped that appointment with your stylist. Unfortunately, you are in a time crunch to get to work and your hair has that “buck wheat effect.” Not to worry sister, whether you are rocking, dreads, a fro’, or a relaxer I guarantee there is a way for your mane to look fabulous in just five minutes. What’s the magic trick? All the celebrities have them; you just don’t know that they do, probably because you think they went out with the Supremes and Labelle. The huge helmet sized masses on the head of Diana Ross and Patti Labelle’s have been replaced with more versatile and natural looking pieces. Wigs have made a substantial comeback because of their easy maintenance and versatility. They are no longer the half cocked toupee sitting on Mother Perham’s head at the First Missionary Rock of the Olive Baptist Church. They are worn by young women whom by choice, decided to forgo the afro picks, hot combs, and flat irons, in favor of a less stressful more convenient style. There are several types of wigs.

The quick weave- These wigs have a natural looking effect; they may be natural or synthetic. A portion of your own hair (usually the bangs) is parted and styled and the hair piece is inserted right behind the bangs. Blend and style your hair with the piece, add oil sheen or wig spray for shine and you are ready to go.

Regular wig- These wigs cover the entire head. They also can be found in natural and synthetic. You can find these in any style and color you want. To give them a more natural looking effect try to find one that has a part towards the crown of your head. That way the scalp is hidden and it looks more like your own.

Natural vs. Synthetic- These wigs come in both natural and synthetic. The choice is up to you! Warning, you cannot use heat on synthetic hair. So if you are looking for something you can curl and blow-dry like your own, you definitely need natural hair. This may cost you a little more money. These wigs usually run between $75-$150 depending on the maker and the quality. Synthetic wigs are also good to have. Because they are usually less expensive than the Natural wigs, you can buy more and increase the versatility of your styles.

Happy Wig Hunting!

Winter Boob Care, by Pistachio

OLD ASS BRAS

Let's stop cheating ourselves. I know there is alot of you out there buying $150 jeans, but are still wearing the same old ass bras you had in high school. Still wearing bras that barely fit anymore and have had more than their fair share of wear and tear. Ladies, let em' go, put them out of their misery. An ill-fitting bra can cause back, shoulder and neck pain. Women with larger breasts in particular are more susceptible to discomfort in their upper-torso if their cup sizes are off. The weight of your breasts must be distributed evenly to ensure comfort. No matter how big or small you are, a too-tight bra can lead to bad posture, then back pain. Don't hesitate to get fitted for your proper bra size. Don't feel embarrassed to get this done, as you've all probably seen from Oprah's legendary "Bra episodes", most women are not wearing the correct bra size. I vividly remember being in Victoria's Secret when this woman insisted that she was a D cup when she was clearly something like a triple Z. After arguing with the saleswoman, she finally tried on the larger size and came out looking like a new woman.

ASHY BOOBS

You swore up and down that you put some lotion on this morning, yet your breasts are feeling extra dry. The friction between them and your bra is damn near starting a fire. Chilly air has little humidity, and as a result the skin on and above your breasts may become itchy, irritated, or flaky. To avoid this unexpected ashiness, just make sure you stay hydrated by applying a little more lotion than usual after your morning shower. Also try using a thick lotion before bed. You might even want to do like mom would probably suggest, and just bust out the jar of Vaseline.

LET THEM BREATHE

Because the weather is cooling off, we are all digging in the boxes for our sweaters. When you are all bundled up, you tend to trap sweat which can trigger the growth of bacteria and yeast that can causes blemishes. Avoid blemishes by occasionally wearing thin, breathable layers made from natural fibers, such as 100% cotton or silk. Your wool sweater may be a show stopper but your boobs are suffocating, so let them breathe.

MACKIN' CHEESE AND WINGS, by Coffee Bean

MACKIN' CHEESE AND WINGS

Use this recipe when dining alone or with company. Follow theses step-by step directions and your meal will turn out wonderful.

Mackin’ Cheese:

You will need:

8x8 glass baking dish, 2 cups of elbow macaroni, 2 cups of Colby-Jack cheese, 2 cups of mild Cheddar cheese, 1 cup of Mozzarella cheese, 2 cans of Campbell’s Cheese Soup, 2 cans of milk, and Cooking spray

• 1. Preheat oven to 350°
• 2. In a 2 quart saucepan, bring 10 cups of water to boil
• 3. Add 2 cups of elbow macaroni to the water and boil according to directions 4. While macaroni is cooking, combine 2 cans of Campbell’s Cheese Soup with 2 cans of milk. Cook for 4-7 minutes under a low-medium heat, till mixture is smooth. Be careful, if the fire is too high, the mixture WILL burn!
• 5. Combine the three types of cheeses into one bowl and lightly toss together
• 6. Strain the macaroni when it is done
• 7. In a large bowl, combine the following: 1 Cheese soup mixture, 2 macaroni, and 3 cups of cheese
• 8. Stir the ingredients together
• 9. Coat 8x8 glass baking dish with cooking spray.
• 10. Pour mixture into greased dish
• 11. Sprinkle left over cheese on top; the entire top of the macaroni should be covered with cheese
• 12. Place into a 350° degree oven and cook for 35-45 minutes or until the top layer turns golden brown
• 13. Remove from oven, let the macaroni stand for at least 30 minutes

Wings:

You will need: 11x14 glass baking dish, 10 chicken wings, 3 tablespoons of garlic powder, 3 tablespoons of onion powder, 1 tablespoon of pepper, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 tablespoon of seasoning salt, Cooking spray, and 4 teaspoons of butter (optional)

• 1. Preheat oven to 350°
• 2. Rinse and clean the chicken wings
• 3. Pat the chicken dry with paper towel
• 4. Season chicken with 3 tablespoons of garlic powder, 3 tablespoons of onion powder, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 tablespoon pepper, 1 tablespoon of seasoning salt
• 5. Coat baking dish with cooking spray
• 6. Place the wings, skin side down in the baking dish
• 7. Add 4 teaspoons of butter to the dish (optional)
• 8. Place on the lower rack of the oven
• 9. Turn wings about 45 minutes into cooking
• 10. Cook for 1hr and 30 minutes on the lower rack of the oven
• 11. Remove after 1hr and 30 minutes of cooking
• 12. Let stand for at least 10 minutes

Music to your ears

Oh, how I love Christmas music! It's really time to get your grownup on at your new place and throw on the classics. Hey, even if you are at your parents crib for break, you can still put on a christmas cd and relax.

I've picked out several christmas cds for you to pick up. The list is really endless, but here are some of the must haves...

1. Anita Baker - Christmas Fantasy
2. Vince Guaraldi - A Charlie Brown Christmas
3. The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole
4. The Jackson 5 Christmas Album
5. Merry Christmas by Mariah Carey
6. 8 Days of Christmas by Destiny's Child
7. Christmas with Yolanda Adams
8. Mahalia Sings Songs of Christmas by Mahalia Jackson
9. My Kind of Christmas by Christina Aguilera
10. One Wish: The Holiday Album by Whitney Houston
11. This is Christmas by Luther Vandross
12. Christmas Interpretations by Boyz II Men
13. Christmas Collection: 20th century masters by Vanessa Williams
14. Nancy Wilson Christmas
15. The Greatest Holiday Classics by Kenny G

THROWBACK OF THE DAY: The case of the ex, by Butterscotch

It seems to be a generational thing, but why do women try to be friends with their ex's? At work last week, the older women were saying that having friendly ex's must be a "new thang", because in their day, you changed your number, moved to the other side of town, and switched up your whole routine after a break up. Once you and your ex broke up, it would be "Chuck who?" But now for some reason, us younger women tend to think that we can still be friends with our ex's: ex-boyfriends, ex-booty calls, ex-whatever. So I must ask, is your ex a friend or foe? Unfortunately, I think we all know the answer, but why is it so hard to let go? In no way am I suggesting that your ex has to become your worst enemy, but an effort to become friends with an ex usually just ends up in disaster. You end up comparing yourself to every new woman in his life, while plotting every woman's sweetest revenge: For your ex to realize that he has made a mistake in breaking up with you, cheating on you, not wanting a serious relationship with you, etc. Whatever the case may be, you want him to feel as if no other woman can compare to you. So what do you do? Despite the fact that you are now "friends", you find yourself still sleeping with him, which results in you catching old feelings and still wanting him to act like he's your man. Most of the time you are just waiting for him to have regrets, but what happens when there are no regrets? He's now happy and content with his new life that only includes you as his "friend", while you continue to let yourself hurt because you are hoping for something that's not going to happen. Even if you no longer have feelings for your ex, I highly recommend that you examine if your ex is even friend material. A lot of my ex's had no understanding of the word honesty, so how could we possibly have a true friendship if they're bound to lie about something as little as the color of their socks? Therefore, my advice is to go cold turkey, completely ditch the ex until you have given yourself ample time to reflect on your past relationship and relinquish any old feelings before you consider your ex worthy of being a friend (look at old photos, cry a lil' bit, get pissed, rip up the photos, etc.). If you've gotten over your ex, and you truly feel as if you and your ex can maintain a healthy friendship, then go ahead, make your ex one of your best buddies. But be cautious, make sure that you aren't liable to fall back into your "old routine" because you WILL NOT be fully capable of receiving the new cutie who wants to be your man AND friend, if you are carrying old baggage.

Work Gossip 101

While I was at work last week, I found myself in the midst of some "juicy" gossip. I noticed a few workers were huddled around the water cooler steadily whispering. Ofcourse, i'm nosy, so I suddenly became thirsty. The conversation was in reference to my boss. Supposedly, she's sleeping with the Fed Ex man, who was flirting with the intern, who supposedly was caught giving the janitor "quite a mess to clean up" (READ BETWEEN THE LINES LADIES). Anyway, my boss and I are really cool, and I ended feeling quite uncomfortable knowing a little too much about her personal life. When you find yourself in the middle of "don't tell anyone I told you this but" gossip sessions, do you walk away feeling empowered or guilty? There are actually many advantages to staying "in the know," but finding out unofficial information can also put you in an awkward spot. To be blunt: You don't want to find yourself in the middle of some shit at work...it's not a good look.

Clearly, there's a good way to gossip at work and a bad way. How can you tell which is which? I will let you know...

BAD GOSSIP

1. Bad gossip is petty. This isn't high school. Unless you're working at a beauty shop, talking about Karen's bad weave is off limits. Same goes for any conversation about the sloppy gyro Grady brought for lunch after his gastric bypass surgery.

2. Bad gossip is indiscreet. Why in the hell would you tell Martha that Leah is interviewing for better jobs? If you only knew that Martha has been trying to get her job for the longest. Now you she's going to pass it through the grapevine so it can get back to your boss. Leah will be fired, Martha will be upgraded, and you no longer get Leah's younger sister's discount at Saks. Damn.

3. Bad gossip is intended to harm someone. Ok, so you don't like that bitch in payroll. But if every time you open your mouth all that comes out is a new complaint about her, pretty soon people are going to get annoyed and aren't going to like you.

GOOD GOSSIP

1. Good gossip is relevant. Your boss wants to hire Keisha to be your assistant. However, you know first hand that Keisha takes 4 hour lunches, 4 "breaks", makes 4 hour personal calls, and takes 4 good pens from the supply room everyday. In these cases, share this information with your boss. If your job is going to be directly affected, there's no harm in dishing out a person's work habits. It's not like you're making things up, you are simply stating the obvious. Everyone knows damn well that it shouldn't take Keisha 2 hours to deliver a package next door.

2. Good gossip helps people make decisions. Tyrone, the gay mail clerk, can't decide what to wear for casual Friday, so he asks you your opinion. It's either the see-through mesh muscle shirt and fitted flares, or a polo and slacks. You happen to know that the homophobic Manager from out of town will be in the office on Friday to secretly monitor the workers. This is a situation where you want to give Tyrone the inside scoop. And besides, Tyrone gives you handy beauty tips and a heads up for who's on the down low...you can't afford for him to get fired.

3. Good gossip helps people improve. Before you share some info, especially if it's something negative you've heard about the person you're about to share it with - ask yourself: What can this person do with this information? Is it something he or she can change? Gary told you that Grace, who greets the customers, is notrious for having stank ass breath. Unfortunately, you also overhead the top execs discussing it over lunch. Grace is a sweetheart, and her job is at stake, as well as her reputation. Rather than laugh at the usual doo doo breath jokes in the break room, quietly pull Grace aside. Be discreet and offer Grace a peppermint. Though feelings may be hurt, this is a case where you must spill the beans. I guarantee the next week, Grace will be reeking of Listerine.

FAKE N' BAKE: Reindeer Cookies

Ok, so a lot of us independent sistas cannot cook. However, as smart educated women, we have the ability to dibble and dabble in a little trickery, also known as Fake n' Bakin'. For those who don't know what that is, Fake n' Bakin' is when you take something store bought or pre-cooked, pre-made, and just add a small twist to it, in which you can call it your own. :) With the Holidays coming up, we've found the cutest little christmas cookies! These are sure to impress your handsome new neighbor, or you can even slap these on a christmas platter and bring them to your boyfriends, "Momma Payne". Enjoy!

Take note: Be creative ladies, take this recipe to the limit. You aren't solely limited to reindeers. For example, get chocolate icing and create black santas! That will get you automatic brownie points...trust me.

Ingredients:

1 roll (16.5 oz) Pillsbury Create n' Bake refrigerated sugar cookies, 1/4 cup all purpose flour, 1 cup vanilla ready-to-spread frosting, 64 small pretzel twists, 64 semisweet chocolate chips (about 1/4 cup), 16 gumdrops (cut if half)

Directions:

Heat oven to 350°F. In large bowl, break up cookie dough; work flour into dough until well blended. Shape roll of cookie dough into triangle-shaped log. (If dough is too soft to cut, place in freezer 30 minutes.)

With thin sharp knife, cut dough into 32 (1/4-inch-thick) triangular slices; place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet.

Bake 7 to 11 minutes or until set. Cool 1 minute; remove from cookie sheet to cooling rack. Cool completely, about 15 minutes.

Frost cookies with frosting. Place 2 pretzel twists on each triangle near corners for antlers. Lightly press 2 chocolate chips into each cookie for eyes and 1 halved gumdrop for nose. Store between sheets of waxed paper in tightly covered container.

Ladies, don't forget about the christmas tins and/or platters. You are most likely to find cuteness at Target!